Dr Bogle

In Today's (Late) Issue

Dr Bogle by Dave Bradshaw
Dr's
That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing
Random Joke
Word
Finish with a Song

Doctor Bogle’s Clinic


In Doctor Bogle’s clinic,
Everything is great.
There’s something in the water,
So the atmosphere’s sedate.
And clothing is provided,
So your jacket’s always straight.
Oh! It’s wonderful at Doctor Bogle’s clinic.

In Doctor Bogle’s clinic,
Everyone is calm,
The floor and walls are padded,
So you’ll never come to harm.
And when the Doctor sees you,
It’s a real shot in the arm.
Oh! It’s wonderful at Doctor Bogle’s clinic.

In Doctor Bogle’s clinic,
The pharmacy is stocked.
And for your own security,
The doors are always locked.
And anyone who disagrees,
Is regularly shocked.
Oh! It’s wonderful at Doctor Bogle’s clinic.

In Doctor Bogle’s clinic,
The nurses spread good cheer.
I love the place so very much,
I go there every year.
For once you’ve been lobotomised,
There’s nothing left to fear.
Oh! It’s wonderful at Doctor Bogle’s clinic.

During the Holocaust, Polish doctors Eugene Lazowski and Stanisław Matulewicz saved 8,000 Jews by creating a fake Typhus epidemic. The Germans quarantined the area instead of risking outbreaks by sending them to concentration camps.

A nurse wanted to know if her farts were contaminating equipment in the lab. The doctor and a microbiologist tested the hypothesis by having a colleague fart clothed then naked onto two Petri dishes. The conclusion was that clothing acts as a filter, but naked farts can cause contamination.

Doctors from UCLA found unique blood cells that can help fight infections in a man from Seattle’s spleen, so they stole the cells from his body and developed it into medicine without paying him, getting his consent, or even letting him know they were doing it.

The US military sends its doctors to Chicago to give them practice for gunshot wounds.

A German biologist who claimed measles is psychosomatic offered 100,000 Euros to anyone who proved measles is a virus. A German doctor presented evidence of the virus; the biologist dismissed the evidence, but the local court ordered him to pay up

A Michigan doctor was sentenced to 45 years in prison for giving chemotherapy to patients who didn’t actually have cancer.

9. A female doctor from Brazil, after being fed up from burglars jumping over her fence and steal her belongings, tapped dozen of HIV-infected syringes atop her metal fence with a warning board saying, ”Wall with HIV positive blood. No trespassing.” 

10. In order to prove that the bacteria H. pylori could cause stomach ulcers, an Australian doctor named Barry J. Marshall drank a culture of H. pylori, developed an ulcer, and successfully treated it with antibiotics. He won a Nobel Prize for it in 2005.

A study performed in the United States found that surgeons who played video games on a regular basis made 37% less errors and were 27% faster than their non gaming coworkers.

I just applied for a job in the Citroen factory. I had to send in 2CVs.

WORD - In Danish and Swedish, 'gift' means both married and poison.

Finish with a Song - This is the Thompson Twins with Dr Dr