Twas The Night Before Christmas - By Dave Bradshaw

A Christmas Poem by Dave Bradshaw
Trivial Tinsel Top 10
That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaazing
Random Joke
Finish with a Song

Here is Dazzling Dave Bradshaw with :-

Twas The Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas,

And in Santa’s sleigh, the big man was starting to worry,

For the sherry and mince pies the children leave out,

Do not mix with a huge Reindeer curry.

“On Prancer, on dancer, on Thingamabob,

On Rudolph and Whatsit and Comet”,

As the magical reindeer sped on through the night,

And Santa tried hard not to vomit.

With his fat belly groaning and sloshing around,

Poor old Santa was feeling unwell,

And to make matters worse, he was farting like mad,

And he almost passed out from the smell.

From the front of the team poor old Rudolph looked round,

And announced to the rest of the deer,

“I cannot believe that he’s still got this job,

‘Cos he gets like this every damn year!

Ever wondered what were the biggest selling Xmas singles ??

Here they are :-

#10: JOHNNY MATHIS, "WHEN A CHILD IS BORN"

American singer Johnny Mathis released this track in 1976, and it hit the top spot in the UK. Mathis' recordings have sold well over 350 million worldwide, and he is the third most successful recording artist in the U.S. Johnny Mathis is the third biggest-selling recording artist of the 20th century, coming only after Elvis Presley and Frank Sinatra. 

#9: CLIFF RICHARD, "THE MILLENNIUM PRAYER"

Cliff's "Millennium Prayer" was released in 1999 as a charity single. The song features the UK's national treasure singing the words of the Lord's Prayer to the tune of "Auld Lang Syne." Proceeds of the single went to aid the charity Children's Promise. It never made it to No. 1 at Christmas, even though it had been at No. 1 for the previous two weeks in the UK!  

#8: THE POGUES FEATURING KIRSTY MACCOLL, "FAIRYTALE OF NEW YORK"

If there is a better Christmas song, I know not of it. For me, this encompasses everything wonderful about the festive season, yet it nearly never happened! The song was originally planned as a duet by Shane MacGowan and Pogues bassist Cait O'Riordon, but she left the band in 1986 before the song was completed. The Pogues were at the time being produced by Kirsty MacColl's husband Steve Lillywhite, who asked his wife to sing on the demo version of the song. The Pogues liked MacColl's contribution so much that they asked her to sing the part on the actual recording. Sadly, this Irish folk ballad never made it to No. 1 in any country.

#7: BING CROSBY, "WHITE CHRISTMAS"

First released in 1942, this classic festive song spent 11 weeks at the top of the Billboard charts. The single returned to the No. 1 spot during the holiday seasons of 1945 and 1946 (on the chart dated January 4, 1947), thus becoming the only single with three separate runs at the top of the U.S. charts! It also won an Oscar!

#6: BAND AID 20, "DO THEY KNOW IT’S CHRISTMAS?"

The 20th anniversary version of the famous Band Aid track is at No. 6 in the countdown, with sales of 1.17 million copies. The hit features Chris Martin, Bono, and Robbie Williams. 

#5: HARRY BELAFONTE, "MARY’S BOY CHILD"

Three-time Grammy winner, Harry Belafonte, is an American singer, songwriter, actor, and activist. One of the most successful African-American pop stars in history, he is known as the "King of Calypso." Belafonte heard the song being performed by a Schumann's Hollywood Choir and sought permission to record it. It was recorded in 1956 for his album An Evening With Belafonte. An edited version was subsequently released as a single in 1957. 

#4: SLADE, "MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY"

This was Slade's 6th No. 1 hit in the UK, and it stayed at the top spot from Christmas 1973 right through until January 1974 — only leaving the Top 30 that February! It beat another Christmas-themed song, Wizzard's "I Wish it Could be Christmas Every Day," which reached fourth place. 

#3: WHAM, "LAST CHRISTMAS"

Wham was the biggest group in the UK at the time they released this Christmas hit. The duo, made up of George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley, released this in 1984 as a double A side, along with "Everything She Wants." It is the biggest selling Christmas song to have never reached No. 1, with sales of $1.68 million.

#2: BONEY M., "MARY’S BOY CHILD"

Boney M was formed in 1975, and the four original members of the group's official line-up were Jamaican-born British singers Liz Mitchel and Marcia Barrett, Maizie Williams from Montserrat, and Bobby Farrell from Aruba. They released "Mary's Boy Child (Oh My Lord)" in the Christmas of 1978 — a cover of Harry Belafonte's 1956 hit — and topped our charts for 4 weeks. The song has been covered by Glee! 

#1: BAND AID, "DO THEY KNOW IT’S CHRISTMAS?"

I still remember when David Bowie introduced this song in 1984 on UK television. I was blown away at the amazing range of pop stars that Bob Geldof and Midge Ure managed to gather in London to sing on this charity record. It was the first of its kind and touched the nation. The funds raised from its sale were for the tragic Ethiopian famine. Featuring Boy George, U2, George Michael, and Bono, it has sold a staggering 3.7 million copies to date and is the second biggest selling single of all time. 

The largest gathering of Santa's elves is 1,110 and was achieved by Stockeld Park and Martin House Children's Hospice in Wetherby, North Yorkshire on 9 November 2013.

I am required at work to drink a popular orange fizzy drink at work at Christmas. Its in my contract. Its my "Fanta Clause"

This is Johnny Mathis - When a Child is Born