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Thursday 21 June 2018

Vets

In Today's Issue

Albert the Wonderdog

Vets
Random Joke
Get Published



Albert

Regular readers will know I have a little fellah called Albert.
He's part Jack Russell part piranha.....
His fetish is my underwear, pants and socks.

As a consequence I don't own one matching pair of socks and,
when it comes to pants, well lets just say, if your going to buy
adult lingerie, I can save you a lot of money, and provide free
crotchless pants !

Yesterday, I took him for his annual check up from the neck up.




Top left, as soon as we got there he made for the exit
Top right, "Dad don't let him hurt me"
Bottom right, "A needle!!!"
Bottom left, "I hate you all"

Anyway, he's now fine and back to his barky self.

Here's a little poem about my socks and him.



I love my socks
upon my feet
They make my
toes look really neat

They soak up sweat
or keep me warm
They smell so bad
like chloroform

Athletes foot
and verrucas sore
They disappear in my
black whole drawer

But worst of all
they're Albert's chew
and I have to pick them
out of his poo !!




  • The term veterinarian comes from the Latin world veterinae which means ‘working animals’.

  • Dogs are the most popular animal to show up on their veterinary exam table.

  • Almost 80% of practicing veterinarians are females.

  • All vets must have a specialty. The most common form would be a general practice with household pets and the occasional surgery needing specialty veterinarian equipment. But, others may go on to complete intensive studies oncology, radiology, animal dentistry, dermatology, cardiology, preventative animal medicine, internal medicine, or exotic small animal medicine and surgery.

  • Not all vets practice medicine, some work in basic research and development of new treatments. Others, however, apply their knowledge of animals and apply that to human problems. Veterinarian science reveals that about 61% of all the disease-causing agents in humans originate in animals.

  • Veterinarians are can profit incredibly by using refurbished medical equipment. Because they do not treat humans, they do not have to worry about the constant development of new and more expensive veterinary equipment that may not necessarily be better. They can take advantage and buy used medical equipment that will help them lower the costs of your animal’s visit.

  • Vets must take an oath when they graduate medical school promising they will use their knowledge for the benefit and protection of animal health and welfare. Additionally, they solemnly swear to relieve animal suffering, advance medical knowledge, promote public health, and practice their profession with dignity, while abiding by veterinary medical ethics.

  • In certain situations, vets can have very dangerous jobs! No matter how well behaved an animal can be, there is no way of telling what can happen on that veterinary exam table. Statistically speaking, more than half of all vets will get seriously injured in their line of work!



RANDOM JOKE OF THE DAY
So apparently Mary the raisin has been cheating on her husband with Dave the sultana. Just keeping you up to date with currant affairs.



Do You Want To Be Published ?

Get Published !!



This is YOUR CHANCE to get your story or poem in print in a published book that you can hold, read and share. 

We currently support a Mental Health charity. In order to raise funds for them, they have asked if we could put a book together containg their poetry, stories about mental health and how it effects them and/or their families.
The books theme will be about mental health, depression, but that doesn't mean you need to submit writing about that subject (but it would help lol)

THERE IS NO CHARGE OR COST TO YOU AT ALL. We are confident that the sales will cover the set up cost that we will pay up front! We want nothing from you other than your writing. We would like to have this book ready by no later than November so we can get it out for Xmas ( How nice would it be to give a present of your writing to a loved one ) 

Simply send your work to 'talesoftheunaccepted@gmail.com'....Please feel free to share this, with your own friends list so that they may get this opportunity...We've all got a book in us, now is the time to see it in print.

If you have an idea, but it's not ready yet, just let us know and we will book a slot in the book for you...