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Wednesday 1 August 2018

Ballad of a Drinker


In Today's Issue


The Ballad of a Drinker
Trivial Top 10
Amaaaaaaazing Fact
Random Joke of the Day
Tales to Unravel
Can I Speak my Mind





The Ballad of a Drinker 

Sitting in a bar
On Saturday morning
It's not yet 12
Is that a warning?

I'm drinking coffee
But soon something stronger
There's a gnawing in my gut
An alcoholic hunger

Scattered all around
are people just Like me
Sad, lonely souls
Drowning in a booze-filled sea

Some are eating breakfast
It disguises their craving
Legitimising existence
It's only their face-saving

Young people made old
By the bottle
Looking to meet their maker
And get there at full throttle

So cheers to you all
My comrades in drink
Raise all our glasses
Give A bloodshot wink

N Raper


The Top 10 Biggest Beer Drinkers in the World


10. Denmark

  • 89,9 liters per capita

9. Romania

  • 90 liters per capita

8. Belgium

  • 93 liters per capita

7. United Kingdom

  • 99 liters per capita

6. Estonia

  • 104 liters per capita

5. Austria

  • 108,3 liters per capita

4. AustrĂ¡lia

  • 109,9 liters per capita

3. Germany

  • 115,8 liters per capita

2. Ireland

  • 131,3 liters per capita

1. The Czech Republic!

  • with 156.9 liters per person !!

And...for my American chums.

The top five states for beer consumption per capita: 1. North Dakota, 2. New Hampshire, 3. Montana, 4. South Dakota 5. Wisconsin.


That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaazing !

Cenosillicaphobia is the fear of an empty glass.

Random Joke

You know what I can't stand about being drunk ? ...... UP



NEW RELEASE

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls... I present to you :-



The follow up to the award winning 'Tales of the Unaccepted'.
This time there are double the pages and double the twists...

I deal with a diverse number of subjects, such as....

The secret of Love...Vinegar ?
Networks... They are important, especially at 60,000 feet
What have magic and terrorism got in common ?
What if you ordered a ghost on Ebay but you couldn't open the packaging
How to get away with the perfect murder....a step too far ?

As usual there is a think, but pumping, vein of humour running through this release.

It may make you smile, it may make you think...it will make you shudder !!

On Amazon paperback and kindle now, we be released on other platforms soon..

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1717812686/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1531909384&sr=8-4&keywords=neville+raper


Do You Want To Be Published ?

Get Published !!



This is YOUR CHANCE to get your story or poem in print in a published book that you can hold, read and share. 

We currently support a Mental Health charity. In order to raise funds for them, they have asked if we could put a book together containg their poetry, stories about mental health and how it effects them and/or their families.
The books theme will be about mental health, depression, but that doesn't mean you need to submit writing about that subject (but it would help lol)

THERE IS NO CHARGE OR COST TO YOU AT ALL. We are confident that the sales will cover the set up cost that we will pay up front! We want nothing from you other than your writing. We would like to have this book ready by no later than November so we can get it out for Xmas ( How nice would it be to give a present of your writing to a loved one ) 

Simply send your work to 'talesoftheunaccepted@gmail.com'....Please feel free to share this, with your own friends list so that they may get this opportunity...We've all got a book in us, now is the time to see it in print.

If you have an idea, but it's not ready yet, just let us know and we will book a slot in the book for you...