Happy Saturday !!!

Hi all....

In today's Issue
A poem from the 'Pocket Rocket' Susan McCartney
Pubs 
Saturday's Advice Column with Mel O'Drama
Finish with a song

Here is Susan McCartney with a little ditty based upon a conversation she heard in a bar...

OVERHEARD IN A BAR!

‘I don’t have the personal bandwidth for that just now’……

Personal bandwidth! WTF?

You don’t have what?

Just what do you mean by that?

What is this verbal tat?

From a brainless prat?

I detect the mind of a gnat

Your words are not compliant

With those of a linguistic giant

You’ve got me thinking                                                                           

That your bandwidth is shrinking

Has your brain?

Been left in the rain?

Have you not got an ounce?

Of the relative nous?

Now let me see

Could it be?

That you can’t be arsed to try

Or your brain to apply

So you use this phrase to confuse

Listeners to bemuse?

Ah! I think I know the reason

For such uttered treason

Why is it such a crime?

To say you haven’t got the time!

Forgive my grumbling

At such senseless mumblings

But I prefer words more humdrum

To your inane conundrums

Let’s all have a cheer

For language that’s clear

And let’s ‘cock a snook’*

At such absurd gobbledegook

*an old fashioned saying meaning to ‘thumb one’s nose’

OKAY EVERYBODY THUMB ON NOSE AND WAGGLE THOSE FINGERS

AT GOBBLEDEGOOK

Sue has a new book of her poetry available now !

It's a fantastic collection of great poetry some funny, some poignant.

It's only £3.99 (including postage!) if you'd like a copy, simply contact me via the 'contact' button or drop me a line at:

neville.raper@gmail.com.

Ever wondered who has the most pubs ?

Here is the top 10 places with the most bars per 10,000 population.

10 - Amsterdam = 63

9 - Montreal = 68

8 - Edinburgh = 91

7 - Buenos Aries = 126

6 - Sao Poulo = 133

5 - Brussels = 148

4 - Madrid = 185

3 - Seoul = 186

2 - Rio De Janeiro = 191

1 - Tokyo = 216

Saturday's Advice Column with Mel O'Drama.

Hello, I'm standing in for Anne this week as she is off advising a certain President....no clues, but a big hint, she's taken lots of hair products.

I'm Mel O'Drama and I've been offering help and advice to

people for years, most don't want it, but they get it anyway !

This week I've received a letter from a lovely young man from London Town.

Dear Mel,

I wonder if you can help. I have two brothers, one is a politician the other is serving life in prison. My mother died fairly recently due to her terrible drug addiction and my sister is an exotic dancer.

I've now met a new girlfriend, the question is, should I tell her my brother is a politician?.

Yours

Montgomery Harbourbridge

Dear Monty,

No

Finish With a Song

This is a great song from Chumbawumba, if you're a reader from 

outside the UK, I urge you to give it play.....you'll be singing it

all week. This is 'Tubthumping' released in 1997 (20 years ago!)

IF YOU ENJOY, PLEASE SHARE !!