Saturday !

In today's Issue

The Serial Final Part
Dead or Alive
International Eat Your Vegetables Day
Help and Advice from Agony Aunt - Anne Tandek
Finish with a Song

Something New
I was asked recently to come up with a story suitable for
a specific magazine...

This is what I came up with, see if your can guess what kind
of magazine it was....

(by the way, Yeadon is a real place, from my home town)

The Garden of Yeadon

Neville Raper 2017

Then she emerged.

Sylvia, her red hair, like Medusa's snakes seemed to have a mind of its own. To me, it looked like she combed it with an egg whisk. Dungarees two sizes too big hung off her porcelain shoulders, rolled up at the knee to reveal boots issued by the artillery.

Round her neck hung beads in a myriad of colours; they reflected the light, and it danced as the baubles swayed and undulated to her movement.

Even thirty foot away I caught her scent, a mixture of warm intoxication with a hint of perspiration. It was sweeter than any rose I had ever smelt.

“Morning.”

I jumped out of my skin.

“Errrm Morning” Oh no I thought, she’s coming over!

And so she did, every part of her jiggling under that denim cover.

I’ve never been one of those men who can estimate people's ages, give me a tree, and I can age it in seconds, but women…. She may have been in her sixties; she may have been in her twenties, but I can tell you this, the youth she radiated would bronze anyone's soul in seconds.

She extended her hand; I could see mother earth had already invaded via her fingernails.

“I’m Sylvia”

I gave her my name, and we talked, or rather she talked, and I listened, hypnotised by her beads. I listened to her ideas for her plot, the fruits she would grow the life she would nurture. I looked at her lips as moist as the morning dew on my little gems. Her eyes as green as my beans.

She looked at my labours and marvelled at the size of my produce. She admitted that although she’s had success with fruit and flowers, she’d failed in vegetable production. I said I would be more than happy to help.

And, so I did, within weeks she’d had shown me how to grow beautiful blooms within my solid green, we shared a bed. She brought brightness to my mono colour plot. I, in turn, had pollinated her patch with tiny edible shoots of all types.

Finally, after our toils we planted a tree on our division line, which I must admit, was becoming more and more blurred. An apple tree. I had my Eve.

                                                                          End

Dead or Alive.,,,

You've got a 50/50 chance to get it right.
I'm going to give you a celebrity, simple question are they Dead or Alive.

Today's Celeb is Elizabeth Montgomery, star of the 60's sitcom "Bewitched" (and I had a massive
crush on her)

Simple question.....is she Dead or Alive ?

International Eat Your Vegetables Day

Today is the day we eat our vegetables.....except broccoli, the devils tiny trees...
So eat your favourite or go veggie for the day.

We should eat five a day, I try my best to have a least five peas..

Kids are shocking for not eating their veg. Recent studies seem to suggest the reason they
hate their greens is that its a defence and survival mechanisms, teaching humans not to grab dangerous plants, could be why children are reluctant to eat leafy, green vegetables.

Today's Advice From Anne Tandek

Hello, I am a recognised expert in the field of advice, all I have to do is look in the mirror and there I am.

I am always discreet and never disclose anyone's contact details when they write to me.

Today, I've had a letter from a lovely gent from Wales. Here is his letter...

Yakkida Anne,

Recently I've bought my son, Dai, an Action Man. He loves playing with him, but is complaining that he's not that realistic in his "Saving Ryan's Privates" game.

Can you advise boyo ?

Norman D Landings

Well Norm,

Yes I can of course help. Spaghetti bolognese spread over the Action Man's lower regions can make excellent blood and guts for an authentic badly wounded toy soldier.


Dead or Alive

Earlier I asked a question with a 50/50 answer.

Is Elizabeth Montgomery, star of the 60's sitcom "Bewitched", Dead or Alive.
Sadly, she died on 18th May 1995 at the fairly young age of 62.

Finish With a Song
Given that today's star is from Bewitched, here is a song from 
the Irish girl band B*witched.

This is C'Est La Vie released in 1998