Albert the Wonder Dog

In Today's Issue

Albert the Wonder Dog
Top 10 Dog Names in the UK
Random Joke of the Day
That's Amaaaaaaazing
Finish with a Song

Albert the Wonder Dog

This morning Albert, my 5 year old jack Russell woke me with his customary pirate call...
'Arghhhhhh'

The greeting seems to suit him, as it goes with his brown eye patch and parrot. OK I exaggerate about the parrot a bit....but you get my gist.

Recently he has taken to sneaking out of bed during the night and pooping in the bathroom.

I'm not sure if he thinks "Well he does it"

Obviously, he doesn't go in the actual toilet as that's his drinking fountain.

The problem is as I carry out my morning wee I of course stand in it. The wet brown stickiness oozes through my toes. Like very smelly fake tan.

I then hop and swear to get my foot in the shower. Luckily the previous owner had a rail installed which comes in very usefull as I balance. A ballerina dancing through shitty steps.

I have now informed Albert that in future I will be feeding him condoms on a night then at least on a morning his poo will be come out ready bagged.

Albert

My furry best pal

who sits on my lap

brown eared but mostly white

My little chap

he has an eyepatch

but sails no sea

apart from the ones

He build from his pee

he growls and he snarls

He barks and he yips

and when the postman arrives

its the apocalypse

He annoys me sometimes

when he barks at the telly

and when he lets one go

It's silent but smelly

But I love my little dog

despite all his crimes

Because without him in my life

It would no longer rhyme

Top 10 Dog Names in the UK


10 - Buddy

9 - Oscar

8 - Daisy

7 - Teddy

6 - Max

5 - Lola

4 - Charlie

3 - Alfie

2 - Poppy

1 - Bella

P.S

The Top 5 Most Popular Breed of Dog in the USA are :-

Labrador Retriever

Golden Retriever

German Shepherd

Beagle

Dachshund

Random Joke of the Day

Apparently last week I really offended my optician, he walked past me in town waved hello and I didn't see him.....well who's fault was that then ?!!

That's Amaaaaaaaaaazing

Corgi is Welsh for "Dwarf Dog"


Finish with a Song

Given the theme this is Hound Dog by Elvis released in 1956