In Today's Issue
International Tell a Joke Day
Stand up Poem
What make me laugh ?
Trivial Top 10, The Richest Stand Ups
Random Joke of the Day
Finish with a Song
International Tell a Joke Day
Hey lets get serious.... not....Today is the day to tell a joke, I've been known to tell a few.
I've performed stand up and have written humour for over 20 years now so I think I can tell a joke.
There is nothing like being able to make another person laugh, to change their mood and in effect modify their behaviour.
Too many times we underestimate the power of the comedian, their ability to string a sentence together that makes us laugh, but why do we laugh? what makes a joke funny.
Recently a scientist proved that jokes can all be broken into 8 patterns.
Alastair Clarke, a British evolutionary theorist, identified eight patterns which all jokes could fit into no matter where you come from in the world.
Mr Clarke came to his conclusions after studying more than 20,000 examples of humour through the ages, from a man breaking wind in the 14th century Miller's Tale by Geoffrey Chaucer to modern television sketch shows such as Little Britain.
All the humour could fit into the eight categories regardless of civilisation, culture or personal taste.
"While it may seem bizarre to some, these few patterns are the real stimulus that makes us laugh, regardless of the content of the sitcom we're watching or the funny story we're being told," said Mr Clarke, who is publishing his findings in a book.
He said the brain subconsciously seeks out the patterns and when it discovers them is rewarded for its efforts.
"Sometimes a single pattern is the cause but just as often combinations of two or three are recognised simultaneously," he said.
"Theoretically there is no limit to the number of patterns that may combine to make a person laugh."
The patterns include "positive repetition" such as Little Britain's "Only gay in the village" catchphrase and "scale" like the oversized features on caricatures in Spitting Image.
There is also "qualification" where a familiar word is said in an unfamiliar way. An example of this is Inspector Clouseau's accent in the Pink Panther films.
"Qualitative recontextualisation" is described as when something you know well is changed. An example of this is when you laugh at someone's new haircut.
"Application" is words having a double meaning.
The other three patterns are "completion" where the audience has to guess at, imagine or complete a phrase or scenario, "division" where a joke is broken up and told by different people and "opposition" which covers irony and sarcasm.
(source Telegraph)
But enough of the theory, lets get down to the practical :-
My Stand up Hand !
Stand up Poem
I went to the Dentist
He looked in my mouth
He told me the news
My teeth had gone south
He gave me the choice
Choose gold or some nickel
I made up my mind
To have cheese and pickle
When I was a boy
Of spooks was afraid
They’d plague my night
My dreams they’d invade
My mum to my room
Allaying my fears
Leave me alone
You've been dead 19 years
My granddad demised
Passed away in his sleep
A gentle way
For the reaper to reap
He did not cry
For his life he’d not bid
Unlike the way his passengers did
I got in a fight
What a terrible fuss
A big skinhead
As I got off the bus
He growled and he cursed
And furrowed his brow
Agoraphobic he was
He said inside right now!
Humpty Dumpty
Sat On a wall
Humpty Dumpty
Had a great fall
The build of the wall
Was quite Defect
He made 10 grand
With claims direct
If you don’t like this rhyme
Find the jokes such a crime
I’m deaf to your bleats
So stick with your Keats
The Top 10 Richest Comedians in the World
10. Sebastian Maniscalo: $15.0 Million
9. Jeff Dunham: $15.0 Million
#8. Terry Fator: $18.5 Million
#7. Jim Gaffigan: $30.5 Million
#6. Kevin Hart: $32.5 Million
#5. Amy Schumer: $37.5 Million
4. Dave Chappelle: $47.0 Million
#3. Louis C.K.: $52.0 Million
#2. Chris Rock: $57.0 Million
#1. Jerry Seinfeld: $69.0 Million
But who is the richest UK stand up in 2017 :-John Bishop - £7 Million
Customer Service: How does the name appear on your credit card? Me: 12 pt. Arial bold?
Finish with a Song.
This is the Divine Comedy with National Express, released in 1998
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