In Today's Issue
Rondeau ( again )
Sofa so good
Random Joke of the Day
That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing
Funny Fobia
The Thoughts of Chairman Anyhow
Finish with a Song
A Rondeau is a short poem consisting of fifteen lines that have two rhymes throughout. The first few words or phrase from the first line are repeated twice in the poem as a refrain.
The sofa calls me
to my rest
Like mewling babe
embraced by breast
Swallowed up encased in leather
Enveloped against
the weather
I have a home for
that I’m blessed
It is MY sofa I’m
no guest
Place for me
somewhere to tether
My safety sofa.
I sink myself into
headrest
Hide within when I
am stressed
Place to get
myself together
Stuffed with bird
death their own feathers
I leave a dent, am
I depressed
My safety sofa.
The word ‘sofa’ dates back to 2000BC Egypt and derives from the Arabic word ‘suffah’ (which loosely translates as ‘bench’).
Over it’s lifespan the average sofa will host around 782 visitors. That’s a lot of bums on seats!
It will also be witness to 293 arguments, but 1,369 cuddles.
Your sofa will be used 489 times as a bed – 293 of those nights on the sofa will be the result of a domestic disputes !
People sit on their sofa for an average of 4 hours each day.
We find on average £1.80 is lost down the back of the sofa every month. That equates to nearly £180 over the sofa’s lifetime.
We eat 13 meals a month on our sofas – that’s equates to 1,261 meals total.
The average sofa suffers 1,663 spillages over its lifetime. Wine will be spilt on it fortnightly, tea or coffee three times a week, and dinner six times a month.
If you have children, they will jump up and down on your long-suffering sofa 587 times.
You will watch roughly 782 movies whilst sitting on your sofa.
Random Joke of the Day
I've just made a movie about a Tea Bag, it'll be a PG
Men are 6 times more likely to be struck by lightning than women. ( God hates us !! )
FUNNY FOBIA
Cynophobia – The fear of dogs.
I'm terrified of Albert
The Thoughts of Chairman Anyhow
( Now available on Amazon )
Congratulations to Bodyform who have switched from blue liquid to red "blood" in their commercials to help overcome the stigma attached to periods and sanitary towels.
I can't wait for Andrex to follow suit by showing actual poo on toilet paper instead of puppies playing with it.
Finish with a Song - This is 'Sofa' Away by Dire Straits, Released in 1985.
Well done, Nev!!
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