Socks

In Today's Issue

Socks
Sock Facts??
Random Joke of the Day
Funny Fobia
That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing
The Thoughts of Chairman Anyhow

Socks

I love my socks

upon my feet

They make my

toes look really neat

They soak up sweat

or keep me warm

They smell so bad

like chloroform

Athletes foot

and verrucas sore

They disappear in my

black whole drawer

But worst of all

they're Albert's chew

and I have to pick them

out of his poo !!

Sock Facts??

FACT: Socks were invented by Sir Edmund Sock during the industrial revolution, as a means of selling thirty miles of tubular fabric produced by a broken spinning machine. Before Sir Edmund’s intervention, people simply wore sacks on their feet.

FACT: The world’s most expensive sock is the £30m Emperor Diamond Sock, woven with precious jewels and gold thread. It is – however – completely useless as its makers neglected to create a pair.

FACT: America’s leading sock manufacturer the Tupelo Sock Inc bit the dust after an ill-fated plan to sell socks in threes to give buyers an extra sock in case one got lost. Puzzled buyers just left them on the shelf causing one of the greatest sock business calamities of our modern age.

FACT: Punters are already queuing outside Apple Stores for the new iSock, which is set to revolutionise sock wearing. The company claims the iSock will wipe out the need for shoes, but critics say they’re just slippers with a £200 price tag.

FACT: To prevent losing socks, simply tie them to a 100 yard piece of rope. When they fall into an alternative dimension, just give the rope a sharp tug to pull your socks back.

FACT: The peak time for buying socks is ten minutes before the shops close on Christmas Eve. Many customers are unaware that socks are available to purchase all year round, from …Yep you guessed it .

FACT: Why have the following dead world leaders all got in common? Mao Tse-Tung – Adolf Hitler – Mu’ammar al-Qadaffi – Josef Stalin. WHITE SOCKS.

FACT: The billionaire Sultan of Brunei owns the world’s largest sock drawer, which is spread over three storeys of his mansion and has a staff of thirty.

Random Joke of the Day

I found someone’s wallet today, and as a good Christian I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I turned it into wine.

Funny Fobia - Uranophobia- ..... The fear of heaven

More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.

The Thoughts of Chairman Anyhow

A girl this morning asked me if I thought she was wearing too much makeup, I responded it all depends whether she was intending to kill Batman.

P.S - Keep watching for some important news

Thanks for reading !!