Stuffed

In Today's Overfed Issue

Stuffed
Mince Pie
That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaazing
Random Joke
Finish with a Song

If I see one more mince pie

I will just pop

I’ll just squeeze in a chocolate

Gawd I can't stop

Pigs in blankets,

sausage in rolls

Beef in wellingtons

Trifle in bowls

I've stuffed myself

Eaten for more than ten

I have to stop but next week,

Will do it again

I’ll be glad when the festivities

Are all done

The gas I’ve produced

Human popgun

I’ve learnt today that the

Average man

Breaks wind fourteen times

In a daily span

If you hold it in

And don’t let fly

There's a chance you’ll pop

Explode and then die

So enjoy your feast

Ignore the disquiet

For let's eat drink and be merry

For tomorrow we Die(T)

1. They used to be savoury

As the name might imply, once upon a time mince pies contained mincemeat mixed with alcohol, fruits and spices to help preserve it. As time went on, it became progressively sweeter until the mince was removed all together - but the name remained. 

2. They’re not actually British

While mince pies have been widely accepted as a British tradition, the idea actually started in the Middle East in the 13th Century. European crusaders returning to their homelands brought recipes that included meats, fruits and spices - which inspired the notion for a mince pie. 

3. They weren’t always called ‘mince pies’ 

Over the years, they’ve had a flurry of names including ‘shrid pies’ ‘Christmas pies’ ‘crib cakes’ and ‘mutton pies’. They were even called ‘wayfarers’ pies’ at one time, as they were given to visitors during the Christmas season. 

4. They can bring bad luck 

According to English tradition, superstition dictates that you must always stir clockwise when making mince pies. Apparently, stirring anti-clockwise will bring bad luck. 

5. They can bring good luck, too 

Apparently, if you eat a mince pie each day over the twelve day of Christmas - it brings good luck for the year ahead. How convenient. 

6. They can be eaten in bulk, by some 

The first ever mince pie eating competition was held in 2006. The winner - who holds this record to this day - got through 46 mince pies. 

7. They weren’t always so well-loved

During the English Civil War, the mince pie was frowned upon because of its link to Catholicism - and they were even banned at one point by Oliver Cromwell. Thankfully, his laws didn’t stick. 

8. They are symbolic

The cinnamon, cloves and nutmeg ingredients were included to represent the gifts given to Jesus by the three Eastern Kings. 

9. They weren’t always circular

Mince pies used to be cradle or ‘coffin’ shaped, which just meant rectangular at the time. 

10. They hold special powers, apparently

According to tradition, you must make a wish when eating your first mince pie of the season. It’s a bit late for us now, but maybe next year…  

The largest mince pie recorded was one of 1.02 tonnes (2,260 lb) and baked at Ashby-de-la-Zouch, Leicestershire, UK on 15 October 1932. Measures: 6.1 x 1.5 m (20 x 5 ft),

I've been watching far too much TV lately. My dreams have adverts in them now.

Finish with a Song

This is Don McLean with American (mince) Pie