Vignettes from a Hospital waiting room

Vignettes from a Hospital waiting room

In Today's Issue

Vignettes from a hospital waiting room
Did you know?
Random joke of the Day
That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaazing
Can I speak my mind ?

I have spent quite a lot of time in hospitals recently, here are some of my musings

Hospital Waiting Room

Blue and peach plastic chairs...calming colours.

I see a mountain of a man he breaths like he's in an aqualung

Eastern Europeans leave, they have the wrong clinic, given the Brexit mood they maybe soon looking for outpatients

I am warmed by an old school Dr in awhite coat.

A trolley of medical records rolls past....a mobile library ?

Blue and orange....X ray dept

Paper gowns for Xrays thought they would be polythene

I move departments, purple and cream chairs, pink walls with a blue stripe. Lawrence Luwellan Bowen would be sinning in his grave
, if he was dead. I preferred his Dad on Bullseye.

Evidence of smokers ex and existing all around.

Coffing dodgers coughing.

This clinic should offer earplugs.

Coughing codgers, the mexican wave of phlem.

Names on the surgery title - Dr Black, Dr Papa, Pat and Pat

Cheap coffee in big hearted cups served by Auntie Jean

Hypnotherapy in a dietician room, convincing people to eat sprouts?

Saga magazines from 1997, wonder if the people in them are dead?

Shouting out names a roll call register for the sick, like school but they've no excuse for absence.

Elisabeth Keller is called into retinal screening, historical irony?

Georgina White with a her genuine Michael Korrs bag from Turkey.

Old man walks out as he leaves he shouts 'take care'

Mary Bates small Chinese lady called in, wonder if that's her real name or her import title.

Radio in the background not loud enough to hear but enough to create annoyance.

Cheap NHS wheelchairs no comfort just function.

Sat next to a well dressed octogenarian with an earring, am I looking at my future?

Old lady informs me it's her birthday in June, it's September, wonder if she knows she missed it?

Everyone talks, it's like a day out.

I write with a British Legion Pen, I have no idea where I got it.

Names and dates of birth shouted out, a wet dream for an ID thief.

NHS is love. To care for a stranger. The NHS is a reflection of what society should be.

The tea lady sets up her biscuits with pride.

I move chairs to eavesdrop more, see them whisper, and wonder what is my affliction?

Someone 'push me, pulls me' the disabled toilet door, the handle rattles with building panic.

The nurse calls an old grey man in a wheelchair, 'darling' his face lights up. When was he last called that?

Did you know? Hospitals

1. The creator of Peter Pan gave the rights to Great Ormand Street Children's Hospital so they would always collect the royalties and fund the hospital.

2. Some hospitals keep a supply of beer for alcoholics in case they go through withdrawal (which can be fatal). Some hospitals even have beer cans with prescription labels. 

3. In a study to improve hospital design for children, researchers polled 250 children regarding their opinions on clowns and every single one of them reported disliking or fearing them.

4. For one day in 1940, a section of a hospital in Ottawa, Canada became international territory so that a Dutch Princess could be born a full Dutch citizen (a requirement to be a Dutch Princess). Every year the Netherlands sends Canada a gift of tulips to show their gratitude. 

5. It was common for hospitals in Germany to have a brewery. Patients used to get a beer before going to bed. 

In 2009, a retired policeman called Geraint Woolford was admitted to Abergale Hospital in north Wales and ended up next to another retired policeman called Geraint Woolford. The men weren’t related, had never met and were the only two people in the UK called Geraint Woolford. 

7. In 2012, a Texas Hospital billed a woman $4800 after she was in an accident. Once the hospital found out that she received an insurance settlement, they sent her a new bill for $20,000+ and filed a lien against her property to get it. 

8. British Rail once held up a train for 20 minutes so that a distraught man could get to his mother in hospital before she died. 

9. 25 hospitals in North America and Europe have visual messages strategically placed near the ceilings in operating rooms. These messages are only visible when read from above, and are part of an on-going study to test the validity of people claiming to have ‘out of body’ experiences.

10. Last year, a 66-year-old Chinese man went to the hospital because of stomach pain, only to discover that he had been a woman his whole life and that his stomach pain was caused by a large, benign ovarian cyst.

Random Joke of the Day 

R.I.P Boiling water. You will be mist.

The most popular item in Walmart's stock, is banana's, they sell more than of these than anything else.

Can I Speak My Mind ?

New Release - 

Can I Speak My Mind is a collection of short stories and poetry written by, for and about people who have been affected by mental health issues.

Some of the pieces are heartbreaking, some are hopeful, some are even funny…but what they all are is honest.

All profits from the sale of this book will go to mental health charities.

By buying this anthology you have contributed to people who go that extra mile to help sufferers in the community. These groups volunteer selflessly. Your money will help them to continue providing much needed support.

So well done you, you are a hero.

Here is a link to the Amazon page - 

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Can-I-Speak-My-Mind/dp/1728787599/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1541082559&sr=8-4&keywords=can+I+speak+my+mind 

Can I Speak My Mind

Neville Raper is a Broadcaster, Poet, Author, Playwriter and a blogger. He is an occasional stand up, regular sit down.

His award winning books can be found on Amazon, Kobo, Barnes Noble and Kindle.