Happy Middle of The Week Wednesday.....

In today's Issue :-

The Serial - Hat Box - Part 3
International No Tobacco Day
Breaking the Law or Faking the Law ?
Tobacco Facts
Answer
Finish With a Song

NEW.....Serial

Recently I was approached by my local museum to provide a piece regarding their
collection of vintage hats. They wanted something to use on their web site and with
the display.

I came up with a little story.

Rather than publishing it on here in one big chunk.
I've decided to break it down to short manageable pieces so you
can enjoy a brief read.

Hope you enjoy.....

Hat Box

by Neville Raper

May 2017

Part 3

..........Rob snatched off the boater; reality snapped back into full fact focus. He reached up and touched his face; it was covered in a thick layer of dust. Rob used his T-Shirt to rub some of it off.

He must have bumped his head, he thought, although he wasn’t aware of losing consciousness. The irony of this wasn’t lost on himself.

He moved and removed the lid of another box. This time it revealed a bright yellow helmet. He picked it up in his hands. It was a fireman’s helmet; it looked like it was from the second world war. Once again, it seemed new, unused. 

The visor was clear with no scratches, and the leather straps used to attach to the head smelled clean and freshly tanned.

Rob hesitated but wanted to ensure that what just happened with the boater was just dust in his eyes and a bang to the head. He slid it on.

Immediately, the smell of acrid dense smoke filled his lungs; he retched into his mouth. He felt an intense heat. Looking down, he saw the hairs on his arms and legs shrivel and oxidise on his skin. They broke off and mixed with the dust.

Rob felt his clothes tighten, the material within them reacting to the temperature.

He couldn’t see anything. The smoke was a black hole eating oxygen and light in equal measure. He looked at his hands and was terrified to see blisters starting to form. 

As he stared, one popped, and viscous fluid ran down his wrist. He’d seen and endured enough. Struggling, Rob felt the strap melting into his chin. He scratched and clawed, managed to get his nails underneath and threw the helmet off. 

To his disgust,he could see tendrils of his charred skin follow it.......

INTERNATIONAL NO TOBACCO DAY

Every day, we see them huddled in the rain and the cold, bent over a cigarette.

The stench gets into their clothes and hair, stains their teeth brown, and pollutes the air around them. 

(Can you guess I don't smoke )

No Tobacco Day is dedicated to those who are determined to leave this horrible substance behind them, and encourage others to do so as well.

Just think of the money you will save !!

BREAKING THE LAW OR FAKING THE LAW

Another quick quiz..... Going to give you a law it it a real law ( Breaking the Law ) or

have I made it up ( Faking the Law )

In York, excluding Sundays, it is perfectly legal to shoot a Scotsman with a bow and arrow. 

FACTS ABOUT SMOKING 

About 40 per cent of men worldwide smoke as compared with nearly 9 per cent of women.

One person dies every six seconds due to tobacco.

Tobacco use is the second cause of death globally (after hypertension) and is currently responsible for killing one in 10 adults.

In the developing world, tobacco consumption is rising by 3.4% per year. About 15 billion cigarettes are sold daily - or 10 million every minute. About 12 times more British people have died from smoking than from World War II.

Although accurate butt facts are rare, that's an average of less than two cigarette butts daily from each of earth's 1.2 billion smokers, just 13% of the estimated 15 billion filtered cigarettes being smoked each day.

The country with the heaviest smokers, per capita - China.

BREAKING THE LAW - ANSWER.....

Did you work it out....??

In York, excluding Sundays, it is perfectly legal to shoot a Scotsman with a bow and arrow. 

So is it Faking the law ? or Breaking the law ?

IT'S TRUE !! - Breaking The Law..... But only with a bow and arrow !!

Well that's it for today....

See you tomorrow..

Finish with a song..... This is Smokie ( get it ? )

Living Next Door to Alice

Released in 1976 ( 41 years ago !!! )

Tuesday,

In Today's Issue

The Serial - Hat Box - Part 2
Dead or Alive
International Water a Flower Day.
Flowers
Answer

Something NEW.....

Recently I was approached by my local museum to provide a piece regarding their
collection of vintage hats. They wanted something to use on their web site and with
the display.

I came up with a little story.

Rather than publishing it on here in one big chunk.
I've decided to break it down to short manageable pieces so you
can enjoy a brief read.

Hope you enjoy.....

Hat Box

by Neville Raper

May 2017

Part 2

The whole wall collapsed upon him, buried in storage,  as if this wasn’t bad enough,  a split second later, the dust followed it..........

Rob laid where he was for a few minutes, waiting for any injury to manifest itself.  After feeling no real pain, or the wetness of blood, he sat up.He checked himself, particularly his bare legs below his old cargo shorts.To his relief, the boxes all appeared to be as light as the first and fell off him easily.

One of the cardboard containers had tipped over, and the contents had fallen out. A hat.

Rob picked it up and looked at it. A straw boater in excellent condition, in fact, it looked almost new.

The straw woven into the construction was bright and fresh with an aroma of sweetness. The band that ran around the crown was bright blood red. The hat showed no sign of age.

Rob did what most people would do in this situation; he popped it on. Immediately, he felt a shift in his equilibrium. A smell of wet vegetation assaulted his senses, and he could hear the drone of summer insects close to his ears.

His arms ached from exertion, and a trickle of sweat ran down his back. Rob looked into his hands and could see the shadow of something substantial there. He squinted and could make out what appeared to be handles of oars.

He felt the resistance of liquid weight,ebbing and flowing. Suddenly a voice made him start. Another shadow manifested itself about two metres away. The image wavered and wained like the water he could feel flowing past his arms. He focused, and beautiful young woman crept into view. Like a portrait looked at through a rain soaked window, she seemed to warp and run.

“Oh Bertie, what a wonderful day for an aquatic adventure”.

Rob snatched off the boater; reality snapped back into full fact focus. He reached up and touched his face; it was covered in a thick layer of dust. Rob used his T-Shirt to rub some of it off.........

Part 3 tomorrow...

Dead or Alive

Another little quiz for you.....

Here's someone quite famous....

50/50 chance, are they Dead or Alive ??

Today its Windsor Davies.

Windsor a British actor who is best known for playing the part of Battery Sergeant Major Williams in the British sitcom It Ain't Half Hot Mum.

Born 28 Aug 1930.

Simple Question.....is Windsor... DEAD OR ALIVE ?? ( answer below )

International Water a Flower Day

Yay ! though given the UK climate, we tend to have nature do this for us...... every day !

The best way to celebrate Water a Flower Day is by giving all of your household and garden plants a lovely drink. Scientific studies show that gently stroking them promotes growth... I sing to mine.

I must admit, I'm not a great gardener, when I bought tulips, I wondered what wattage they were.....

Flower Facts...

In 17th Century Holland, Tulip bulbs were more valuable than gold! The flower symbolized immortality, life and love. In 1630’s a kind of frenzy for tulips occurred in Western Europe named “Tulip mania” and tulips became so expensive as to be treated as a form of currency.Tulips lifespan is very short, being 3 to 7 days.

Gas Plant or the Burning Bush as it is sometimes called, earned it's name because it's leathery green leaves, flowers and seed pods give off a strong lemon scented vapor which, on a calm summer night can be ignited with a match

Flowers of bamboo are rarely seen. Some species of bamboo develop flowers after 65 or 120 years. Interesting fact about flowering is that all plants of one bamboo species develop flowers at the same time, no matter where they are located in the world.

The lotus was considered a sacred flower by ancient Egyptians and was used in burial rituals. This flower blooms in rivers and damp wetlands, but may lie dormant for years during times of drought, only to rise again with the return of water. Egyptians viewed it as a symbol of resurrection and eternal life. While others view the flower as a symbol of beauty, grace, purity and serenity.

The Agave, also known as the century plant spends many years without growing any flowers, after which it grows one single bloom and dies.This phenomenon is called being monocarpic. 

Roses are related to apples, raspberries, cherries, peaches, plums, nectarines, pears and almonds.

Titan Arum are the world’s largest flower; the circumference of their huge flowers can be over three metres and they stand three metres high with a single leaf able to grow to the size of a small tree. Due to its horrible smell of rotten flesh, it is also known as corpse flower. 

Dead or Alive.

Today's star is Windsor Davies.

I asked a simple question...... is Windsor,,,,, DEAD OR ALIVE ??

Did you get it ??

Windsor is alive and well at 86 !

Well that's it..

see you tomorrow for part 3 of Hat Box

I leave you with a song.

Windsor Davies and Don Estelle

Whispering Grass Released in 1975 !! 

42 Years Old !!! eeeeeeek

I'm BAAAAAAAAACK !!
Hope you are all fit and well this fine Monday Morning.

In today's issue...

Serial
Happy International Biscuit Day
Question Impossible
Trivial Top 10
Answer !!

Something NEW.....

Recently I was approached by my local museum to provide a piece regarding their
collection of vintage hats. They wanted something to use on their web site and with
the display.

I came up with a little story.

Rather than publishing it on here in one big chunk.
I've decided to break it down to short manageable pieces so you
can enjoy a brief read.

Hope you enjoy.....

Hat Box

by Neville Raper

May 2017

Part One 

Rob felt like Howard Carter at the tomb of Tutankhamun, except right now, instead of sand, it was mainly dust he was sweeping away.

The door to the walk-in cupboard was stiff, probably hadn't been opened in years.

This wasn't unusual to Rob; he’d been in the house clearance business for about ten years.

This property had been empty a while, although it was hard to estimate how long. Rob considered anywhere between two and two thousand years.

Rob pulled at the door handle; the hinges shrieked in indignation.

The interior was gloomy, to his left was a pull cord connected to an ancient looking Bulb. “There’s no way this will work” he muttered to himself. To his complete surprise, it burst into light, instant sun in the confined cupboard.

“Made to last” he chuckled.

He was confronted by a stack of identical cardboard boxes. Each a dirty brown colour and about twenty inches square.  Stacked from floor to ceiling, a wailing wall of storage.

There were no markings on them, completely anonymous.

Whoever had put them there had made a great job of arranging them, boxy brickwork.

Rob eyed them up and down; he reached up and forced his finger tips either side of one of the highest boxes. He pulled it gingerly towards himself. He knew by painful experience to be careful when moving such, mystery, containers.

Too many times in the past he’d come a cropper when the contents had been much heavier than he’d expected. He’d lost count how many times he’d woken up, on the floor confused, with a bump on his head.

To his delight, the box felt light, he pulled. 

Everything he saw next was in exquisite slow motion. The whole cardboard construction fell in an avalanche of organisation. He was sure that when the boxes fell they left behind a perfect shadow of dust suspended in the air, a dirty negative.

The whole wall collapsed upon him, buried in storage,  as if this wasn’t bad enough,  a split second later, the dust followed it.........

Part Two tomorrow......

Happy International Biscuit Day

Hi there all you cookie monsters ! It's international Biscuit Day.

In American biscuits are small crusty bread rolls, served at breakfast or as a side dish. However, in the UK, the word “biscuit” is used for flat sweet treats which are known as “cookies” in the US. 

So celebrate by settling down with a cup of tea or coffee and enjoy !

Question Impossible

This is where I set you an "impossible" question....you won't

get it, unless you cheat, and let's face it, everyone does....

Which Country Drinks The Most Beer ( per capita )

Answer further down......

Today, as it's international biscuit day, we look at the UK's
Top 10 favourite biscuits....

10 - Chocolate Fingers ( I know a dirty joke about these ! ) 

9 - Chocolate Bourbon ( Blurgh...not a fan )

8 - Ginger Nut ( Ron Weasley ?? )

7 - Digestive ( or suggestive )

6 - Chocolate Chip Cookie ( The American Invasion !! )

5 - Jaffa Cake ( errrrrrrm there's a clue in the name !! )

4 - Shortbread ( Och eye the noooo )

3 - Custard Cream .....( and a lay down in a darkened room )

2 - Chocolate Hobnob ... Comedy Name..

1 - Chocolate Digestive ......Do you dunk ?

Question Impossible

Which Country Drinks The Most Beer ( per capita )

Answer -

 Czech Republic
142.6 litres a person !!

Bet you thought it was the UK !!

We came 28th......( booooooo )

Well that's it for today.

See you tomorrow....

Remember, LIKE, SHARE, SUBSCRIBE

I'll finish with a biscuit song....

"Club" Tropicana !!

By Wham, released in 1983 !! 34 years ago....how old do

you feel now ????

The Game is Afoot !!
Happy Monday, International Sherlock Holmes Day

In today's Issue

International Sherlock Holmes Day

A Sherlock Poem

Facts About Holmes

Trivial Top 10

The World's most famous detective. Also the most portrayed character in history. Who is it? Of course, by a matter of deduction we've detected it's....Sherlock Holmes ! Any self-respected detective would have worked it out! 

The uber consulting detective, Sherlock Holmes has been a hero since his creation in the 1800's. So of course he deserves his very own day.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the author of the Sherlock Holmes stories, says the character was originally inspired by Joseph Bell, a surgeon at the Royal Infirmary of Edinburgh for whom Doyle had worked as an assistant. 

Like Holmes, Bell was famous for his ability to draw broad conclusions from minute observations. Francis “Tanky” Smith, a policeman and master of disguise who was Leicester’s first private detective, is also thought to have influenced the character. Doyle’s first Sherlock Holmes story first appeared in print in 1887 and continued to be published for the next forty years, until shortly before the author’s death. During this time, the detective had countless adventures, usually accompanied by his loyal friend and assistant, Dr. Watson.

An Original Poem About Holmes :-

Interesting Facts About Sherlock Holmes

The only fictional character portrayed in more films than Sherlock Holmes is Dracula.

–– ADVERTISEMENT ––

Sherlock Holmes Baffled was his first film, a 30-second silent spoof made in the US in 1900.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, creator of Sherlock Holmes, was also a ship’s surgeon, a boxer, Deputy Lieutenant of Surrey and a first-class cricketer.

He was also responsible for popularising skiing in Switzerland.

Conan Doyle chose the name Sherlock in honour of Nottingham cricketers Sherwin and Shacklock. Originally it was Sherringford Holmes.

Conan Doyle played 10 first-class matches for the MCC. His batting average was 19.25 but his only wicket as a bowler was that of WG Grace.

In the 1969 Oxford-Cambridge chess match, players named Holmes and Watson both won their games for Oxford.

Holmes often said “elementary” and “My dear Watson” but never “Elementary my dear Watson.”

The Sherlock Holmes Museum, officially at 221b Baker Street, London, is actually at number 239.

Dr Watson’s first name is John but his wife calls him James in The Man With the Twisted Lip.

Trivial Top 10

The Top 10 Portrayals Of Sherlock Holmes

10. Ellie Norwood

Norwood played Holmes in 47 silent films ! He was the first actor to bring Holmes from the page and onto film.

9. Nicholas Rowe

Nicholas Rowe was the star of the 1985 Steven Spielberg movie Young Sherlock Holmes.

8. Tom Baker

A year after leaving Doctor Who, Baker was invited to play Holmes by his former producer Barry Letts. The 1982 BBC television production of The Hound Of The Baskervilles, 

7. Arthur Wontner

Arthur Wontner won the role of Holmes having played Sexton Blake, a character seen as a flattering imitation of the Baker Street detective. Wontner earned appreciation from staunch Holmes experts, including Conan Doyle’s wife.

6. Douglas Wilmer

Douglas Wilmer became the first television Sherlock Holmes when the BBC produced The Speckled Band in 1964.

5. Robert Downey Jr

Over the course of two Guy Ritchie films, Sherlock Holmes (2009) and Sherlock Holmes: A Game Of Shadows (2011), the magnetic personality of Robert Downey Jr has allowed his rather crass, cynical, yet likeable portrayal of the master detective to be enjoyed by cinema-goers across the world.

4. Peter Cushing

Although Peter Cushing first portrayed Holmes in the 1959 Hammer version of The Hound Of The Baskervilles, he is perhaps better remembered for the 16-episode, 1968 BBC series, Sir Arthur Conan-Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes, when he replaced Douglas Wilmer as the Baker Street sleuth. Even as late as 1984, Cushing appeared as Holmes in the TV movie The Masks Of Death.

3. Basil Rathbone

Arguably the actor most commonly identified with Sherlock Holmes on film, Sir Basil Rathbone made 14 Sherlock Holmes movies between 1939 and 1946, creating the deerstalker and cape look in the process.

2. Benedict Cumberbatch

Star of the current BBC series Sherlock, Benedict Cumberbatch is Holmes for the 21st century.

1. Jeremy Brett

The sorely-missed Jeremy Brett was a genuine one-off – an actor of immense skill and intense personality. In 1984 Granada television, fresh from the success of The Jewel In The Crown, produced an equally superb television adaptation of Sherlock Holmes. Supported first by David Burke and then Edward Hardwicke, both intelligent and thoughtful as Watson, Jeremy Brett made Sherlock Holmes so much his own that any fresh television adaptation would have to approach Conan Doyle’s work from a very different direction.

Well that's it for today. I'll be back Friday, as I'm having a break. I'll send you all a postcard !!!

Finish with a song. Today it's "Watching The Detectives" by Elvis Costello, released in 1977 !!