International Bad Poetry Day

International Bad Poetry Day

In Today's Issue

International Bad Poetry Day
A Bad Poem
Trivial Top 10
Random Joke of the Day
That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing



International Bad Poetry Day

Bad Poetry Day is a day to create some really bad prose. 

But, why you say?
Do we have such a day

I think its just
because we can
And make us all
A "good" poetry fan

So why not try
to write your own
but don't be boring
and make us yawn

So celebrate this
bad poetry day
but like what you mean
and mean what you say !


So celebrate, write a poem.... It might be great !!

A Bad Poems

Some might say all my poetry is bad !!

Rose are red
Violets are Blue
Bacon is yummy
and so are you
it's just a shame I'm Jewish.....

I wandered lonely as a cloud
Then rained on you
B@stard

How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways
I've got to 3, but I don't think you'll go for 69

Top 10 Types of Poetry

1. Free Verse

Not to be mixed up with blank verse, free verse is poetic form/technique where the poet does not follow the conventions of any meter or rhyme.

2. Haiku

This is the only poem that rivals free verse these days. People love the Haiku. It’s a 3 line poem generally where first and last lines have 5 syllables, and the middle has seven syllables.

3. Sonnet

There are various forms of sonnets, but the most popular tends to be the English or Shakespearean sonnet. It is a 14 line poem written in iambic pentameter. The poem will end in a rhyming couplet. There are much more to these of course, but this is the general definition. There is also the Italian or Petrarchan sonnet. The English sonnet seems to be the most attempted.

4. Blank Verse

This is basiclly a poem written in Iambic pentameter but it does not rhyme. It can follow other meter, but Iambic pentameter is the most common by far.

5. Limerick

A Limerick is at it’s core (and there is more too them) a 5 line poem that follows a strict meter and always has a AABBA rhyme scheme.

6. Tanka

Related in a sense to the Haiku,  the Tanka poem is basically a poem that has 5,7,5,7,7 for it’s lines. So it’s basically a Haiku with 2 seven syllable lines added on to the end.

7. Cinquain

At it’s very base this is simply a 5 line poem. So The Tanka above falls into this classification, but the most popular Cinquain that people want you to write when you say, Let’s write a cinquain is generally in English that follows a rhyme scheme of ababb, abaab or abccb.

8. Sestina

It’s probably easier to write a sestina than it is to explain how to write one. So its a six stanza of six lines each with a triplet at the end. Each stanza has the same 6 words at the end of each line of the poem. So basically the words that end the lines fo the first stanza are rotated over and over again at the end of the lines of the next stanza.

9. Villanelle

Here is another poetic, but it’s not easy to explain nor easy to write. The most famous one of these is Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Night by Dylan Thomas. The form is basically a 19 line poem that has five 3 line stanzas. The first line of the poem and the last line of the first stanza becomes a refrains (repeated) again and again until the last stanza. Basically, line 1, 3 become beginning and ending lines of all the other stanzas.

10. Acrostic

This is a simple poetry form, newer than the rest on this page. The Acrostic is basically a poem that uses the up and down letters of a poem to spell a word or phrase. So the first letter of each line could be pulled out to spell a word.

Random Joke of the Day

I couldn't believe it today when my son came home with two armchairs and a settee. I've told him a million times, never accept suites from strangers.

That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing

All humans are 99.9% genetically identical and 98.4% of human genes are the same as the genes of a chimpanzee. The genetic similarity between a human and a cat is 90%, with a mouse 85%, a dog 84%, a cow 80%, a pumpkin 75%, a banana 60% and with a cabbage 57%.

Flash Fiction

Flash Fiction

Flash Fiction
300 Words
That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing
Random Joke
Word
Horoscopes for the week

Flash fiction is fictional work of extreme brevity, that still offers character and plot development, including the Six-Word Story, 140-character stories, also known as "twitterature", the "dribble" (50 words), the "drabble" , also known as "microfiction"(100 words),^["sudden fiction" (750 words), flash fiction (1000 words), nanotales and "micro-story".Some commentators have also suggested that some flash fiction possesses a unique literary quality, e.g. the ability to hint at or imply a larger story.

I was asked to come up with something in 300 
words and was given the prompt of 'wedding dress'. 
This is what I came up with.


300 Words

“Filthy dirty cheating bitch.” I look at our wedding photo. How good did we look, she in her 
Grandmother’s old dress, me in full dress uniform. We were full of promise, hope and 
potential, the American dream. Then we crashed, the bankers gambled with our money 
and lost. The Men on the hill told us cuts must be made; we must tighten our belts. 
Them in their five hundred dollar suits and ten dollar tans. The army let me go to help the
economy, I’d done my duty and was dismissed. Ejected like an empty shell. No jobs, all 
I could do was kill, not a skill admired in this civilised town. 


So I drank, and she stayed away. I’d checked her phone and saw the messages.
Love letters in fifty characters, the sender given a fake name to hide in her address book. 
The enemy always hides.I find her dress of vows and veils and burn it. Confetti flecks
of husband and wife ash float into the sky.

I bet they all knew; this is a small town, everyone knows everyone. Her parents, the
bastards sour at our lack of offspring they would be supporting the adultress. 
All laughing at the used useless man. I’d make her pay; I’d make them all pay. 
I was always good at my job. I kiss the flag, cheap; China made, the ink comes off on
my lips, red, the blood of my country.

I hear their voices rejoicing in union, exalting a God who spits on them from high. 
The things I saw on the battlefield would make them denounce him instantly.
 I fought for them; I bled for them, they will bleed for me.


I feel the M16 in my hands, flick to full auto and step into the church.

Legend has it that Ernest Hemingway won a bet by writing the six-word story “For sale: baby shoes. Never worn.” Hoping to cash in on that story's success, Hemingway wrote some six-word sequels.

Random Joke

My wife's leaving me because of my obsession with auctions. She's going once....going twice......( or going going gone )

Word...

MATUTOLYPEA - the state of being ill-tempered in the morning

This weeks Extremely Accurate Horoscopes With  Paul T Gyce

Hello, I've been expecting you. My name is Paul T Gyce I have been an astrologer to the stars for over 70 years which is a testament to my skills as I'm 55.

Sit back and wonder how accurate my predictions will be for you, this coming week !!

Aries March 21 – April 20

This week you will meet a tall dark handsome man, unfortunately, he doesn't 

like you.

Your lucky stone this week is Sharon.

Taurus April 21 – May 21

DUCK ! RIGHT NOW DUCK, QUICKLY...

Too late. 

Your lucky colour, now, is red

Gemini May 22 – June 21

Once again, being a Gemini you are in 2 minds, both are in agreement that

you need a haircut, but only on one head.

Lucky Animal - Push Me Pull Me

Cancer June 22 – July 23

MMMM........crab......

Lucky Sauce - Seafood

Leo July 24 – Aug 23

This week you will feel caged, Remember pride comes before a fall,

The mane thing is try to avoid puns.

Your Lucky Food is Zebra

Virgo Aug 24 – Sep 23

Virgo's are brilliant and this week everything will be brilliant because you are so great.

Everyone loves you and you deserve it. If you're not a Virgo... then tough.

Your lucky thing this week is every thing !!

Libra Sept 24 – Oct 23

Libra's are quite astute and will have probably, by now, worked out what star sign

I am. This week you will be asked to weigh something.

Lucky Clothing - A bra...

Scorpio Oct 24 – Nov 22

My ex was a Scorpio and I've never met a nice one. They are fundamentally evil people and will do everything in their power to make sure they get the house, car and your collection of "specialist" video's.... I mean what does she need with 48 video's on ermmmm my hobby. Well I tell you two can play that game, I'm keeping her underwear, It fits me better than her anyway.

Famous Scorpio's 

Crippin

Adolf Hitler

Vlad The Impaler

Danny La Rue

Sagittarius Nov 23 – Dec 22

Just what is a Sagittarius ? I mean I get the rest, animals, things, but this ??? nope.

Any ways, no idea what's going to happen to you as I have no idea what you are.... Oh, sometime this week you will breath.

Lucky Word - Meh !

Capricorn Dec 23 – Jan 20

This week, just like a goat you will over eat. Just try not to eat underwear some of that stuff is really expensive.

Lucky Saying - Who ate all the pies.

Lucky Number - 3.14159265359

Aquarius Jan 21 – Feb 19

By now I'm getting a bit tired, the spirits running through me are becoming dry. I need fluid, and ironically this is your sign. This week you will be rained on.

Lucky Fluid - Rain

Pisces Feb 20 – March 20

Why is it that Pisces is always last on the list, I mean it doesn't make any sense, the year begins with January so shouldn't it start with Capricorn ?

It's all barmy really, Anyways the constellation says that this week you will

find yourself in a room and forget why you went in there for in the first place. Don't worry you're not losing it, it's already gone.

Lucky Dating Site - Plenty Of Fish

International Middle Child Day

In Today's Issue

International Middle Child Day
Our Keith
Middle Child Facts
That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing
Random Joke of the Day
Tales to Unravel

I'm a middle child sooooooooo - August 12 is Middle Child Day, a day to recognise middle born children and to acknowledge their place in their families.

Many believe that the order of one’s birth can affect one’s personality. The middle child, or second born of three siblings, is said to suffer from middle child syndrome, a feeling of isolation and exclusion within the family.

Some studies have shown that in a family with multiple children, the oldest and the youngest get the most attention from their parents while those in between tend to be left by themselves, often ignored and forgotten. Middle children often have to fight for the attention of their parents and may sometimes feel like they do not belong to the family.

Independent and Creative

Being a middle child, however, isn't all that bad. Research has shown that being left alone to their own devices can actually be a positive thing for middle children. The fact they may not receive as much attention as their siblings, some studies suggest, can make them independent and creative. The lack of expectations can also help them develop their personality and life skills without any external constraints.

The unofficial holiday with unknown origins is also sometimes called National Middle Child Day and International Middle Child Day.

Our Keith is a thief

He’s taken my socks

He is very sneaky,

Unorthodox

He’s worked out a way

To sneak in my room

By dressing as mum

In a girly costume

But I know it's him

I’m nobody's fool

Coz I stole his knickers

And took them to school

Our Keith is a thief

A terrible creature

But I’ll get revenge

I’ll tell the teacher

I’m going to class

To expose this transgressor

I’ll get the school

To see this crossdresser 

Being a middle child can be tough. We don’t get to be the cute baby of the family, and we can never get away with anything. But being in the middle doesn’t mean that we are boring; in fact, the truth is far from that. The middle child is often the strongest of them all. They are creative, interesting and they can handle pressure well – and they are really, really good at sharing things.

Here are 15 things that only a middle child would know.

1. We are open-minded and we see the world through different perspectives

As children we saw the world through both of our sibling’s eyes as well as our own, which taught us to be open-minded and empathetic.

2. We are responsible

The oldest child makes the first mistakes and the middle child watches it happen. This taught us that actions have consequences, and that it is important to be responsible.

3. We were occasionally ignored

The middle child is often used to not being noticed, as they were overshadowed by their siblings. This means we don’t care much about being in the spotlight, and we enjoy focusing on other people’s achievements.

4. We are happy to go with the flow

Our siblings were always fighting over what game we should play, and as the middle child we were expected to make a decision, even though if we weren’t interested in playing. These tensions taught us to be relaxed and to go with the flow, shaping us as people.

5. We embrace our personalities

Rather than wanting to fit in, we wanted to stand out – just like our other siblings. Our siblings taught us that standing out makes you more noticeable, so we embraced all of our quirks and interesting personality traits.

6. We are fair and reasonable

We saw our oldest sibling being punished for small things like missing a curfew, and we saw our youngest sibling get away with nearly everything. This gave us a strong sense of justice, and often the middle child is the most fair and reasonable sibling.

7. We didn’t always get praised

We always had an older sibling who set the bar high, and our younger siblings were praised for virtually anything. The middle child had to earn praise with strengths and skills, teaching us the benefits of hard work.

8. We have interesting personalities

The middle child has to work to get their parent’s attention – and the easiest way to do this is to have a great personality. We always had interesting facts and funny stories to tell, and as adults we are great socializers.

9. We felt both younger and older as children

One day we were hanging in the park with our cool older sibling, and the next day we were brushing Barbie’s hair with the youngest sibling.

10. We are good negotiators

The middle child isn’t the baby of the family or the mature child, so we couldn’t rely on our cuteness or matureness to get things. Instead we became expert negotiators. Now we are great at arguing, but we also know when to be patient and when to back down.

11. We know how to fight for what we want

Nothing was handed to the middle child easily. We fought and argued to have our turn with the TV remote, and we grew up to be strong adults who know how to fight for what we want.

12. We can stand up for ourselves

The middle child is used to being between sibling fights, and often our siblings tried to force us to take a side. This taught us to stay out of the drama while standing up for ourselves.

13. We are diplomatic

Whenever the other siblings fought, the middle child was always there to help resolve the situation. Now we are great at peace-making – and we have our siblings to thank for it.

14. We know how to share

Whenever the middle child got a new toy, there was always another sibling clamouring to play with it. We became used to hand-me-downs, and we learned to love sharing – the most important things aren’t material, anyway.

That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing

Vassilyev and his first wife hold the record for the most children a couple has parented. She gave birth to a total of 69 children – sixteen pairs of twins, seven sets of triplets and four sets of quadruplets – between 1725 and 1765, in a total of 27 births.

RANDOM JOKE OF THE DAY

I’ve just started reading my first ever Braille horror story. I think that something scary is about to happen… I can just feel it...

Tales to Unravel

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls... I present to you :-

The follow up to the award winning 'Tales of the Unaccepted'.
This time there are double the pages and double the twists...

I deal with a diverse number of subjects, such as....

The secret of Love...Vinegar ?
Networks... They are important, especially at 60,000 feet
What have magic and terrorism got in common ?
What if you ordered a ghost on Ebay but you couldn't open the packaging
How to get away with the perfect murder....a step too far ?

As usual there is a think, but pumping, vein of humour running through this release.

It may make you smile, it may make you think...it will make you shudder !!

On Amazon paperback and kindle now, we be released on other platforms soon..

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1717812686/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1531909384&sr=8-4&keywords=neville+raper

Writing Tips - Editing

In Today's Issue


Tips for Editing Your Writing
Funny Phobia
That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing
Random Joke of the Day 

You've finished your first draft....Now comes the real (horrible) work.
So here's some tips on making editing your work a bit easier.

Read Your Writing Out Loud

Writing can be a lonely, quiet task, but when it comes to editing it's helpful to make some noise.

Sentences might work in your head, but once you read them out loud you notice that you stumble over a word or two. It will amaze you how many sentences or passages you discover need some work when you try this.

Stand in front of a mirror, chin up, head back, and read. Have your work printed, and read from it. Highlight sections that need editing and come back to them.

Don't find an issue, fix it, and then get back to reading. Just make a note of what you need to re-write once you've finished this exercise. Even better; don't even make notes, use your mobile phone as a dictaphone, record yourself and add verbal notes.

Edit From a Printed Manuscript

The first time you edit your work, you don't want to print it out. Editing isn't something you do once. You'll edit, re-edit, re-re-edit, re-re-re-edit... you get the picture.

Printing your manuscript every time will result in a gross waste of paper. (And an unwanted expense.)

Most people find editing to be easier on printed paper. You can do a lot on screen, but you seem to notice more when it's printed. So at least once, preferably twice, print out your entire manuscript. Then lock yourself in a quiet room and edit!

Don't Edit in a Logical Order

It seems odd to recommend doing something that isn't logical. But if you edit out of order, you'll find that you notice more.

If you edit your manuscript from start to finish, you'll get caught up in the story. It's more difficult to notice complex sentences or poorly written paragraphs that way.

Make Sure Your First Draft is Your First Draft

The subtitle to this section makes very little sense. So let me explain.

You don't want to write a chapter, then edit it. Then write your second chapter, then edit that. You want your entire first draft complete before you even think about editing. This approach simplifies the process of editing and helps avoid writer's block. (You want as few roadblocks as possible when writing. Just get it all out there, onto paper or screen, then worry about editing.)

Separate your creative, free-flowing, writing brain and your critical, ruthless editing one. (This is why it's also a good idea to leave a few days between finishing your first draft and editing.)

Ask a Friend to Edit For You ( Thank you Anne Rhodes she does mine ! )

A fresh pair of eyes will always find things you miss. And will provide some new ideas, too.

Writing is usually a solo act, but that doesn't mean you can't ever ask for help. Or work in a team. A new reader is also likely to pick up on continuity errors, and plot holes. You've been so deep in your writing for so long that you might miss these things.

If you are going to ask a friend to help you edit, here are a few things to remember:

1) Don't give them your first draft - it's not fair. Edit yourself a couple of times before asking for help.

2) Don't let them make irreversible changes. Make sure they are editing a separate document. You might not agree with everything they change - which is fine. But you don't want to spend hours figuring out what they changed and what they didn't.

3) Don't leave it all to them. It's wonderful that they're helping, but it's your work. You need to edit it too. (I know it's not fun, but it's vital.)

4) Friends and family aren't necessarily the best people to ask. They might be! But they might not be, too. Whoever you ask you need to make sure that they're going to be critical, and honest. For example, I can't ask my dad to edit anything I write. He just tells me how much he loves my writing. Bless him. The point is, parents and friends often edit with rose-tinted glasses. So choose your help wisely.

5) Ask them if they liked it. What did they like? What didn't they like? Don't just ask them to edit sentences to make the wording easier to read. Get some feedback.

Isolate Sections

It is important to focus when you're editing or proofreading. Use pieces of paper to isolate paragraphs when you're editing. And use them to isolate vertical section when proofreading.

Read down the columns you isolate, this way you are more likely to spot spelling mistakes. You'll be seeing individual words rather than sentences.

Editing your own work is difficult. But it is possible. I would recommend the following as a pretty good structure to your editing:

1) Finish your first draft.
2) Take a few days away from it. Read a book, or catch up with friends.
3)Read through your work looking for complex sentences or paragraphs - correct them!
4) Print your manuscript.
5) Read through your manuscript looking for spelling and grammatical errors.
6) Ask a friend to edit and proofread your work for you.
7) Check your friend's suggestions, either implement them or ignore them!
8) Find professional editors and proof-readers to check your manuscript.
9) Read your manuscript again. This time for enjoyment. You worked hard on this book, enjoy it!
10) Congratulations. Your masterpiece is ready. Either get some copies printed or self-publish your book.

If all else fails, remember these famous words: "Write drunk; edit sober" ‐ Ernest Hemingway

Funny Phobia

Turophobia ? The fear of cheese !!

That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing

Russia has a larger surface area than Pluto.

Random Joke of the Day

Where do Pirates go shopping ? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAArgos