Saturday....

Saturday the old English Sætern(es)dæg, translation of Latin Saturni dies ‘day of Saturn’, the ancient Roman god of agriculture. 

Into Today's Issue

New Serial - Merlin and the Evil Spellbook by Sue McCartney
Merlin
Random Joke
Question Impossible
Advice from Ms Mel O'Drama
Finish with a Song

New Serial.
Here is a daily serial from The Pocket Rocket, Sue McCartney.

MERLIN AND THE EVIL SPELLBOOK

Space Squid:

The servant, Egbert, shook his head. ‘My poor Master Merlin never learns,’ he sighed. ‘That wretched spell book is to blame. I should set it to the fire.’ He rolled his eyes. ‘Master Merlin knew it was a portal to other dimensions but he had to meddle with dark forces.  He called forth some horrible things.  Tentacles so many tentacles.’ He shuddered. ‘They came through the rip in space and time.  All eyes, suckers and mouths.  Master screamed and fled.  It was left to me as usual to sort it out. Space squid make so much mess – all that slime and ink.  Still not to worry there was a silver lining.’  He grinned clutching the frying pan.  ‘Seafood Surprise for supper Master?’ he yelled.

The Spell:

The servant, Egbert, grinned.  He had a plan.  His master, Merlin, had been summoned to the King to discuss battle strategies.  Egbert was alone with the book and determined to have fun.  All night he laboured at chants and incantations.  Creatures of the Night emerged.  Sinister shapes lurked in dark corners and demonic laughter pierced the air.  Strange beings squirmed around his legs – chattering and scuffling.  Weird music played from instruments not of this earth.  A bony finger tapped his shoulder and Egbert froze – he turned slowly.  The skeleton spoke.  ‘This is some great party buddy.’

Part 2 Tomorrow

Merlin

Merlin (Welsh: Myrddin) is a legendary figure best known as the wizard featured in Arthurian legend and medieval Welsh poetry.

The name "Merlin" is derived from the Welsh Myrddin, the name of the bard Myrddin Wyllt, one of the chief sources for the later legendary figure.

Merlin reputedly born at Caer Fyrddin which is now modern Carmarthen. 

Merlin was named Myrddin Emrys for the Sun God of the Celts. For further details, read the works of John Rhys, the Welsh scholar.

Merlin was reputed to be a shape-shifter, a statesman and a magician.

According to legend, Merlin’s father was a demon who raped his royal mother.

Merlin was reputed to have built the Giant’s Dance (Stonehenge) as a memorial to the High King, Ambrosius.  This was eventually proved to be untrue as the structure pre-dated the Dark Ages.

During his youth, Merlin is supposed to have lost his family and to have become quite mad with grief.

Merlin served Uther Pendragon during the High King’s reign.  According to the legends, Pendragon admired the intelligence of Merlin although they had no liking for each other and Uther did not trust his servant.

Merlin is reputed to have the ability to transport himself across the country by the use of his magic.  He is believed to have been preternaturally wise.

Random Joke

Random Joke.

What time does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon?
About Tennish !

Question Impossible

This is where I ask you a question, it's pretty tough, in fact
it's nearly impossible. Can you answer it?

Which country has the lowest population?
Answer Below.

Saturday's Advice Column with Ms Mel O'Drama
Hello, I'm known worldwide for providing help and advice to stars and celebrities around the world. I was the one who gave Henry the 8th marriage advice, bit a failure that one...

Today I've had a letter from Mr Zahut.

Dear Anne,

I'm having terrible problems with my phone bill.
Can you give me some advice on how to reduce my costs.

Many thanks

Pete Zahut

Dear Pete,

Yes I can advise. Simply inform friends and family that you will phone
them at specific times daily.

Then don't. Your friends and family will then be concerned and will ring
you to see if you are OK. 

Then you can simply have the conversation you planned but at their
expense.

Mission Impossible

Earlier I asked ......Which country has the lowest population?
With a population of 451, the European country of Vatican City has the smallest national population in the world.


Finish With a Song...
This is Wizzard with See my Baby Jive, released in 1973.

Happy Friday !!

Friday comes from the old English Frīgedæg ‘day of Frigga’, named after the Germanic goddess Frigga, wife of the supreme god Odin and goddess of married love.


In Today's Issue

International Camera Day
The Camera
Dead or Alive
Facts
Random Joke of The Day 
Finish with a Song

International Camera Day

What better way to celebrate today than to take a picture. Save a memory in a second. I've had a great idea, that may just take on, why not take a picture of yourself and share it, lets say, on a social media site. I'm sure people would just 'love it'.

Seriously, the smart phone has revolutionised how we now take pictures. We have a camera with us 24 hours a day, as a consequence, some amazing pictures have been take. But, how many of us print out or pictures? Will future generations know the joy of handing in your film to a Chemist (chemist?)
and having the instant prints, back to you in a week !!!.

So today...take a pic, creative or practical enjoy !

Take a Picture

Take a picture
a single snap
With a camera
or an app.

A captured moment
a spec in time
An image frozen
soundless mime.

A selfie posted
on social media
Collected vanity
'Me' encyclopaedia

We now take pics
of dogs to food
Of bums and boobs
to much more lewd.

And I'm no better
I've done the same
Joined the herd
and shared the shame.

Dead or Alive.

This is where I give you a celebrity ... I ask a 50/50 question, are they Dead or Alive.

Today's star is American comedian and actress Madeline Kahn, star of Young Frankenstein, Blazing Saddles, and much much more...

Question...is she Dead or Alive?

Camera Facts

Every two minutes we snap more pictures than the whole of humanity did in the 1800s.

People started making funny cats photos in the 19th century.

The largest photo competition ever held received 353, 768 entries. According to the Gunnies Book of World Records, the largest photography competition entrant is achieved by Vereniging Wikimedia Nederland from the Netherlands at the Wiki Loves Monuments 2012 competition. From the 1st of September to the 15th of October, exactly 353, 768 photos were submitted to the contest.

People never smiled on the old photos because they had to stay still for hours.

The inventor of photography was better known for his invention of propeller and boats. Cameras existed way before photographs were invented – they evolved from camera obscura and have been changing throughout centuries. The first somewhat successful photograph was taken in approximately 1816 by Joseph Nicéphore Niépce. This took him eight hours of exposure to light, and the picture still was fuzzy. Maybe that’s why during his lifetime, Niépce was better known for his invention of a propeller for boats.

The left side of our faces looks better on photographs than the right side.

The most viewed photograph in history is the Windows XP’s default wallpaper called “Bliss”. and here it is.....

Random Joke of the Day

I have a chicken proof lawn...

It's impeccable

Dead or Alive....The answer

I asked, is Madeline Kahn...Dead or Alive?

Unfortunately, she passed away on 3rd December 1999.

Finish With a Song

This is Bucks Fizz, with, My Camera never lies, released in 1982 !

Thursday...

Thursday was named after the Norse god of Thunder, Thor. .

In Today's Issue..

A poem about uniforms - By Anne Rhodes.
Breaking the Law
Random Joke of the Day
Nursing
Finish with a Song

Here is a poem by Anne Rhodes, Entitled Uniforms..

UNIFORM    ©   Anne Rhodes

My memories, my only memories

From childhood, as far back as I can go,

Always in uniform - never civvies -

Always an image just like this photo.

Dark blue dress, and belt with buckle fastening,

Stiff white apron and lacy starched white hat.

Always showing matriarchal bearing

Very rarely any time for chitchat.

Sleeves that could be rolled above the elbow

Ending with white elasticated cuffs

A dress to show that everyone should know

Her word was law and that should be enough.

Night Sister, Assistant Matron, her job,

Family life was fitted round it slightly.

Pinned neatly on her breast, her watch, a fob.

She dealt with emergencies quite calmly.

Her colleagues known by their surname only,

Her uniform, her rank, said who was boss.

Her every word carried out quite promptly

Her team of nurses had that same ethos.

Her footfall fell quite softly through the night.

No patient disturbed once sleep had taken

Unless perhaps a problem came to light

Necessitating immediate action.

Her apron crackled as she walked the wards,

She loved her job, it was her life, always.

Pillows fluffed up well against the headboards

All the bedding tucked to level lengthways.

The years of real true training showed up well,

Every fact at fingertip when needed.

All the patients fears when she could, she’d quell;

And when cured, she’d bid them a fond farewell.

Working nights and days spent trying to sleep -

Her uniform a symbol of hard graft.

Knowledge of every illness ingrained deep

Apron white, dress blue, true signs of her craft.

Breaking the Law.

I'm going to give you a law.
Is it real - Breaking the Law, or have I made it up - Faking the Law.

It is illegal in the UK for you to allow your dog to mate with
the Queen's Corgi Dogs.

Is the Breaking the Law or Faking the Law
Answer below.

Random Joke of The Day

I like to sleep with the bedside lamp on, even though the wife reckons it's weird. I don't see how, I think it makes a great hat!

Nursing Facts

Florence Nightingale was named after the city in which she was born in 1820: Florence, Italy.

The NHS employs 314,966 qualified nursing staff and health visitors, 25,418 midwives and 23,066 GP practice nurses.

One in 10 hospital nurses in Britain are male. Fifty years ago, the figure was one in a hundred.

“Every nurse ought to be careful to wash her hands very frequently during the day. If her face too, so much the better.” (Florence Nightingale).

NHS facts: The NHS is the largest employer in the UK and the 5th largest in the world

Breaking the Law

Earlier I asked is it illegal in the UK for you to allow your dog to mate with 
the Queen's Corgi Dogs?

This is TRUE !!

FINISH WITH A SONG

This Simply Red, with Night Nurse, released in 1997.

Wednesday !!!

Wednesday is derived from Old English Wōdnesdæg and Middle English Wednesdei, "day of Woden", reflecting the pre-Christian religion practiced by the Anglo-Saxons.

In Today's Issue.

Big News.
Question Impossible
Random Joke of the Day
Biggest Selling Books
Finish With a Song

Well dear readers, I teased yesterday...big news....so,,

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, I present to you....

TALES OF THE UNACCEPTED :-

Eight twisty turny tales........Will be available this July, via Amazon, kindle version of paperback.

I will provide the actual release day, as I receive it. xxxxx

Question Impossible.

Once again, I'm going to ask you a question.....oooooo it's hard, in fact, it's nearly impossible.

What is the world's most expensive book ?, Who wrote it ?. And how much was it sold for ?
Answer below

Random Joke of The Day
Some jokes I write, some I don't...enjoy !
I was weaving dangerously in the middle of the road this morning.

I really should find a safer place to finish this wicker basket.

Ever wondered what the worlds best selling book is ??....here's the Top 10.

10 - The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe - 85 million sales

9 - Alice in Wonderland - 100 million

8 - Dream of the Red Chamber ( Chinese ) - 100 million

7 - And Then There Were Non - 100 million

6 - The Hobbit - 100 million

5 - Harry Potter and The Philosopher's Stone - 107 million

4 - Le Petit Prince ( France ) - 140 million

3 - The Lord of the Rings - 150 million

2 - The Tale of Two Cities - 200 million

1 - The Bible - 500 million +

Question Impossible

So I asked ..... What is the world's most expensive book ?, Who wrote it ?. And how much was it sold for ?.

The world's most expensive paper document is Leonardo da Vinci's journal, Codex Leicester, which sold for $30.8 million ( £24 million ) in 1994. The Bay Psalm Book was the first book printed in what became the United States and this copy was owned by the Old South Church in Boston.

Finish with a Song 

Only one choice. This is the Beatles with Paperback Writer.
Released in 1966 !

Tuesday.....Wow you look gorgeous !

Tuesday ..... The English name is derived from Old English Tiwesdæg and Middle English Tewesday, meaning "Tīw's Day", the day of Tiw or Týr, the god of single combat, victory and heroic glory in Norse mythology. Tiw was equated with Mars in the interpretatio germanica, and the name of the day is a translation of Latin dies Martis.

In Today's Issue.

Cars Part 2
Some Big News.....
Question Impossible
Biggest selling cars of all time.
Finish on a Song

Cars Part 2

As you know, this site is also here to promote new writers. If you have something you
wish to share, please do via the contact button, or via email... neville.raper@gmail.com.

A couple of days ago, I published a poem I wrote about cars.
Marvellous Marjorie Lacy has contributed three new pieces. Enjoy.

My  Car.   South Shields.  (1962.)                                         

My first car was

A white Mini -

Bought second hand.

My husband said

I had to drive it

somewhere every day.

So, I took my

Two year old

Son for a ride.

He loved the Mini,

He had a pretend

Steering wheel and horn.

All was well

All was great,

Until part of the

Passenger footwell

Sprung a hole.

David in his car seat

Could peer down and

See the road going by.

Fun when dry, a

Nightmare when wet.

My husband ‘mended’

It. With sticking down a

Rubber mat and covering

It with a piece of old carpet!

So, I took my

Two year old son

For a ride!

  

Car for Sale.  Leeds 1965.

The Classified Ad read -

‘Car For Sale by recently widowed lady,

Mint condition, quick sale needed.’

I was that widow,

Young and depressed..

People came to view

The car on my drive.

I made the quick sale,

Collected the cash.

The following week,

The scenario was replayed.

My brother in law

Parked his cars for sale

On our drive for me to sell.

Week in, week out,

We did it.  in this way

We assisted him to

Begin his second hand

Car Sales business.

 Learning to drive, South Shields 1962.

Albert taught me how to

Drive. I forget now the

Name of the driving School,

But I could never forget Albert.

I found driving difficult as

an adult I cannot tell my

left hand from my right

Albert had the answer, he taped

Red tape to one side of the

Steering wheel and blue to the other.

His instructions then would  

Be ‘Red hand down a bi’, or

Blue hand down a bit’.

As we drove along the

Coast Road between

South Shields and Sunderland.

Albert had a unique teaching style,

Which I had not come across before

Or since. He used a rolled up

Newspaper to hit you over the

Head when you did something wrong.

I did not pass my test on the

First attempt, it was very

Unfortunate that I ran into

The back of the big red bus.

I did pass on my second attempt

And said goodbye to Albert,

With some pleasure and relief.

I've got some big news coming.......stay tuned....

Question Impossible

This is where I ask you a fairly tough question.....so hard, it's nearly impossible.
So what, and how much, was the most expensive private number plate in the UK?

Answer below.

Top 10 Biggest Selling Cars of all Time.

10. Chevrolet Impala

9. Volkswagen Passat

8. Ford Model T

7. Honda Accord

6. Honda Civic

5. Ford Escort

4. Volkswagen Beetle

3. Volkswagen Golf

2. Ford F-Series

1. Toyota Corolla - Over 38 million sales

Question Impossible

Earlier, I asked what, and how much, was the most expensive private number plate in the UK?

 '25 O': £518,000

The number plate '25 O'

Was bought for the whopping price of £518,000 ($669,000)

Finish With a Song.

This is Madness and...I Like Driving in my Car ,,, released in 1992.
For my readers out of the UK, I recommend a click....I think you'll like it !