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Sunday 19 November 2017

Flash Fiction

In Today's Issue



Flash Fiction
300 Words
That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing
Random Joke
Word
Horoscopes for the week
Finish with a Song



Flash fiction is fictional work of extreme brevity, that still offers character and plot development, including the Six-Word Story, 140-character stories, also known as "twitterature", the "dribble" (50 words), the "drabble" , also known as "microfiction"(100 words),["sudden fiction" (750 words), flash fiction (1000 words), nanotales and "micro-story".Some commentators have also suggested that some flash fiction possesses a unique literary quality, e.g. the ability to hint at or imply a larger story.




I was asked to come up with something in 300 
words and was given the prompt of 'wedding dress'. 
This is what I came up with.


300 Words

“Filthy dirty cheating bitch.” I look at our wedding photo. How good did we look, she in her 
Grandmother’s old dress, me in full dress uniform. We were full of promise, hope and 
potential, the American dream. Then we crashed, the bankers gambled with our money 
and lost. The Men on the hill told us cuts must be made; we must tighten our belts. 
Them in their five hundred dollar suits and ten dollar tans. The army let me go to help the
economy, I’d done my duty and was dismissed. Ejected like an empty shell. No jobs, all 
I could do was kill, not a skill admired in this civilised town. 


So I drank, and she stayed away. I’d checked her phone and saw the messages.
Love letters in fifty characters, the sender given a fake name to hide in her address book. 
The enemy always hides.I find her dress of vows and veils and burn it. Confetti flecks
of husband and wife ash float into the sky.

I bet they all knew; this is a small town, everyone knows everyone. Her parents, the
bastards sour at our lack of offspring they would be supporting the adultress. 
All laughing at the used useless man. I’d make her pay; I’d make them all pay. 
I was always good at my job. I kiss the flag, cheap; China made, the ink comes off on
my lips, red, the blood of my country.

I hear their voices rejoicing in union, exalting a God who spits on them from high. 
The things I saw on the battlefield would make them denounce him instantly.
 I fought for them; I bled for them, they will bleed for me.


I feel the M16 in my hands, flick to full auto and step into the church.






Legend has it that Ernest Hemingway won a bet by writing the six-word story “For sale: baby shoes. Never worn.” Hoping to cash in on that story's success, Hemingway wrote some six-word sequels.




My wife's leaving me because of my obsession with auctions. She's going once....going twice......( or going going gone )


MATUTOLYPEA - the state of being ill-tempered in the morning





This weeks Extremely Accurate Horoscopes With  Paul T Gyce

Hello, I've been expecting you. My name is Paul T Gyce I have been an astrologer to the stars for over 70 years which is a testament to my skills as I'm 55.

Sit back and wonder how accurate my predictions will be for you, this coming week !!

Aries March 21 – April 20


This week you will meet a tall dark handsome man, unfortunately, he doesn't 
like you.

Your lucky stone this week is Sharon.

Taurus April 21 – May 21


DUCK ! RIGHT NOW DUCK, QUICKLY...
Too late. 

Your lucky colour, now, is red


Gemini May 22 – June 21


Once again, being a Gemini you are in 2 minds, both are in agreement that
you need a haircut, but only on one head.

Lucky Animal - Push Me Pull Me

Cancer June 22 – July 23


MMMM........crab......

Lucky Sauce - Seafood



Leo July 24 – Aug 23


This week you will feel caged, Remember pride comes before a fall,
The mane thing is try to avoid puns.

Your Lucky Food is Zebra


Virgo Aug 24 – Sep 23


Virgo's are brilliant and this week everything will be brilliant because you are so great.
Everyone loves you and you deserve it. If you're not a Virgo... then tough.

Your lucky thing this week is every thing !!


Libra Sept 24 – Oct 23


Libra's are quite astute and will have probably, by now, worked out what star sign
I am. This week you will be asked to weigh something.

Lucky Clothing - A bra...



Scorpio Oct 24 – Nov 22


My ex was a Scorpio and I've never met a nice one. They are fundamentally evil people and will do everything in their power to make sure they get the house, car and your collection of "specialist" video's.... I mean what does she need with 48 video's on ermmmm my hobby. Well I tell you two can play that game, I'm keeping her underwear, It fits me better than her anyway.

Famous Scorpio's 
Crippin
Adolf Hitler
Vlad The Impaler
Danny La Rue


Sagittarius Nov 23 – Dec 22


Just what is a Sagittarius ? I mean I get the rest, animals, things, but this ??? nope.
Any ways, no idea what's going to happen to you as I have no idea what you are.... Oh, sometime this week you will breath.

Lucky Word - Meh !



Capricorn Dec 23 – Jan 20

This week, just like a goat you will over eat. Just try not to eat underwear some of that stuff is really expensive.

Lucky Saying - Who ate all the pies.
Lucky Number - 3.14159265359


Aquarius Jan 21 – Feb 19


By now I'm getting a bit tired, the spirits running through me are becoming dry. I need fluid, and ironically this is your sign. This week you will be rained on.


Lucky Fluid - Rain


Pisces Feb 20 – March 20

Why is it that Pisces is always last on the list, I mean it doesn't make any sense, the year begins with January so shouldn't it start with Capricorn ?
It's all barmy really, Anyways the constellation says that this week you will
find yourself in a room and forget why you went in there for in the first place. Don't worry you're not losing it, it's already gone.

Lucky Dating Site - Plenty Of Fish



Finish with a Song

This is Queen with Flash

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