Witches Knickers

In Today's Hubble Bubble Issue

Guest Poet - The Awesome Anne Rhodes - Witches Knickers
Witches
That's Amaaaaazing
The Thoughts of Chairman Anyhow
Random Joke
(Medical) Word (To your Mother)
Join the Revolution.

Today's Guest
Anne Rhodes

I heard on the radio, the other night, 
Of the undies the witches leave behind
As they skim down low from a scary height
On whatever old transport they can find.

Don't ever believe those who swear as true
That broomsticks are all that witches can ride
Because when they're stuck, an old cloud will do
As transport across the dark countryside.

It's when the wind blows through the bare tree twigs
That they lose their knickers for all to see.
They ride far too close, hands holding their wigs,
Then modesty's gone with a one, two, three 

What you think you see are thin plastic bags
Twisted and torn caught on those twigs so bare  
But in truth they're the pants, now blown to rags, 
Of the witches who forgot to take care.

They rushed on their broomsticks and scraped their knees
Playing chase with their friends from high to low.
They snagged their knickers on those wintry trees
all modesty gone - they've no shame, you know!

You weren't sure that flying witches exist.
There's proof for you with their knickers flapping            
On all the branches in a plastic mist.
Those witches who play and cheer whilst clapping!

© Anne Rhodes 2015

The word ‘witch’ comes from the Saxon ‘wicca’, meaning ‘wise one’.

In Saudi Arabia, witchcraft and sorcery can still be punished by the death penalty. (Mind you I'm sure that goes for most things in Saudi?)

In 16th and 17th-century Europe an estimated 60,000 people were put to death for witchcraft. (and yet me ex wife still survives)

Matthew Hopkins (c.1620-1647), was England’s Witchfinder General. He and his assistants were paid at a rate of £5 per witch detected.

The last alleged witches hanged in the UK were Mary Hicks and her daughter Elizabeth, aged 9, in 1716; the last in Scotland was Janet Horne in 1727. (It's funny how they got put to death within 15 mins of each other!)

In 2008, a court in Switzerland cleared the name of Anna Goldi, who was beheaded for witchcraft in 1782, the last alleged witch executed in Europe.(She instantly came back to life wearing her pointy hat and thanked them)

In England, convicted witches were hanged; in Scotland and the rest of Europe, they were burnt at the stake, sometimes after being strangled.

Nineteen people were hanged was witches in 1692 in Salem, Massachusetts. It is still not known where they were buried. (errrm underground?)

Only one of the three witches in Shakespeare’s Macbeth is named: she is called Hecate.

Hecate was the Greek goddess of witchcraft. (Shakespeare, what a name dropper)

THAT'S AMAAAAAAZING

The largest gathering of people dressed as witches is 1,607 and was achieved by La Bruixa d'Or (Spain), in Sort, Lleida, Spain, on 16 November 2013.

The Thoughts of Chairman Anyhow


Following an acrimonious court case, half of ex UB40 members have been banned from using the groups name. So, you can catch them live at the Martin Luther Kings Head in Smethwick tonight performing under the name of ...P45.

Random Joke of the Day

I've just read a book called How To Give Constructive Criticism and it was rubbish

(Medical) Word (To your Mother)

Getting the wind knocked out of you

This feels bad, but doesn’t last very long. Just a transient diaphragmatic spasm.

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