&^%$^^$£"$! Virus

 In Today's Issue

&^%$^^$£"$! Virus
Trivial Top 10
Random Joke of the Day
That's Amaaaaaaaazing

Virus

Sorry for the lack of posts, my Lap Top has caught a cold. The little blighter took over and wouldn't let me get into my own bloomin files!

My laptop got a virus
I was surprised that it could
I tried to give paracetamol
But it did it no good

I poured in chicken soup
It works with my cold
But it just started fizzing
And the keyboard developed mold

I stuck in the bath
All soapy nice and hot
But it did not seem to like that
Oh it certainly did not.

And now its sound asleep
It doesn't want to stir
I think I've killed the hardrive
As it no longer makes a whir

I'll have to get some software
to inoculate it better
And make sure it stays dry
and never gets wetter.

I hope I haven't killed
my little robot mate
It the virus I didn't like
and those hackers that I hate !

TOP 10 Worse Computer Viruses of ALL Time 

1. The Morris worm

In 1998 Robert Morris, a university student, unleashed a worm which affected 10 per cent of all the computers connected to the internet (at the time the net was estimated to consist of 60,000 computers), slowing them down to a halt. Morris is now an associate professor at MIT.

2. The Concept virus

The Concept virus, accidentally shipped on a CD-ROM supplied by Microsoft in 1995, was the first virus to infect Microsoft Word documents. Within days it became the most widespread virus the world had ever seen, taking advantage of the fact that computer users shared documents via email.

3. CIH

The Chernobyl virus (also known as CIH) triggers on April 26 each year, the anniversary of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster. It overwrites a chip inside PCs effectively paralysing the entire computer. Its author, Chen Ing Hau, was caught by the authorities in Taiwan.

4. The Anna Kournikova worm

The Anna Kournikova worm posed as a picture of the tennis player, but was in fact a virus written by Jan de Wit, an obsessed admirer from the Netherlands. He ended up receiving a community service sentence.

5. ILOVEYOU

The Love Bug flooded internet users with ILOVEYOU messages in May 2000, forwarding itself to everybody in the user's address book. It was designed to steal internet access passwords for its Filipino creator.

6. The Melissa virus

The Melissa virus, written by David L Smith in homage to a Florida stripper, was the first successful email-aware virus and inserted a quote from The Simpsons in to Word documents. Smith was later sentenced to jail for causing over $80 million worth of damage.

7. The Blaster Worm

The Blaster worm launched a denial of service attack against Microsoft's website in 2003, and infected millions of computers around the world by exploiting a security hole in Microsoft's software. Its author has never been found.

8. Netsky and Sasser

Sven Jaschan, a German teenager, was found guilty of writing the Netsky and Sasser worms. Jaschan was found to be responsible for 70 per cent of all the malware seen spreading over the internet at the time, but escaped prison and was eventually hired by a security company as an "ethical hacker".

9. OSX/RSPlug Trojan

In November 2007, the first example of financially-motivated malware for Apple Macs was discovered in the wild. The launch of the OSX/RSPlug Trojan increased fears that Apple's platform may be targeted more by hackers in the future.

10. Storm worm

The Storm worm, originally posing as breaking news of bad weather hitting Europe, infected computers around the world in 2007. Millions of infected PCs were taken over by hackers and used to spread spam and steal identities.

Random Joke of the Day

Amnesia Club is brilliant. You can talk about it all you like.

That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing !

There are more bacteria in your mouth than they are people in the world !

Bargain Book

Have you got a kindle or e-book reader? Then as a gift from me you can now buy

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YOU CAN FIND IT ON AMAZON NOW !

International Dentist Day

 Open wide.. In Today's Issue (sue sue sue .....that's a big cavity )

International Dentist Day
Our Keith's Teeth
Dentist Facts
That's Amaaaaaaaazing
Random Joke.......rinse

Today is the day to Celebrate dentists all over the world and thank them for keeping us healthy and smiling on Dentist’s Day.

So,,,,How to Celebrate?

If you haven’t been to see your dentist in a while, use this day to make an appointment with them.
Try and book it at 2.30
Send them a card to say thanks...but NO CHOCOLATE !!

Our Keith has bad teeth

They used to be pearlers

So bright and so white

Now they’re all colours

And they do smell of shite

They’re stumpy and broken

Crooked and odd

Neglected and tartered

Like a lawn gone to sod

Keith failed to brush

Or use his mouthwash

No polishing ever

He never used floss

So now he regrets

His lack of hygiene

He would love nice teeth

The smile and the sheen

So here is the moral

The point of your ventures

Keep your teeth clean

Or else you’ll have dentures

The calcium & phosphorous found in cheese is healthy for your teeth – it reduces the pH level in plaque and remineralizes the enamel.

60% of people don’t know that a sore jaw, when combined with chest pain, is a signal of heart attack.

Each person’s set of teeth is unique much like their fingerprints. Even identical twins do not have exactly the same set of teeth.


Did you know that your tongue print is also unique?

The average woman smiles about 62 times a day! A man… Only 8! Kids laugh around 400 times a day. Grown-ups just 15.

Academy of general dentistry, the average person only brushes for 45 to 70 seconds a day, the recommended amount of time is 2-3 minutes.

If you’re right handed, you will chew your food on your right side. If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food on your left side. It is recommended to chew from both the sides equally to prevent jaw joint problems.

50% consider the smile the first facial feature they notice.

80% are not happy with their smile.

83% of people believe their teeth are more important to their appearance than hat, hair and eyes.

People who drink 3 or more sugary sodas daily have 62% more dental decay.

People with gum disease are more likely to suffer from heart diseases and those without disease.

Average human produces 25000 quartz of saliva in a lifetime, which is enough to fill two swimming pools.

You should keep your tooth brush away from the toilet. The air borne particles from the flush can travel up to a distance of 6 feet.

In 1994 a prison inmate in West Virginia braided dental floss into a row, scaled the wall & escaped.

You should always replace your tooth brush at least every three months & always after infection like flu, cold & other viral infections. Bacteria can implant themselves on the bristles causing re-infection.

Tooth enamel is the hardest substance in the human body. However, it is not recommended to use teeth to open bottle caps.

Gum disease is the leading cause of tooth loss in people over age 35. Fortunately, most gum disease can be prevented.

If you don’t floss, you miss cleaning 40% of your tooth surfaces. So don’t miss flossing in your oral dental hygiene routine.

More than 300 types of bacteria make up dental plaque.

That's Amaaaaaazing

The most teeth in the mouth is 37, achieved by Vijay Kumar V.A (India), as verified in Bangalore, India on 20 September 2014. Vijay has five more teeth than the average number for adults. He first noticed that he had more biting power than most people in his late teens

Random Joke of the Day

My mum always used to say "40 is the new 30". Lovely woman, banned from driving.

Want to see what other guff I write pop over to my Authors page on Amazon. Just paste the below link in your browser.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Neville-Raper/e/B0759Z1D25%3Fref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share

Happy Birthday

 In Today's Birthday Issue

Happy Birthday
Thank You

Birthday Facts
Word to your Mother
That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing
Random Joke

Happy Birthday

Well this Blog has been going for just over 3 years now so thought it's about time I said thank you, to you, the reader. The readership has gone up from a modest 100 a day to nearly 1k.
So far over 200,000 have clicked on this little blog and read my ramblings. Hopefully, I've entertained you, made you think, made you smile.

I have plans this year to improve this site and offer rewards for readers. If you have any ideas how I could improve, wish to contribute or comment please click on the link on the left or e-mail me at :-

Creativewriter2018@outlook.com

Love you all !

Thank you for reading

You are oh so clever

For my mission to you

My only endeavour

Is to make you smile

And also think

Even though

My rhymes might stink

But you know better

Coz you’re so bright

To read my page

Both day and night

My friend, my pal

My chum, my mate

I love you all

And think you’re great

So thanks again

You beautiful folk

Let's enjoy a laugh

And share a joke

Birthday Facts...

August is the most popular birthday month, accounting for about 9% of all the birthdays in the world!

In 1989, the world's largest birthday cake was created to celebrate the 100th birthday of Fort Payne, Alabama.
The cake weighed 128,238 pounds, 8 oz. and used 16,209 pounds of icing!

Marilyn Monroe's, “Happy Birthday, Mr President,” tribute is the most famous, birthday song rendition ever!

The world's most expensive birth certificate belongs to Paul McCartney, which was auctioned in March 1997 for $84,146 USD!

The Sultan of Brunei hosted the world's most expensive birthday party to celebrate his 50th year. The cost? A whopping $27.2 million! Three concerts featuring Michael Jackson cost $16 million of the total amounts.

Anne Frank's world famous diary was given to her as a present for her 13th birthday.

William Shakespeare died on his 52nd birthday: April 23, 1616.

...Since Your Last Birthday...

31,536,000 seconds have passed.

your hair has likely grown to 12 cm, and your nails about 4 cm.

your heart has beaten 42,075,900 times.

you have taken approximately 15,768,000 breaths.

you will have had about 1,460 dreams.

the world's population has grown by 76,570,430.

your heart has pumped 2,688,000 litres of blood throughout your body!

there have been more than 50,000 earthquakes throughout the world.

the Earth has completed an entire journey around the sun, travelling about 584,337,600 miles.

Miscellaneous, Birthday Figures

If you counted 24 hours a day, you would be over 31,000 years old when you reach one trillion!

In the time it takes you to read this, another five babies will have been born.

“Christmas Day” is the most celebrated date of birth in the world!

“Golden Birthday” is when your age and date of birth are the same.

“Birthday Paradox” is the likelihood that out of 23 people, there is a 50/50 chance that two of them will have the same birthday. This probability goes up to 99% for a group of 57 people!

15 million is the average number of people celebrating a birthday today (and every day around the world)!

Word of the day: SNERDLE - to wrap up cozily in bed

That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing 

Mary Wheaton and Pat Shardelow (both USA) have been exchanging the same birthday card since 1944.

Birthday World Records
The longest birthday is 48 hours, and was achieved by Paul Morgan (USA) in Lihue, Hawaii, USA on 3 February 2018. Paul's record-breaking attempt took place in Apia, Samoa; Auckland, New Zealand; Los Angeles, California, USA and Lihue, Hawaii, USA. Paul made his record-breaking attempt to celebrate his 28th birthday.

Random Joke of the Day

I've been invited to my first Constipation Anonymous Meeting next Monday. Unfortunately, there is no way I can go

Want to see what other guff I write pop over to my Authors page on Amazon. Just paste the below link in your browser.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Neville-Raper/e/B0759Z1D25%3Fref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share