All the Small Things

 In Today's Tiny Issue

Small Things
How small are we
That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing
Random Joke
Word (to your Mother)

Free audio play.

I write about big things.

But, it’s time to talk of the small,

of little pleasures of smaller joys.

A lick from the dog

Clean sheet smell

Chinese chicken curry

Melodious church bell

Sun through the curtains

A really good sneeze

Elvis on the radio

Quite a strong cheese

My spex with no spots

A pair of odd socks

Bacon and eggs

Soft ticking of clocks

Smell of cut grass

Old Captain Kirk

A free parking space

A weekend off work

A freezing cold pint

I nice new haircut

Batman and Robin

Nice clean smut

The laugh of a child

A fresh coffee pot

A blackbird’s singsong

A nose clear of snot

How Small are We ?

Our sun is one of at least 100 BILLION stars, just in the Milky Way. Scientists calculate that there are at least 100 billion galaxies in the observable universe, each one brimming with stars. There are more stars than grains of sand on all of Earth’s beaches combined. 

The Milky Way is a huge city of stars, so big that even at the speed of light (which is fast!), it would take 100,000 years to travel across it.

 Roughly 70% of the universe is made of dark energy. Dark matter makes up about 25%. The rest — everything on Earth, everything ever observed with all of our instruments, all normal matter adds up to less than 5% of the universe.

If the sun were as tall as a typical front door, Earth would be the size of a penny.

The sun accounts for almost all of the mass in our solar system. Leaving .2% for all the planets and everything else.

Edwin Hubble discovered that the Universe is expanding and that at one point in time (14 billion years ago) the universe was all collected in just one point of space.

 Four American spacecraft are headed out of our solar system to what scientists call interstellar space. Voyager 1 is the farthest out — more than 11 billion miles from our sun. It was the first manmade object to leave our solar system. Voyager 2, is speeding along at more than 39,000 mph, but will still take more than 296,000 years to pass Sirius, the brightest star in our night sky..

That's Amaaaaaaaazing ...

Smallest Hypothetical Object in the Universe: The smallest hypothetical objects in the universe is a thing which does not have any mass and dimensions. Its existence is also not proven yet. According to string theory, all universe is made up of tiny vibrating string-like structures which interact with each other and give rise to mass and energy.

Random Joke of the Day

My Dad always told me “Don’t be quick to find faults.” 

Great Dad, terrible geologist.

Word of the day: SCURRYFUNGE - to rush around cleaning before visitors arrive.

Want to see what other guff I write pop over to my Authors page on Amazon. Just paste the below link in your browser.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Neville-Raper/e/B0759Z1D25%3Fref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share

Oh and as a little extra treat here's a short radio play written by me performed by Sheffield Radio.

The Cat on the Mat

 In Today's Feline Issue

The Cat on the Mat
Cats
That's Amaaaaaaaazing
Random Joke
Bargain Book

The Cat on The Mat

Einstein's Cat
It sat on the mat
Relative, but true
Schrodinger's Cat
Was dead on the mat
Or was it one of a two?

Which cat is alive?
Which one is dead?
The concept within
Confuses your head

If the cat on the mat
is the one that's alive
Then how did it die?
Or did it survive

I think the thesis
Maybe perturbing
Anyway
I'm Pretty sure
The Mat was
Green.

CATS

Unlike dogs, cats do not have a sweet tooth. Scientists believe this is due to a mutation in a key taste receptor.

When a cat chases its prey, it keeps its head level. Dogs and humans bob their heads up and down

The technical term for a cat’s hairball is a “bezoar.

A group of cats is called a “clowder.”

A cat can’t climb head first down a tree because every claw on a cat’s paw points the same way. To get down from a tree, a cat must back down.

Cats make about 100 different sounds. Dogs make only about 10

There are more than 500 million domestic cats in the world, with approximately 40 recognized breeds

While it is commonly thought that the ancient Egyptians were the first to domesticate cats, the oldest known pet cat was recently found in a 9,500-year-old grave on the Mediterranean island of Cyprus. This grave predates early Egyptian art depicting cats by 4,000 years or more.

During the time of the Spanish Inquisition, Pope Innocent VIII condemned cats as evil and thousands of cats were burned. Unfortunately, the widespread killing of cats led to an explosion of the rat population, which exacerbated the effects of the Black Death.

During the Middle Ages, cats were associated with withcraft, and on St. John’s Day, people all over Europe would stuff them into sacks and toss the cats into bonfires. On holy days, people celebrated by tossing cats from church towers.

The first cat in space was a French cat named Felicette (a.k.a. “Astrocat”) In 1963, France blasted the cat into outer space. Electrodes implanted in her brains sent neurological signals back to Earth. She survived the trip.

The group of words associated with cat (catt, cath, chat, katze) stem from the Latin catus, meaning domestic cat, as opposed to feles, or wild cat.

The term “puss” is the root of the principal word for “cat” in the Romanian term pisica and the root of secondary words in Lithuanian (puz) and Low German puus. Some scholars suggest that “puss” could be imitative of the hissing sound used to get a cat’s attention. As a slang word for the female pudenda, it could be associated with the connotation of a cat being soft, warm, and fuzzy

According to Hebrew legend, Noah prayed to God for help protecting all the food he stored on the ark from being eaten by rats. In reply, God made the lion sneeze, and out popped a cat.

A cat’s hearing is better than a dog’s. And a cat can hear high-frequency sounds up to two octaves higher than a human.

A cat can travel at a top speed of approximately 31 mph (49 km) over a short distance.

A cat rubs against people not only to be affectionate but also to mark out its territory with scent glands around its face. The tail area and paws also carry the cat’s scent.

Researchers are unsure exactly how a cat purrs. Most veterinarians believe that a cat purrs by vibrating vocal folds deep in the throat. To do this, a muscle in the larynx opens and closes the air passage about 25 times per second.

When a family cat died in ancient Egypt, family members would mourn by shaving off their eyebrows. They also held elaborate funerals during which they drank wine and beat their breasts. The cat was embalmed with a sculpted wooden mask and the tiny mummy was placed in the family tomb or in a pet cemetery with tiny mummies of mice.

In 1888, more than 300,000 mummified cats were found an Egyptian cemetery. They were stripped of their wrappings and carted off to be used by farmers in England and the U.S. for fertilizer.

Most cats give birth to a litter of between one and nine kittens. The largest known litter ever produced was 19 kittens, of which 15 survived.

The longest domestic cat is Ludo at 118.33 cm (3 ft 10.59 in) long. He is owned by Kelsey Gill (UK) and was measured on 6 October 2015.

Random Joke of the Day

When I was in Alaska, I tried baby bear casserole. It was a little grizzly.

Bargain Book

Did you get a kindle or e-book reader for Xmas? Then as a New Years gift from me you can now buy

my recent release, "Tales of the Unexpected" for the amazing low price of £1.99 (cheaper than a cup

of coffee) 

CHECK OUT THE 5 STAR REVIEWS -

B Silver
5.0 out of 5 starsGreat diverse short stories
28 October 2019
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
Love this writer I bought his previous books and in my opinion this is the best so far. The stories are much more diverse than the others. For a book of short stories there are a lot there, great to pop in and read as and when you want to. Read mine on the train, I laughed out loud at one point making my fellow passengers jump out of their seats. Recommended read....

YOU CAN FIND IT ON AMAZON NOW !

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B07YSVC6TT…

In Today's Issue


Tax 
Paradise
That's Amaaaaaaaazing
Random Joke
Word...to your mother ?
Finish with a Song

Fix

TAX 

Paradise 

What does your tax

Really pay for

Scroungers, foreigners

And the poor?

It’s taken directly

From your pay

The amount that’s

Taken’s beyond your say

But there is a gap

a big loophole

If your rich

With a big bankroll

Don’t pay your way

Keep your wad

It’s not illegal

If money’s your god

So what does that

Tax provide?

Where would go that

Money you hide?

Hospitals, schools,

Fire and police

Libraries, Soldiers

To keep the peace

Everything society

Everything we need

Sacrificed for rich

Fat Man's greed

So keep your cash

Your conscious clean

It’s not illegal

But it is obscene.

The poorest pay more tax

The public generally believe that households with the highest incomes pay more in tax than those with the lowest. However, when taken as a percentage of that household's income, that isn't the case at all.

The poorest households hand over a whopping 43% of their incomes in various taxes, a massive eight percentage points more than the richest households, according to research from the Equality Trust.

Random Joke
Narcolepsy. It's a very serious cond,,,

Word of the Day
‘Semantic satiation’ is repeating a word so often it sounds like nonsense.

Bargain Book

Did you get a kindle or e-book reader for Xmas? Then as a New Years gift from me you can now buy

my recent release, "Tales of the Unexpected" for the amazing low price of £1.99 (cheaper than a cup

of coffee) 

CHECK OUT THE 5 STAR REVIEWS -

B Silver
5.0 out of 5 stars

Great diverse short stories
28 October 2019
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
Love this writer I bought his previous books and in my opinion this is the best so far. The stories are much more diverse than the others. For a book of short stories there are a lot there, great to pop in and read as and when you want to. Read mine on the train, I laughed out loud at one point making my fellow passengers jump out of their seats. Recommended read....

YOU CAN FIND IT ON AMAZON NOW !

FIX

The 'subscribe button' has now been fixed. Simply add your e-mail and get this drivel delivered straight to you !!!

The Cat on the Mat

In Today's Feline Issue

The Cat on the Mat
Cats
That's Amaaaaaaaazing
Random Joke
Bargain Book

The Cat on The Mat

Einstein's Cat
It sat on the mat
Relative, but true
Schrodinger's Cat
Was dead on the mat
Or was it one of a two?

Which cat is alive?
Which one is dead?
The concept within
Confuses your head

If the cat on the mat
is the one that's alive
Then how did it die?
Or did it survive

I think the thesis
Maybe perturbing
Anyway
I'm Pretty sure
The Mat was
Green.

CATS

Unlike dogs, cats do not have a sweet tooth. Scientists believe this is due to a mutation in a key taste receptor.

When a cat chases its prey, it keeps its head level. Dogs and humans bob their heads up and down

The technical term for a cat’s hairball is a “bezoar.

A group of cats is called a “clowder.”

A cat can’t climb head first down a tree because every claw on a cat’s paw points the same way. To get down from a tree, a cat must back down.

Cats make about 100 different sounds. Dogs make only about 10

There are more than 500 million domestic cats in the world, with approximately 40 recognized breeds

While it is commonly thought that the ancient Egyptians were the first to domesticate cats, the oldest known pet cat was recently found in a 9,500-year-old grave on the Mediterranean island of Cyprus. This grave predates early Egyptian art depicting cats by 4,000 years or more.

During the time of the Spanish Inquisition, Pope Innocent VIII condemned cats as evil and thousands of cats were burned. Unfortunately, the widespread killing of cats led to an explosion of the rat population, which exacerbated the effects of the Black Death.

During the Middle Ages, cats were associated with withcraft, and on St. John’s Day, people all over Europe would stuff them into sacks and toss the cats into bonfires. On holy days, people celebrated by tossing cats from church towers.

The first cat in space was a French cat named Felicette (a.k.a. “Astrocat”) In 1963, France blasted the cat into outer space. Electrodes implanted in her brains sent neurological signals back to Earth. She survived the trip.

The group of words associated with cat (catt, cath, chat, katze) stem from the Latin catus, meaning domestic cat, as opposed to feles, or wild cat.

The term “puss” is the root of the principal word for “cat” in the Romanian term pisica and the root of secondary words in Lithuanian (puz) and Low German puus. Some scholars suggest that “puss” could be imitative of the hissing sound used to get a cat’s attention. As a slang word for the female pudenda, it could be associated with the connotation of a cat being soft, warm, and fuzzy

According to Hebrew legend, Noah prayed to God for help protecting all the food he stored on the ark from being eaten by rats. In reply, God made the lion sneeze, and out popped a cat.

A cat’s hearing is better than a dog’s. And a cat can hear high-frequency sounds up to two octaves higher than a human.

A cat can travel at a top speed of approximately 31 mph (49 km) over a short distance.

A cat rubs against people not only to be affectionate but also to mark out its territory with scent glands around its face. The tail area and paws also carry the cat’s scent.

Researchers are unsure exactly how a cat purrs. Most veterinarians believe that a cat purrs by vibrating vocal folds deep in the throat. To do this, a muscle in the larynx opens and closes the air passage about 25 times per second.

When a family cat died in ancient Egypt, family members would mourn by shaving off their eyebrows. They also held elaborate funerals during which they drank wine and beat their breasts. The cat was embalmed with a sculpted wooden mask and the tiny mummy was placed in the family tomb or in a pet cemetery with tiny mummies of mice.

In 1888, more than 300,000 mummified cats were found an Egyptian cemetery. They were stripped of their wrappings and carted off to be used by farmers in England and the U.S. for fertilizer.

Most cats give birth to a litter of between one and nine kittens. The largest known litter ever produced was 19 kittens, of which 15 survived.

That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaazing 

The longest domestic cat is Ludo at 118.33 cm (3 ft 10.59 in) long. He is owned by Kelsey Gill (UK) and was measured on 6 October 2015.

Random Joke of the Day

Peacock tails: Good. Pee cocktails: Bad.

Bargain Book

Did you get a kindle or e-book reader for Xmas? Then as a New Years gift from me you can now buy

my recent release, "Tales of the Unexpected" for the amazing low price of £1.99 (cheaper than a cup

of coffee) 

CHECK OUT THE 5 STAR REVIEWS -

B Silver
5.0 out of 5 stars

Great diverse short stories
28 October 2019
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
Love this writer I bought his previous books and in my opinion this is the best so far. The stories are much more diverse than the others. For a book of short stories there are a lot there, great to pop in and read as and when you want to. Read mine on the train, I laughed out loud at one point making my fellow passengers jump out of their seats. Recommended read....

YOU CAN FIND IT ON AMAZON NOW !

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B07YSVC6TT…