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Tuesday 28 January 2020

Stand Up

Had some requests for some more poetry, a few of you have asked if I can incorporate some of my stand up material, so here you are.

Hope enjoy, feedback would be appreciated.





I went to the Dentist
He looked in my mouth
He told me the news
My teeth had gone south
He gave me the choice
Choose gold or some nickel
I made up my mind
To have cheese and pickle

When I was a boy
Of spooks was afraid
They’d plague my night
My dreams they’d invade
My mum to my room
Allaying my fears
Leave me alone
You've been dead 19 years

My granddad demised
Passed away in his sleep
A gentle way
For the reaper to reap
He did not cry 
For his life he’d not bid
Unlike the way his passengers did

I got in a fight
What a terrible fuss
A big skinhead
As I got off the bus
He growled and he cursed
And furrowed his brow
Agoraphobic he was
He said inside right now!

Humpty Dumpty
Sat On a wall
Humpty Dumpty
Had a great fall
The build of the wall
Was quite Defect
He made 10 grand
With claims direct 

If you don’t like this rhyme
Find the jokes such a crime
I’m deaf to your bleats
So stick with your Keats


The Top 10 Richest Comedians in the World


10. Sebastian Maniscalo: $15.0 Million
9. Jeff Dunham: $15.0 Million
#8. Terry Fator: $18.5 Million
#7. Jim Gaffigan: $30.5 Million
#6. Kevin Hart: $32.5 Million
#5. Amy Schumer: $37.5 Million

4. Dave Chappelle: $47.0 Million
#3. Louis C.K.: $52.0 Million
#2. Chris Rock: $57.0 Million
#1. Jerry Seinfeld: $69.0 Million
But who is the richest UK stand up in 2017 :-



John Bishop - £7 Million

Random Joke of the Day


Customer Service: How does the name appear on your credit card? Me: 12 pt. Arial bold?

Bargain Book
Did you get a kindle or e-book reader for Xmas? Then as a New Years gift from me you can now buy
my recent release, "Tales of the Unexpected" for the amazing low price of £1.99 (cheaper than a cup
of coffee) 



CHECK OUT THE 5 STAR REVIEWS -
B Silver
5.0 out of 5 stars
Great diverse short stories
28 October 2019
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
Love this writer I bought his previous books and in my opinion this is the best so far. The stories are much more diverse than the others. For a book of short stories there are a lot there, great to pop in and read as and when you want to. Read mine on the train, I laughed out loud at one point making my fellow passengers jump out of their seats. Recommended read....
YOU CAN FIND IT ON AMAZON NOW !


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