Hey Lidl Diddle

Lidler

In Today's Cut Price Issue

Lidl
Lidler
That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing
Random Joke 

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Spa Trek ?

I’ve got my coat and my shopping list

My bag for life gripped in my fist

I take a step onto my quest

To put their prices to the test

Hey diddle diddle I’m off to the Lidle

The carpark is small I just about fit

Two spaces one car gits

The trolley bay a pound a time

Daylight robbery, disorganized crime

Hey diddle diddle I’m off to the Lidle

The sliding door opens as if it’s magic

Paul Daniels would spin it’s almost tragic

Open sesame into the cave

For the retail treasures that I crave

Hey diddle diddle I’m off to the Lidle

They’ve tiny aisles for tiny feet

Prepacked salad and plastic meat

Fruit and veg some for a pound

Shipped to here from foreign ground

Hey diddle diddle I’m off to the Lidle

And right in the middle of super cheap Lidle

Are baskets of crap from chainsaws to fiddles

A nightie for Nan, Pan set for Mam

Buckets of Lego and mountains of Spam

Hey diddle diddle I’m off to the Lidle

Cookies from Poland and beans from the East

Coffee from Denmark a moveable feast

Brands that are nearly the ones that you know

Typoo Tea, Mr. Pickling’s Gateaux

Hey diddle diddle I’m off to the Lidle

Then we queue at the till on ten deep

For Maureen on one who’s nearly asleep

Then you prepare for the battle

As you hear Maureen prattle

As the food is shot at you, you can hear the peas rattle

Hey diddle diddle I’m off to the Lidle

So that’s all done, the war is won

I’ve bought it all from greens to gum

My bags are full my pockets not

It’s what you get not what you’ve got

Hey diddle diddle I’ve been to the Lidle

Lidl

1. It’s actually pronounced Lee-dull – but the firm now accepts the way Brits say it.
2. Lidl puts its rise down to winning over Maidstone Mum – shoppers who in the past would have been embarrassed to be seen in one of its stores.
3. It began as Lidl & Schwarz Wholesale near Stuttgart in 1930.
4. Lidl opened its first stores in 1973 and by the 1980s it had rapidly become a favourite with shoppers. It now has shops in 26 countries across Europe and is expected to be the continent’s biggest grocery retailer by 2018.
5. The first 10 UK stores opened in September 1994.
6. It now plans to expand into America, Russia and Australia.
7. In 2008 the opening of a store in Southall, West London, caused a stampede, forcing security guards to close its doors.
8. As well as Italian and Spanish weeks in UK stores, Lidl has English weeks, with Cheddar and real ales, in foreign stores.
9. The firm calls its shoppers “Lidlers”.
10. A quarter of Lidlers are from A and B socio-economic groups: upper-middle class and middle-class professionals.
11. Stores are kept small with limited products so shoppers can do a full weekly shop in 20 minutes – and to keep down costs.
12. Lidl has a smaller range of products, selling 1,500 to 1,600 lines including 330 branded lines, compared with the 15,000 items usually found in large supermarkets.
13. Some of the more usual Christmas items sold include a whole Serrano ham joint for £39.99, a three-fish roast for £5.69... and packs of frozen reindeer steaks for £7.99.

Thats Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing

Supermarket chain Lidl (Spain) wanted to organise a fun team-building event to engage their logistics platform employees ahead of launching a new training program.

Looking for an activity that tied in with the employees’ work at their warehouse in Madrid, they decided to attempt the brand new Guinness World Records title Most pallets toppled in domino fashion.

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Great diverse short stories
28 October 2019
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
Love this writer I bought his previous books and in my opinion this is the best so far. The stories are much more diverse than the others. For a book of short stories there are a lot there, great to pop in and read as and when you want to. Read mine on the train, I laughed out loud at one point making my fellow passengers jump out of their seats. Recommended read....

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