In Today's Issue

&^%$^^$£"$! Virus
Trivial Top 10
Random Joke of the Day
That's Amaaaaaaaazing
Bargain Book

Virus

Sorry to be late this week, my Lap Top has caught a cold. The little blighter took over and wouldn't let me get into my own bloomin files!

My laptop got a virus
I was surprised that it could
I tried to give paracetamol
But it didn't do no good

I poured in chicken soup
It works with my cold
But it just started fizzing
And the keyboard developed mold

I stuck in the bath
All soapy nice and hot
But it did not seem to like that
Oh it certainly did not.

And now its sound asleep
It doesn't want to stir
I think I've killed the hardrive
As it no longer makes a whir

I'll have to get some software
to inoculate it better
And make sure it stays dry
and never gets wetter.

I hope I haven't killed
my little robot mate
It the virus I didn't like
and those hackers that I hate !

TOP 10 Worse Computer Viruses of ALL Time 
(Source Telegraph Newspaper)

1. The Morris worm

In 1998 Robert Morris, a university student, unleashed a worm which affected 10 per cent of all the computers connected to the internet (at the time the net was estimated to consist of 60,000 computers), slowing them down to a halt. Morris is now an associate professor at MIT.

2. The Concept virus

The Concept virus, accidentally shipped on a CD-ROM supplied by Microsoft in 1995, was the first virus to infect Microsoft Word documents. Within days it became the most widespread virus the world had ever seen, taking advantage of the fact that computer users shared documents via email.

3. CIH

The Chernobyl virus (also known as CIH) triggers on April 26 each year, the anniversary of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster. It overwrites a chip inside PCs effectively paralysing the entire computer. Its author, Chen Ing Hau, was caught by the authorities in Taiwan.

4. The Anna Kournikova worm

The Anna Kournikova worm posed as a picture of the tennis player, but was in fact a virus written by Jan de Wit, an obsessed admirer from the Netherlands. He ended up receiving a community service sentence.

5. ILOVEYOU

The Love Bug flooded internet users with ILOVEYOU messages in May 2000, forwarding itself to everybody in the user's address book. It was designed to steal internet access passwords for its Filipino creator.

6. The Melissa virus

The Melissa virus, written by David L Smith in homage to a Florida stripper, was the first successful email-aware virus and inserted a quote from The Simpsons in to Word documents. Smith was later sentenced to jail for causing over $80 million worth of damage.

7. The Blaster Worm

The Blaster worm launched a denial of service attack against Microsoft's website in 2003, and infected millions of computers around the world by exploiting a security hole in Microsoft's software. Its author has never been found.

8. Netsky and Sasser

Sven Jaschan, a German teenager, was found guilty of writing the Netsky and Sasser worms. Jaschan was found to be responsible for 70 per cent of all the malware seen spreading over the internet at the time, but escaped prison and was eventually hired by a security company as an "ethical hacker".

9. OSX/RSPlug Trojan

In November 2007, the first example of financially-motivated malware for Apple Macs was discovered in the wild. The launch of the OSX/RSPlug Trojan increased fears that Apple's platform may be targeted more by hackers in the future.

10. Storm worm

The Storm worm, originally posing as breaking news of bad weather hitting Europe, infected computers around the world in 2007. Millions of infected PCs were taken over by hackers and used to spread spam and steal identities.

Random Joke of the Day

Missing.... black and white cat wearing a red collar goes by the name of Mittens, very intelligent. Mittens if you're reading this please call, we are very worried.

That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing !

There are more bacteria in your mouth than they are people in the world !

Bargain Book

Stuck in the house ? bored  ? Fed Up ? You can now buy my recent release, "Tales of the Unexpected" for the amazing low price of £1.99 (cheaper than a cup

of coffee) 

CHECK OUT THE 5 STAR REVIEWS -

B Silver
5.0 out of 5 stars

Great diverse short stories
28 October 2019
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Love this writer I bought his previous books and in my opinion this is the best so far. The stories are much more diverse than the others. For a book of short stories there are a lot there, great to pop in and read as and when you want to. Read mine on the train, I laughed out loud at one point making my fellow passengers jump out of their seats. Recommended read....

YOU CAN FIND IT ON AMAZON NOW !

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Tales-Unexpected-Neville-Raper/dp/1687345600/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1S5K676ODI5T3&keywords=neville+raper&qid=1584902969&sprefix=neville+r%2Caps%2C239&sr=8-1

About the Author

Neville Raper invented You Tube, has swum the channel twice and is a habitual liar.

He lives in Yorkshire, where just like the locals, he says what he likes and likes what he says.

Broadcaster, Author, blogger, Neville is an occasional stand-up, and regular sit down.

Message from the Author.

Hi, thank you for buying this book unless you stole it, then shame on you.

Seriously, I hope you enjoy the stories within. A lot of people ask where I get the ideas from so I’ve taken the liberty of sharing the inspiration of each one. I hope that this may inspire you to write your own.

I’d like to say that this has been a long hard road to get to this point, but honestly, it hasn’t. I find writing a pleasure and having my work read a joy.

My ultimate goal is to write something that I would like to read and by doing so, hopefully, something you will enjoy reading as well.

So sit back, dim the lights, but not so much that you can’t read, and come with me on a journey.

These are all stories of ‘what if.' for isn’t that what life is all about?

Yours Forever

Neville