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In today's Issue

Facebook
Facebook Facts
An Ode to Social Media
Random Joke of the Day 

Bargain Book

Today I heard some really interesting facts about Facebook..
So I thought I'd look for some more !

The average user has 130 friends

The average number of friends on Facebook is 130, and women tend to have somewhat more than men. 

Over 25% of users have been dumped by their partner via Facebook

And even worse, via the "change of stasis" button !!!

Facebook doesn't allow breastfeeding photos

Facebook causes 1 in 3 Divorces

It used to be the tell-tale lipstick on the collar. Then there were the give-away texts that spelled the death knell for many marriages. But now one in three divorces involve the social networking site Facebook.

A staggering 80 per cent of divorce lawyers have also reported cases that use social media for evidence of cheating.

36% of users check Facebook, Twitter or texts after sex

A recent study suggested that social networks are becoming an increasingly important part of young people's lives. Among under-35s, 36% admitted to "tweeting, texting and checking Facebook after sex." Forty percent of respondents admitted to doing so while driving, 64% said they do so at work, and 65% use these communication channels while on holiday. I know that my girlfriend check hers during sex !!!!!!!!

Facebook stores approximately 300 PETABYTES of user data on its servers. 

There are 1 million gigabytes in a petabyte. The entire written works of humankind, in every known language (including Latin and other historical languages) from the dawn of recorded history, would occupy approximately 50 petabytes. Think about that for a minute !!!

Facebook Grows By 8 people a second !

Each Facebook User Is Worth £4.52 in Earnings to The Platform

Facebook has over 350 million active users. More than 35 million users update their status each day, with more than 55 million status updates each day.

If Facebook were a country, it would be the fifth-largest country in the world,

The Police and UK Government Agencies, Including Department Of Work and Pensions use Facebook 

to investigate people.

The most popular person on Facebook :

Cristiano Renaldo with 120 million "friends"

Facebook friends

old and new

How many more can you

accrue

Virtual buddies

in cyber space

You'll never meet them

face to face

Stalkers, nutter's

Lot's of Ex's

Relationships killed

Battle of Sexes

Depression built

as you look at their view

Coz everyone seems

better than you.

And in the end what

does it matter

Real friends call

and have a natter !!

Neville 2017

Random Joke of the Day

I've just walked past a homeless guy with a sign that read: 'One day this could be you.' So I put my pound back in my pocket, just in case he's right.

Bargain Book

Stuck in the house ? bored  ? Fed Up ? You can now buy my recent release, "Tales of the Unexpected" for the amazing low price of £1.99 (cheaper than a cup

of coffee) 

CHECK OUT THE 5 STAR REVIEWS -

B Silver
5.0 out of 5 stars

Great diverse short stories
28 October 2019
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Love this writer I bought his previous books and in my opinion this is the best so far. The stories are much more diverse than the others. For a book of short stories there are a lot there, great to pop in and read as and when you want to. Read mine on the train, I laughed out loud at one point making my fellow passengers jump out of their seats. Recommended read....

YOU CAN FIND IT ON AMAZON NOW !

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Tales-Unexpected-Neville-Raper/dp/1687345600/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1S5K676ODI5T3&keywords=neville+raper&qid=1584902969&sprefix=neville+r%2Caps%2C239&sr=8-1

About the Author

Neville Raper invented You Tube, has swum the channel twice and is a habitual liar.

He lives in Yorkshire, where just like the locals, he says what he likes and likes what he says.

Broadcaster, Author, blogger, Neville is an occasional stand-up, and regular sit down.

Message from the Author.

Hi, thank you for buying this book unless you stole it, then shame on you.

Seriously, I hope you enjoy the stories within. A lot of people ask where I get the ideas from so I’ve taken the liberty of sharing the inspiration of each one. I hope that this may inspire you to write your own.

I’d like to say that this has been a long hard road to get to this point, but honestly, it hasn’t. I find writing a pleasure and having my work read a joy.

My ultimate goal is to write something that I would like to read and by doing so, hopefully, something you will enjoy reading as well.

So sit back, dim the lights, but not so much that you can’t read, and come with me on a journey.

These are all stories of ‘what if.' for isn’t that what life is all about?

Yours Forever

Neville

Ducky

In today's Issue

Feeding Ducks
Ducky's
Amaaaaazing Fact
Random Joke
Bargain Book 


FEEDING DUCKY'S

Feeding ducks

With stale bread

Clearing strings

Within my head

Connections sting

Snap and break

The ducks they feed

Hen and drake

Their simple life

As they bob along

They know exactly

Where they belong

I too float

In a metaphorical pond

I have no tether

No mental bond

So give me my day

My daily bread

I'm sure I'm quackers

But, I'm not yet dead

Neville

Interesting Duck Facts

The duck is a number of species in the Anatidae family of birds. They are related to swans and geese.


Ducks are mostly aquatic birds living in both fresh water and sea water and found on every continent 
except for Antarctica.

A male duck is called a drake, a female duck a hen, and a baby duck a duckling.

Ducks are omnivores. They feed on aquatic plants, small fish, insects, worms, grubs and more. People often feed domesticated ducks bread.

Diving ducks and sea ducks search for food fairly deep underwater. To be able to stay underwater more easily, diving ducks are quite heavy.

Dabbling ducks feed on the surface of water, on land, or by ducking their head underwater. Along the edge of their beak is a comb-like structure called a pecten, that enables them to hold slippery food and filter nutrients out of the water.

A common urban legend is that a ducks quack does not echo. This has however, been proven to be false.

Ducks are curious and friendly creatures they have been domesticated as pets and farm animals for more than 500 years. All domestic ducks are descended from either the Mallard or the Muscovy duck.

The most common and recognised species of duck is the Mallard or Wild duck. It is a dabbling duck that lives in the Americas, Europe, Asia, North Africa, and has been introduced to New Zealand and Australia.

The male Mallard has a glossy green head, grey wings and belly, while the female has a brown-speckled plumage. Mallard ducks have a moulting season, they are vulnerable during this time as the moulting stops them flying.

Mallard ducks live 5 to 10 years in the wild and 8+ years in captivity.

Paradise Shelducks of New Zealand often have one mating partner for life.

All ducks have highly waterproof feathers due to the feathers interlocking nature and waxy coating.

Ducks have many economic uses. Their feathers, particularly their underlying 'down' feathers, are used in many products, while the white Pekin duck is the most common variety raised for eggs and meat.

Ducks have featured as popular cartoon characters over the years, such as Walt Disney's Donald Duck and Warner Brothers, Daffy Duck.

Something I've got in common with Daffy Duck......a lisp !!!

 

Amaaaaaaaaaazing Fact

If eaten in one meal the liver of a polar bear is enough to kill a human being !

Random Joke of the Day

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was the stated cooking time of oven chips.

Bargain Book

Stuck in the house ? bored  ? Fed Up ? You can now buy my recent release, "Tales of the Unexpected" for the amazing low price of £1.99 (cheaper than a cup

of coffee) 

CHECK OUT THE 5 STAR REVIEWS -

B Silver
5.0 out of 5 stars

Great diverse short stories
28 October 2019
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Love this writer I bought his previous books and in my opinion this is the best so far. The stories are much more diverse than the others. For a book of short stories there are a lot there, great to pop in and read as and when you want to. Read mine on the train, I laughed out loud at one point making my fellow passengers jump out of their seats. Recommended read....

YOU CAN FIND IT ON AMAZON NOW !

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Tales-Unexpected-Neville-Raper/dp/1687345600/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1S5K676ODI5T3&keywords=neville+raper&qid=1584902969&sprefix=neville+r%2Caps%2C239&sr=8-1

About the Author

Neville Raper invented You Tube, has swum the channel twice and is a habitual liar.

He lives in Yorkshire, where just like the locals, he says what he likes and likes what he says.

Broadcaster, Author, blogger, Neville is an occasional stand-up, and regular sit down.

Message from the Author.

Hi, thank you for buying this book unless you stole it, then shame on you.

Seriously, I hope you enjoy the stories within. A lot of people ask where I get the ideas from so I’ve taken the liberty of sharing the inspiration of each one. I hope that this may inspire you to write your own.

I’d like to say that this has been a long hard road to get to this point, but honestly, it hasn’t. I find writing a pleasure and having my work read a joy.

My ultimate goal is to write something that I would like to read and by doing so, hopefully, something you will enjoy reading as well.

So sit back, dim the lights, but not so much that you can’t read, and come with me on a journey.

These are all stories of ‘what if.' for isn’t that what life is all about?

Yours Forever

Neville

In Today's Issue

&^%$^^$£"$! Virus
Trivial Top 10
Random Joke of the Day
That's Amaaaaaaaazing
Bargain Book

Virus

Sorry to be late this week, my Lap Top has caught a cold. The little blighter took over and wouldn't let me get into my own bloomin files!

My laptop got a virus
I was surprised that it could
I tried to give paracetamol
But it didn't do no good

I poured in chicken soup
It works with my cold
But it just started fizzing
And the keyboard developed mold

I stuck in the bath
All soapy nice and hot
But it did not seem to like that
Oh it certainly did not.

And now its sound asleep
It doesn't want to stir
I think I've killed the hardrive
As it no longer makes a whir

I'll have to get some software
to inoculate it better
And make sure it stays dry
and never gets wetter.

I hope I haven't killed
my little robot mate
It the virus I didn't like
and those hackers that I hate !

TOP 10 Worse Computer Viruses of ALL Time 
(Source Telegraph Newspaper)

1. The Morris worm

In 1998 Robert Morris, a university student, unleashed a worm which affected 10 per cent of all the computers connected to the internet (at the time the net was estimated to consist of 60,000 computers), slowing them down to a halt. Morris is now an associate professor at MIT.

2. The Concept virus

The Concept virus, accidentally shipped on a CD-ROM supplied by Microsoft in 1995, was the first virus to infect Microsoft Word documents. Within days it became the most widespread virus the world had ever seen, taking advantage of the fact that computer users shared documents via email.

3. CIH

The Chernobyl virus (also known as CIH) triggers on April 26 each year, the anniversary of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster. It overwrites a chip inside PCs effectively paralysing the entire computer. Its author, Chen Ing Hau, was caught by the authorities in Taiwan.

4. The Anna Kournikova worm

The Anna Kournikova worm posed as a picture of the tennis player, but was in fact a virus written by Jan de Wit, an obsessed admirer from the Netherlands. He ended up receiving a community service sentence.

5. ILOVEYOU

The Love Bug flooded internet users with ILOVEYOU messages in May 2000, forwarding itself to everybody in the user's address book. It was designed to steal internet access passwords for its Filipino creator.

6. The Melissa virus

The Melissa virus, written by David L Smith in homage to a Florida stripper, was the first successful email-aware virus and inserted a quote from The Simpsons in to Word documents. Smith was later sentenced to jail for causing over $80 million worth of damage.

7. The Blaster Worm

The Blaster worm launched a denial of service attack against Microsoft's website in 2003, and infected millions of computers around the world by exploiting a security hole in Microsoft's software. Its author has never been found.

8. Netsky and Sasser

Sven Jaschan, a German teenager, was found guilty of writing the Netsky and Sasser worms. Jaschan was found to be responsible for 70 per cent of all the malware seen spreading over the internet at the time, but escaped prison and was eventually hired by a security company as an "ethical hacker".

9. OSX/RSPlug Trojan

In November 2007, the first example of financially-motivated malware for Apple Macs was discovered in the wild. The launch of the OSX/RSPlug Trojan increased fears that Apple's platform may be targeted more by hackers in the future.

10. Storm worm

The Storm worm, originally posing as breaking news of bad weather hitting Europe, infected computers around the world in 2007. Millions of infected PCs were taken over by hackers and used to spread spam and steal identities.

Random Joke of the Day

Missing.... black and white cat wearing a red collar goes by the name of Mittens, very intelligent. Mittens if you're reading this please call, we are very worried.

That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing !

There are more bacteria in your mouth than they are people in the world !

Bargain Book

Stuck in the house ? bored  ? Fed Up ? You can now buy my recent release, "Tales of the Unexpected" for the amazing low price of £1.99 (cheaper than a cup

of coffee) 

CHECK OUT THE 5 STAR REVIEWS -

B Silver
5.0 out of 5 stars

Great diverse short stories
28 October 2019
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Love this writer I bought his previous books and in my opinion this is the best so far. The stories are much more diverse than the others. For a book of short stories there are a lot there, great to pop in and read as and when you want to. Read mine on the train, I laughed out loud at one point making my fellow passengers jump out of their seats. Recommended read....

YOU CAN FIND IT ON AMAZON NOW !

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Tales-Unexpected-Neville-Raper/dp/1687345600/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1S5K676ODI5T3&keywords=neville+raper&qid=1584902969&sprefix=neville+r%2Caps%2C239&sr=8-1

About the Author

Neville Raper invented You Tube, has swum the channel twice and is a habitual liar.

He lives in Yorkshire, where just like the locals, he says what he likes and likes what he says.

Broadcaster, Author, blogger, Neville is an occasional stand-up, and regular sit down.

Message from the Author.

Hi, thank you for buying this book unless you stole it, then shame on you.

Seriously, I hope you enjoy the stories within. A lot of people ask where I get the ideas from so I’ve taken the liberty of sharing the inspiration of each one. I hope that this may inspire you to write your own.

I’d like to say that this has been a long hard road to get to this point, but honestly, it hasn’t. I find writing a pleasure and having my work read a joy.

My ultimate goal is to write something that I would like to read and by doing so, hopefully, something you will enjoy reading as well.

So sit back, dim the lights, but not so much that you can’t read, and come with me on a journey.

These are all stories of ‘what if.' for isn’t that what life is all about?

Yours Forever

Neville