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Showing posts with label #comedy.#poetry #funny #facts #trivia #QI #newbook #bookoffer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #comedy.#poetry #funny #facts #trivia #QI #newbook #bookoffer. Show all posts

Wednesday, 13 January 2021

International Nothing Day

 

International Nothing Day

In Today's Not Quite There Issue


International Nothing Day
Nothing
Nothingness
That's Amaaaazing
Random Joke
Bargain Book

National Nothing Day is quite simply... a day for nothing.
This day is an "un-event". The expectation is that we do not create or otherwise promote this day. In other words, we do nothing. And, to say anything more would contradict the purpose of this day.
Celebrate this day by doing....nothing. Of course, that assumes that doing nothing is okay with your boss.


I'm Without

Nothing, nada, nowt
An absence, a void
A gap, whiteness, blackness
Does that quote Freud?

A Vacuum, a distance
Zero, zilch
Nobody, nothing, naught
A skip or a glitch

Oblivion, obliteration
Diddly squat
No mark, no score
No living inkspot

Nihilist, nix
Nullity, empty, bare
I looked for myself
But I wasn’t there.


Nothingness 

There is vastly more nothing than something. Roughly 74 percent of the universe is “nothing,” or what physicists call dark energy; 22 percent is dark matter, particles we cannot see. Only 4 percent is baryonic matter, the stuff we call something.

And even something is mostly nothing. Atoms overwhelmingly consist of empty space. Matter’s solidity is an illusion caused by the electric fields created by subatomic particles.
There is more and more nothing every second. In 1998 astronomers measuring the expansion of the universe determined that dark energy is pushing apart the universe at an ever-accelerating speed. The discovery of nothing—and its ability to influence the fate of the cosmos—is considered the most important astronomical finding of the past decade.
But even nothing has a weight. The energy in dark matter is equivalent to a tiny mass; there is about one pound of dark energy in a cube of empty space 250,000 miles on each side.
In space, no one can hear you scream: Sound, a mechanical wave, cannot travel through a vacuum. Without matter to vibrate through, there is only silence.
Light can travel through a vacuum, but there is nothing to refract it. Alas for extraterrestrial romantics, stars do not twinkle in outer space.
Black holes are not holes or voids; they are the exact opposite of nothing, being the densest concentration of mass known in the universe.
“Zero” was first seen in cuneiform tablets written around 300 B.C. by Babylonians who used it as a placeholder (to distinguish 36 from 306 or 360, for example). The concept of zero in its mathematical sense was developed in India in the fifth century.
Any number divided by zero is . . . nothing, not even zero. The equation is mathematically impossible.
Vacuums do not suck things. They create spaces into which the surrounding atmosphere pushes matter.
Creatio ex nihilo, the belief that the world was created out of nothing, is one of the most common themes in ancient myths and religions.
Current theories suggest that the universe was created out of a state of vacuum energy, that is, nothing.
But to a physicist there is no such thing as nothing. Empty space is instead filled with pairs of particles and antiparticles, called virtual particles, that quickly form and then, in accordance with the law of energy conservation, annihilate each other in about 10-25 second.
These virtual particles popping in and out of existence create energy. In fact, according to quantum mechanics, the energy contained in all the power plants and nuclear weapons in the world doesn’t equal the theoretical energy contained in the empty spaces between these words.
In other words, nothing could be the key to the theory of everything.
That's Amaaaaaaaaazing
"Borrowing" your neighbor's Wifi is illegal in Singapore.

Random Joke of the Day

My doctor asked me how I felt after swallowing 3 caterpillars . 

"I've got butterflies in my stomach", I replied!

Bargain Book
Did you get a kindle or e-book reader for Xmas? Then as a New Years gift from me you can now buy
my recent release, "Tales of the Unexpected" for the amazing low price of £1.99 (cheaper than a cup
of coffee) 



CHECK OUT THE 5 STAR REVIEWS -
B Silver
5.0 out of 5 starsGreat diverse short stories
28 October 2019
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
Love this writer I bought his previous books and in my opinion this is the best so far. The stories are much more diverse than the others. For a book of short stories there are a lot there, great to pop in and read as and when you want to. Read mine on the train, I laughed out loud at one point making my fellow passengers jump out of their seats. Recommended read....
YOU CAN FIND IT ON AMAZON NOW !


Saturday, 25 July 2020

Ducky

In today's Issue

Feeding Ducks
Ducky's
Amaaaaazing Fact

Random Joke
Bargain Book 


FEEDING DUCKY'S

Feeding ducks
With stale bread
Clearing strings
Within my head

Connections sting
Snap and break
The ducks they feed
Hen and drake

Their simple life
As they bob along
They know exactly
Where they belong

I too float
In a metaphorical pond
I have no tether
No mental bond

So give me my day
My daily bread
I'm sure I'm quackers
But, I'm not yet dead

Neville



Interesting Duck Facts


The duck is a number of species in the Anatidae family of birds. They are related to swans and geese.


Ducks are mostly aquatic birds living in both fresh water and sea water and found on every continent 
except for Antarctica.

A male duck is called a drake, a female duck a hen, and a baby duck a duckling.

Ducks are omnivores. They feed on aquatic plants, small fish, insects, worms, grubs and more. People often feed domesticated ducks bread.

Diving ducks and sea ducks search for food fairly deep underwater. To be able to stay underwater more easily, diving ducks are quite heavy.

Dabbling ducks feed on the surface of water, on land, or by ducking their head underwater. Along the edge of their beak is a comb-like structure called a pecten, that enables them to hold slippery food and filter nutrients out of the water.

A common urban legend is that a ducks quack does not echo. This has however, been proven to be false.

Ducks are curious and friendly creatures they have been domesticated as pets and farm animals for more than 500 years. All domestic ducks are descended from either the Mallard or the Muscovy duck.

The most common and recognised species of duck is the Mallard or Wild duck. It is a dabbling duck that lives in the Americas, Europe, Asia, North Africa, and has been introduced to New Zealand and Australia.

The male Mallard has a glossy green head, grey wings and belly, while the female has a brown-speckled plumage. Mallard ducks have a moulting season, they are vulnerable during this time as the moulting stops them flying.

Mallard ducks live 5 to 10 years in the wild and 8+ years in captivity.

Paradise Shelducks of New Zealand often have one mating partner for life.

All ducks have highly waterproof feathers due to the feathers interlocking nature and waxy coating.

Ducks have many economic uses. Their feathers, particularly their underlying 'down' feathers, are used in many products, while the white Pekin duck is the most common variety raised for eggs and meat.

Ducks have featured as popular cartoon characters over the years, such as Walt Disney's Donald Duck and Warner Brothers, Daffy Duck.

Something I've got in common with Daffy Duck......a lisp !!!



 



Amaaaaaaaaaazing Fact

If eaten in one meal the liver of a polar bear is enough to kill a human being !

Random Joke of the Day

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was the stated cooking time of oven chips.


Bargain Book

Stuck in the house ? bored  ? Fed Up ? You can now buy my recent release, "Tales of the Unexpected" for the amazing low price of £1.99 (cheaper than a cup
of coffee) 




CHECK OUT THE 5 STAR REVIEWS -
B Silver
5.0 out of 5 stars
Great diverse short stories
28 October 2019
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Love this writer I bought his previous books and in my opinion this is the best so far. The stories are much more diverse than the others. For a book of short stories there are a lot there, great to pop in and read as and when you want to. Read mine on the train, I laughed out loud at one point making my fellow passengers jump out of their seats. Recommended read....
YOU CAN FIND IT ON AMAZON NOW !

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Tales-Unexpected-Neville-Raper/dp/1687345600/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1S5K676ODI5T3&keywords=neville+raper&qid=1584902969&sprefix=neville+r%2Caps%2C239&sr=8-1
About the Author


Neville Raper invented You Tube, has swum the channel twice and is a habitual liar.
He lives in Yorkshire, where just like the locals, he says what he likes and likes what he says.
Broadcaster, Author, blogger, Neville is an occasional stand-up, and regular sit down.


Message from the Author.

Hi, thank you for buying this book unless you stole it, then shame on you.
Seriously, I hope you enjoy the stories within. A lot of people ask where I get the ideas from so I’ve taken the liberty of sharing the inspiration of each one. I hope that this may inspire you to write your own.
I’d like to say that this has been a long hard road to get to this point, but honestly, it hasn’t. I find writing a pleasure and having my work read a joy.
My ultimate goal is to write something that I would like to read and by doing so, hopefully, something you will enjoy reading as well.
So sit back, dim the lights, but not so much that you can’t read, and come with me on a journey.
These are all stories of ‘what if.' for isn’t that what life is all about?

Yours Forever
Neville

Saturday, 18 July 2020

Woman

In Today's Issue

Woman
Trivial Top 10
That's Amaaaaazing
Random Joke
Bargain Book

Woman

I’m not a size ten
Never been petite
Suffered throes of passion
Or lived with conceit

In height I’m bereft
No leggy lofty form
Not even 5 foot
The UK norm

My face is not symmetrical
No make-up would repair
No artists canvass
A painter would despair

But inside this frame
An esoteric fact
No yesterday woman
No submissive artefact

There beats a heart of a lion
Someone once said
But this strength lays within
My chest, my breast, my head

Society sees me simply
A frail and withered maid
But this country was built
On my slave trade.

So when you see me
Look beyond the shell
A soldier, a builder, a mother
The stories I could tell

N R


TOP 10 Richest Women in the World

10. Beate Hesiter (founder of Aldi)
Net worth: $13.
9. Iris Fontbona (Chilean Billionaire)
Net worth: $13.7 billion
8. Abigail Johnson (American Business Woman)
Net worth: $14.4 billion
7. Gina Rinehart (Australian, money made via mining)
Net worth: $15 billion
6. Laurene Powell Jobs (Widow of Steve Jobs)
Net worth: $20 billion
5. Susanne Klatten (German Heiress)
Net worth: $20.4 billion
4. Maria Franca Fissolo (Owner of Ferraro)
Net worth: $25.2 billion
3. Jacqueline Mars (Mars Heiress)
Net worth: $27 billion
2. Alice Walton (Walmart Heiress
Net worth: $33.8 billion
1. Liliane Bettencourt (Lorial)
Net worth: $39.5 billion

That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing

Despite popular beliefs, studies show that woman
 are not less flatulent than men ! 

Random Joke of the Day
How do you make a Pirate angry? Take the 'P' out of him.
Bargain Book

Stuck in the house ? bored  ? Fed Up ? You can now buy my recent release, "Tales of the Unexpected" for the amazing low price of £1.99 (cheaper than a cup
of coffee) 




CHECK OUT THE 5 STAR REVIEWS -
B Silver
5.0 out of 5 stars
Great diverse short stories
28 October 2019
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Love this writer I bought his previous books and in my opinion this is the best so far. The stories are much more diverse than the others. For a book of short stories there are a lot there, great to pop in and read as and when you want to. Read mine on the train, I laughed out loud at one point making my fellow passengers jump out of their seats. Recommended read....
YOU CAN FIND IT ON AMAZON NOW !

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Tales-Unexpected-Neville-Raper/dp/1687345600/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1S5K676ODI5T3&keywords=neville+raper&qid=1584902969&sprefix=neville+r%2Caps%2C239&sr=8-1
About the Author


Neville Raper invented You Tube, has swum the channel twice and is a habitual liar.
He lives in Yorkshire, where just like the locals, he says what he likes and likes what he says.
Broadcaster, Author, blogger, Neville is an occasional stand-up, and regular sit down.


Message from the Author.

Hi, thank you for buying this book unless you stole it, then shame on you.
Seriously, I hope you enjoy the stories within. A lot of people ask where I get the ideas from so I’ve taken the liberty of sharing the inspiration of each one. I hope that this may inspire you to write your own.
I’d like to say that this has been a long hard road to get to this point, but honestly, it hasn’t. I find writing a pleasure and having my work read a joy.
My ultimate goal is to write something that I would like to read and by doing so, hopefully, something you will enjoy reading as well.
So sit back, dim the lights, but not so much that you can’t read, and come with me on a journey.
These are all stories of ‘what if.' for isn’t that what life is all about?

Yours Forever
Neville