Vets

Vets

In Today's Issue
Albert the Wonderdog
Vets
Random Joke
Bargain Book

Albert

Regular readers will know I have a little fellah called Albert.

He's part Jack Russell part piranha.....

His fetish is my underwear, pants and socks.

As a consequence I don't own one matching pair of socks and,

when it comes to pants, well lets just say, if your going to buy

adult lingerie, I can save you a lot of money, and provide free

crotchless pants !

Yesterday, I took him for his annual check up from the neck up.

Top left, as soon as we got there he made for the exit
Top right, "Dad don't let him hurt me"
Bottom right, "A needle!!!"
Bottom left, "I hate you all"

Anyway, he's now fine and back to his barky self.

Here's a little poem about my socks and him.

I love my socks

upon my feet

They make my

toes look really neat

They soak up sweat

or keep me warm

They smell so bad

like chloroform

Athletes foot

and verrucas sore

They disappear in my

black whole drawer

But worst of all

they're Albert's chew

and I have to pick them

out of his poo !!

• The term veterinarian comes from the Latin world veterinae which means ‘working animals’.

• Dogs are the most popular animal to show up on their veterinary exam table.

• Almost 80% of practicing veterinarians are females.

• All vets must have a specialty. The most common form would be a general practice with household pets and the occasional surgery needing specialty veterinarian equipment. But, others may go on to complete intensive studies oncology, radiology, animal dentistry, dermatology, cardiology, preventative animal medicine, internal medicine, or exotic small animal medicine and surgery.

• Not all vets practice medicine, some work in basic research and development of new treatments. Others, however, apply their knowledge of animals and apply that to human problems. Veterinarian science reveals that about 61% of all the disease-causing agents in humans originate in animals.

• Veterinarians are can profit incredibly by using refurbished medical equipment. Because they do not treat humans, they do not have to worry about the constant development of new and more expensive veterinary equipment that may not necessarily be better. They can take advantage and buy used medical equipment that will help them lower the costs of your animal’s visit.

• Vets must take an oath when they graduate medical school promising they will use their knowledge for the benefit and protection of animal health and welfare. Additionally, they solemnly swear to relieve animal suffering, advance medical knowledge, promote public health, and practice their profession with dignity, while abiding by veterinary medical ethics.

• In certain situations, vets can have very dangerous jobs! No matter how well behaved an animal can be, there is no way of telling what can happen on that veterinary exam table. Statistically speaking, more than half of all vets will get seriously injured in their line of work!

RANDOM JOKE OF THE DAY

So apparently Mary the raisin has been cheating on her husband with Dave the sultana. Just keeping you up to date with currant affairs.

Bargain Book

Stuck in the house ? bored  ? Fed Up ? You can now buy my recent release, "Tales of the Unexpected" for the amazing low price of £1.99 (cheaper than a cup

of coffee) 

CHECK OUT THE 5 STAR REVIEWS -

B Silver
5.0 out of 5 stars

Great diverse short stories
28 October 2019
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Love this writer I bought his previous books and in my opinion this is the best so far. The stories are much more diverse than the others. For a book of short stories there are a lot there, great to pop in and read as and when you want to. Read mine on the train, I laughed out loud at one point making my fellow passengers jump out of their seats. Recommended read....

YOU CAN FIND IT ON AMAZON NOW !

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Tales-Unexpected-Neville-Raper/dp/1687345600/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1S5K676ODI5T3&keywords=neville+raper&qid=1584902969&sprefix=neville+r%2Caps%2C239&sr=8-1

NaPoWriMo 2020

NaPoWriMo - National Poetry Writing Month
Web Site
First new poem
The most Populous Mammals on The Planet
That's Amaaaaaaaaazing
Random Joke
Discount Book

NaPoWriMo, or National Poetry Writing Month, is an annual project in which participating poets attempt to write a poem a day for the month of April.

Maureen Thorson, a poet and publisher of Big Game Books announced the project March 17, 2003 as an online project on her blog. She invited other poets with blogs to join her in the project and listed the participating poets. Thorson has continued to run the project each year on her blog with more poets participating as the word has spread about the project.

If you want more information the please visit the site :-

http://www.napowrimo.net

TODAY's SPANKING NEW POEM -

I am the Zoo

Sick as a parrot

Worked like a dog

Float like a butterfly

Will croak like a frog!

Stubborn as a mule

Sting like a bee

Brave like a lion

Like a bat, I can’t see

As mad as a fish

Sly as a fox

Slow as a sloth

Wake with the cocks

Burn like a tiger

Free as a bird

Wise as an owl

Head of the herd

Eager as a beaver

Churchmouse poor

Drunk as a skunk

I’m a raging boar

The Worlds Most Populous Mammals

10. Donkey (40 million) - (That's a lot of Ass)

9. Horse (60 million) 

8. Tame Water Buffalo (175 million) (??? Have you got one ?? )

7. Domestic Dog (425 million) (This is Albert)

6. Domestic Cat (625 million)  (Guess that's that argument sorted then)

5. Goats (860 million) (You are kidding!)

4. Pigs (1.0 billion)

3. Sheep (1.1 billion)

2. Cows (1.5 billion)

1. Humans (7.3 billion) (Not a massive surprise)

That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing

One Durham, North Carolina tortoise, has left his competition in the dust by being crowned the fastest the world has ever seen.

Bertie, the speedy tortoise, runs at a speed of about 0.6 miles per hour. This means that he is twice as fast as the average tortoise, and can finish a 100m race in just six minutes.

Although he may not be competing with Usain Bolt anytime soon, Bertie lives contentedly in his "luxury enclosure with his girlfriend Shelly" where he enjoys his favourite snack—strawberries.

RANDOM JOKE OF THE DAY

Russian computer: "Enter password" Me: "Beef stew" Russian computer: "Password not stroganoff"

Bargain Book

Stuck in the house ? bored  ? Fed Up ? You can now buy my recent release, "Tales of the Unexpected" for the amazing low price of £1.99 (cheaper than a cup

of coffee) 

CHECK OUT THE 5 STAR REVIEWS -

B Silver
5.0 out of 5 stars

Great diverse short stories
28 October 2019
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Love this writer I bought his previous books and in my opinion this is the best so far. The stories are much more diverse than the others. For a book of short stories there are a lot there, great to pop in and read as and when you want to. Read mine on the train, I laughed out loud at one point making my fellow passengers jump out of their seats. Recommended read....

YOU CAN FIND IT ON AMAZON NOW !

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Tales-Unexpected-Neville-Raper/dp/1687345600/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1S5K676ODI5T3&keywords=neville+raper&qid=1584902969&sprefix=neville+r%2Caps%2C239&sr=8-1

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