Help me Rondeau, Help Help me Rondeau

Help me Rondeau, Help Help me Rondeau

In Today's Roundabout Issue

Rondeau

Help me Rondeau, Help Help me Rondeau

Circles
Word
Random Joke


A Rondeau is a short poem consisting of fifteen lines that have two rhymes throughout. The first few words or phrase from the first line are repeated twice in the poem as a refrain.

Help me Rondeau, Help Help me Rondeau

  

The sofa calls me to my rest

Like mewling babe embraced by breast

Swallowed up incased in leather

Enveloped against the weather

I have a home for that I’m blessed

It is MY sofa I’m no guest

Place for me somewhere to tether

My safety sofa.

I sink myself into headrest

Hide within when I am stressed

Place to get myself together

Stuffed with bird death their own feathers

I leave a dent, am I depressed

My safety sofa.

Circles

The simplicity of the circle — a set of points on a plane that are all the same distance from another point called the centre – has endlessly fascinated humans. Circles (from the Greek kirkos, meaning ring, from the ancient root ker, meaning “to turn”) are symbols of infinity – a line that never ends.

The Greek philosopher Empedocles (493-433BC) devised a highly eccentric personal cosmology whose god was a circle “of which the centre is everywhere and the circumference is nowhere”.

Circles are also efficient: they cover the maximum possible area for a given perimeter, or have the minimum possible perimeter for a given area. They are useful, too: a filled-in circle is a disc and gave us the wheel, perhaps the most famous of all inventions.

Divination circles

Gyromancy is a form of divination in which a person walks in circles until they fall over through dizziness. The position one falls in is then used to interpret the outcome of future events.

Walking in circles

In situations where there are no navigational clues – such as a snowstorm or thick fog – humans always end up going around in circles.

Research carried out in 2009 by the Max Planck Institute for Biological Cybernetics in Tübingen had volunteers set down in a particularly empty bit of the Sahara or the dense, flat Bienwald Forest in south-west Germany and tracked them using GPS. When the sun or moon was out, they were perfectly capable of walking in a straight line. When it wasn’t, they started to walk in circles, crossing their own path several times: the average diameter of the circle they walked was only 66ft (20m). It suggested that we have no instinctive sense of direction.

Ant circles

If a group of army ants gets separated from the main foraging party, they can lose the pheromone track and begin to follow one another. They form a continuously rotating circle and keep going until they die of exhaustion.

Stone circles

The most famous henge – an oval area enclosed by a bank and an internal ditch – is Avebury, in Wiltshire. The nearby ancient stone circle of Stonehenge isn’t, strictly speaking, a henge because its ditch runs outside its bank.

The word henge was given its precise modern meaning by Thomas Kendrick, Keeper of British Antiquities at the British Museum, in 1932. For centuries, any stone circle or ritual site was called a henge in imitation of Stonehenge. The word had long since lost its meaning in Old English, which was “hanging place” (either in the sense of “gallows” or “precipice”).

Kendrick used it to mark out a particular style of circular monument which occurred all over the British Isles but not in the rest of Europe. But, by defining it so precisely, he excluded Stonehenge itself.

Star circles

Zodiac comes from the Greek kyklos (circle) and zoon (animal), and so means “circle of animals”.

The identification of the constellations with animals and mythical figures was first recorded in the Sumerian civilisation of Mesopotamia, around 3,000BC, from where it spread to Egyptian and Greek cultures.

Crop circles

Mathew Williams, of Devizes in Wiltshire, is the only person to have been arrested for creating crop circles; in 2000 he was fined £100 after putting his work on the internet.

Circle of learning

The word encyclopedia literally means a “circle of learning” and was originally used to indicate a well-rounded education. It was not used as a title for books of general knowledge until the 17th century.

Word of the Day

VORFÜHREFFEKT (German) - "demonstration effect", when something doesn't work until you go to show someone the problem - and it suddenly works again.

Random Joke

I’m a member of ‘Paranoids Anonymous’. We don’t meet up in case people find out.

Bargain Book

Stuck in the house ? bored  ? Fed Up ? You can now buy my recent release, "Tales of the Unexpected" for the amazing low price of £1.99 (cheaper than a cup

of coffee) 

CHECK OUT THE 5 STAR REVIEWS -

B Silver
5.0 out of 5 stars

Great diverse short stories
28 October 2019
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Love this writer I bought his previous books and in my opinion this is the best so far. The stories are much more diverse than the others. For a book of short stories there are a lot there, great to pop in and read as and when you want to. Read mine on the train, I laughed out loud at one point making my fellow passengers jump out of their seats. Recommended read....

YOU CAN FIND IT ON AMAZON NOW !

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Tales-Unexpected-Neville-Raper/dp/1687345600/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1S5K676ODI5T3&keywords=neville+raper&qid=1584902969&sprefix=neville+r%2Caps%2C239&sr=8-1

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Bar Non

Bar Non

In Today's Pub(lic) Post

Bar Room Bants
Pubs
That's Amaaaaaaaazing
Random Joke

Two old men, probably not much older than me shout their history over a bar, there is a six foot exclusion zone between them. Is this their punching distance, just in case.

One of the men wears Adidas jogging bottoms, he may have been a member of Run DMC.

The other has an expansive white beard, the Santa Clause of alcoholics.

Microwaved food whizzes past me almost as fast as it was cooked.

Mostly men, some shopping women.

Some eat, they look clean for their repast. The ones that drink look trampy. I’m drinking.

A blonde girl walks past me, impossibly thin, her miscoloured hair extensions swing in line with her spray on jeans. She carries to pints of cheap lager. The glasses scream the beers name, overcompensating for its poorness. I do hope she gets much needed calories from the booze.

Old men grasping carrier bags from discount stores shuffle in. I wonder how many times this “bag for life” has been used now that they are 5p. In one I can see a tin of store brand beans and a small white loaf. The staple diet of a lonely drunk.

The barmaid in clipped blonde hair chews gum as she absently mindedly serving her flock.

I’m checked out by everyone who passes. I’d like to believe it’s my dashing good looks, when really they wonder what I am writing. Maybe I’m from the DWP checking up on them. The government want them to eat cake I say let them block out their lives as the working class always have.

The great drinking classes looking through the end of myopic glasses.

And still they come with sticks and caps shouting their hello’s as they enter. I like the anti-social society in here. Nothing, has nothing to prove.

No peacock boys with bants in their pants here. No one is trying to flirt, the only thing worth pulling is the beer tap.

“Hey” one man shouts his goodbye. I feel like I’m in a sitcom, “Cheers” in a recession.

I measure time by gulps of ale, I swear me clock has stopped.

The glass doors are tinted making outside look even grimier. The pub shouts “why not stay in here where it’s as warm as the beer”

A Chinese couple perhaps lost or on the great tourist trail to great deprived towns, they argue animatedly. The man bows to his tiny chirping wife, she has to be 4 foot 7 if an inch, and I’m scared of her too.

Buses slide by outside all condensation, the passengers stare from their aquarium into mine. Is it envy they see in their eyes?

I drink and think alone. My Dad used to do the same. As I reach the age that he died I start to see the attraction. I don’t have to have to entertain to keep people amused, no need to force my concentration on things I don’t want to. I can do what I think I do best, watch and listen.

I’ve always been able to read people like a book, it’s taken me 50 odd years to realise I’m a librarian.

The door squeaks as someone walks in, you think it would be well oiled.

An alcoholic or a drink issue, today I’m on issue 55,000. On a plus side I don’t smoke, I watch the puffers outside like cigarette castaways. People walk through their smoky sauna to enter. Second class smoke causes first class cancer.

A man in a cheap suit but no coat helps his wife with her own. An old school gent in a thrift store suit. His wife walks out with her NHS walking stick, no aesthetics for arthritics’ just basic function. After all, we all want to know who the poor are don’t we.

Two studenty girls, probably roughing it, stroll in, like catwalk pissheads. They are obviously disappointed when no one looks to check them out. They make their way to the toilets to see why.

At five foot 9 I’m no giant, but I seem to tower over the clientele. It would appear that washing your internal organs in beer may shrink you. A warmer wash perhaps, I’ll drink whisky, just in case.

The two student girlies leave without buying a drink they weren’t impressed by the exhibits or the d not feed the animals sign.

My glass runs empty but my pen does not.

 Eight out of 10 adults count themselves as pub goers and more than 15 million people drink in a pub at least once a week.

There are approximately 54,000 pubs in the UK.

–– ADVERTISEMENT ––

More than 600,000 people rely on pubs for their employment.

The longest Pub name in England is: "The Old Thirteenth Cheshire Astley Volunteer Rifleman Corps Inn in Stalybridge", in Greater Manchester.

In Scotland many pubs fashion themselves as "hotels" because until 1976 Scottish law decreed that only hotels could serves alcohol on Sundays.

Even as long ago as 965 AD the government stepped in to curb Britain's drinking habits, when King Edgar passed a law stating that there should be no more than one alehouse per village.

The use of animals as pubs names was introduced because at the time most of the country was illiterate. This resulted in pictures of swans, horses or dogs being used to mark houses where beer was brewed.

The most popular pub name in Britain is the "Red Lion", with "The Crown" following closely behind.

That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing

Bruce Masters (UK) has visited 46,495 pubs and various drinking establishments since 1960, sampling the local brew where available, as of 29 January 2014.

Oliver Reed once said, "I want to drink in every pub and sleep with every woman"

Random Joke of the Day

I keep having recurring nightmares about fruit machines. My wife has been really supportive, she wakes me up with a nudge, and then holds me.

Bargain Book

Did you get a kindle or e-book reader for Xmas? Then as a New Years gift from me you can now buy

my recent release, "Tales of the Unexpected" for the amazing low price of £1.99 (cheaper than a cup

of coffee) 

CHECK OUT THE 5 STAR REVIEWS -

B Silver
5.0 out of 5 starsGreat diverse short stories
28 October 2019
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
Love this writer I bought his previous books and in my opinion this is the best so far. The stories are much more diverse than the others. For a book of short stories there are a lot there, great to pop in and read as and when you want to. Read mine on the train, I laughed out loud at one point making my fellow passengers jump out of their seats. Recommended read....

YOU CAN FIND IT ON AMAZON NOW !

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B07YSVC6TT…

International Nothing Day

International Nothing Day

In Today's Not Quite There Issue

International Nothing Day
Nothing
Nothingness
That's Amaaaazing
Random Joke

Bargain Book
National Nothing Day is quite simply... a day for nothing.
This day is an "un-event". The expectation is that we do not create or otherwise promote this day. In other words, we do nothing. And, to say anything more would contradict the purpose of this day.
Celebrate this day by doing....nothing. Of course, that assumes that doing nothing is okay with your boss.

I'm Without

Nothing, nada, nowt

An absence, a void

A gap, whiteness, blackness

Does that quote Freud?

A Vacuum, a distance

Zero, zilch

Nobody, nothing, naught

A skip or a glitch

Oblivion, obliteration

Diddly squat

No mark, no score

No living inkspot

Nihilist, nix

Nullity, empty, bare

I looked for myself

But I wasn’t there.

Nothingness 

There is vastly more nothing than something. Roughly 74 percent of the universe is “nothing,” or what physicists call dark energy; 22 percent is dark matter, particles we cannot see. Only 4 percent is baryonic matter, the stuff we call something.

And even something is mostly nothing. Atoms overwhelmingly consist of empty space. Matter’s solidity is an illusion caused by the electric fields created by subatomic particles.

There is more and more nothing every second. In 1998 astronomers measuring the expansion of the universe determined that dark energy is pushing apart the universe at an ever-accelerating speed. The discovery of nothing—and its ability to influence the fate of the cosmos—is considered the most important astronomical finding of the past decade.

But even nothing has a weight. The energy in dark matter is equivalent to a tiny mass; there is about one pound of dark energy in a cube of empty space 250,000 miles on each side.

In space, no one can hear you scream: Sound, a mechanical wave, cannot travel through a vacuum. Without matter to vibrate through, there is only silence.

Light can travel through a vacuum, but there is nothing to refract it. Alas for extraterrestrial romantics, stars do not twinkle in outer space.

Black holes are not holes or voids; they are the exact opposite of nothing, being the densest concentration of mass known in the universe.

“Zero” was first seen in cuneiform tablets written around 300 B.C. by Babylonians who used it as a placeholder (to distinguish 36 from 306 or 360, for example). The concept of zero in its mathematical sense was developed in India in the fifth century.

Any number divided by zero is . . . nothing, not even zero. The equation is mathematically impossible.

Vacuums do not suck things. They create spaces into which the surrounding atmosphere pushes matter.

Creatio ex nihilo, the belief that the world was created out of nothing, is one of the most common themes in ancient myths and religions.

Current theories suggest that the universe was created out of a state of vacuum energy, that is, nothing.

But to a physicist there is no such thing as nothing. Empty space is instead filled with pairs of particles and antiparticles, called virtual particles, that quickly form and then, in accordance with the law of energy conservation, annihilate each other in about 10-25 second.

These virtual particles popping in and out of existence create energy. In fact, according to quantum mechanics, the energy contained in all the power plants and nuclear weapons in the world doesn’t equal the theoretical energy contained in the empty spaces between these words.

In other words, nothing could be the key to the theory of everything.

That's Amaaaaaaaaazing

"Borrowing" your neighbor's Wifi is illegal in Singapore.

Random Joke of the Day

My doctor asked me how I felt after swallowing 3 caterpillars . 

"I've got butterflies in my stomach", I replied!

Bargain Book

Did you get a kindle or e-book reader for Xmas? Then as a New Years gift from me you can now buy

my recent release, "Tales of the Unexpected" for the amazing low price of £1.99 (cheaper than a cup

of coffee) 

CHECK OUT THE 5 STAR REVIEWS -

B Silver
5.0 out of 5 starsGreat diverse short stories
28 October 2019
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
Love this writer I bought his previous books and in my opinion this is the best so far. The stories are much more diverse than the others. For a book of short stories there are a lot there, great to pop in and read as and when you want to. Read mine on the train, I laughed out loud at one point making my fellow passengers jump out of their seats. Recommended read....

YOU CAN FIND IT ON AMAZON NOW !

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B07YSVC6TT…