Woman

In Today's Issue

Woman
Trivial Top 10
That's Amaaaaazing
Random Joke
Bargain Book

Woman

I’m not a size ten

Never been petite

Suffered throes of passion

Or lived with conceit

In height I’m bereft

No leggy lofty form

Not even 5 foot

The UK norm

My face is not symmetrical

No make-up would repair

No artists canvass

A painter would despair

But inside this frame

An esoteric fact

No yesterday woman

No submissive artefact

There beats a heart of a lion

Someone once said

But this strength lays within

My chest, my breast, my head

Society sees me simply

A frail and withered maid

But this country was built

On my slave trade.

So when you see me

Look beyond the shell

A soldier, a builder, a mother

The stories I could tell

N R

TOP 10 Richest Women in the World

10. Beate Hesiter (founder of Aldi)

Net worth: $13.

9. Iris Fontbona (Chilean Billionaire)

Net worth: $13.7 billion

8. Abigail Johnson (American Business Woman)

Net worth: $14.4 billion

7. Gina Rinehart (Australian, money made via mining)

Net worth: $15 billion

6. Laurene Powell Jobs (Widow of Steve Jobs)

Net worth: $20 billion

5. Susanne Klatten (German Heiress)

Net worth: $20.4 billion

4. Maria Franca Fissolo (Owner of Ferraro)

Net worth: $25.2 billion

3. Jacqueline Mars (Mars Heiress)

Net worth: $27 billion

2. Alice Walton (Walmart Heiress

Net worth: $33.8 billion

1. Liliane Bettencourt (Lorial)

Net worth: $39.5 billion

That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing

Despite popular beliefs, studies show that woman

 are not less flatulent than men ! 

Random Joke of the Day

How do you make a Pirate angry? Take the 'P' out of him.

Bargain Book

Stuck in the house ? bored  ? Fed Up ? You can now buy my recent release, "Tales of the Unexpected" for the amazing low price of £1.99 (cheaper than a cup

of coffee) 

CHECK OUT THE 5 STAR REVIEWS -

B Silver
5.0 out of 5 stars

Great diverse short stories
28 October 2019
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Love this writer I bought his previous books and in my opinion this is the best so far. The stories are much more diverse than the others. For a book of short stories there are a lot there, great to pop in and read as and when you want to. Read mine on the train, I laughed out loud at one point making my fellow passengers jump out of their seats. Recommended read....

YOU CAN FIND IT ON AMAZON NOW !

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Tales-Unexpected-Neville-Raper/dp/1687345600/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1S5K676ODI5T3&keywords=neville+raper&qid=1584902969&sprefix=neville+r%2Caps%2C239&sr=8-1

About the Author

Neville Raper invented You Tube, has swum the channel twice and is a habitual liar.

He lives in Yorkshire, where just like the locals, he says what he likes and likes what he says.

Broadcaster, Author, blogger, Neville is an occasional stand-up, and regular sit down.

Message from the Author.

Hi, thank you for buying this book unless you stole it, then shame on you.

Seriously, I hope you enjoy the stories within. A lot of people ask where I get the ideas from so I’ve taken the liberty of sharing the inspiration of each one. I hope that this may inspire you to write your own.

I’d like to say that this has been a long hard road to get to this point, but honestly, it hasn’t. I find writing a pleasure and having my work read a joy.

My ultimate goal is to write something that I would like to read and by doing so, hopefully, something you will enjoy reading as well.

So sit back, dim the lights, but not so much that you can’t read, and come with me on a journey.

These are all stories of ‘what if.' for isn’t that what life is all about?

Yours Forever

Neville

NaPoWriMo 2020 Day 3 - Rainbow

NaPoWriMo 2020 Day 3 - Rainbow

NaPoWriMo - National Poetry Writing Month

Web Site

International Rainbow Day

Rainbow

That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaazing

Random Joke of the Day

Buy the BOOK!

NaPoWriMo, or National Poetry Writing Month, is an annual project in which participating poets attempt to write a poem a day for the month of April.

Maureen Thorson, a poet and publisher of Big Game Books announced the project March 17, 2003 as an online project on her blog. She invited other poets with blogs to join her in the project and listed the participating poets. Thorson has continued to run the project each year on her blog with more poets participating as the word has spread about the project.

If you want more information the please visit the site :-

http://www.napowrimo.net

The month of April brings spring showers. After those showers, the sun comes out and a rainbow often appears. This makes today, the perfect time to celebrate Find a Rainbow Day! We don't always hope for rain in an already rainy month. But, in order to truly enjoy this day, you need rain in order to see a rainbow. And, if you are really lucky, you may see a rare double rainbow. Make sure you have your camera at the ready, so you can capture the moment.

Alright, let's all go back to our school science class days for a moment, to remember exactly how a rainbow is formed. A rainbow is a meteorological phenomena. A rainbow is bent, refracted white light, forming all the colours of the light spectrum. In high school, your science teacher used a prism, to demonstrate this dispersion of light into its primary colours. When you see a rainbow, it's the same principle as the prism. Water particles in the air act as a prism to bend light, forming the rainbow.

Do You Remember? If you know Roy G. Biv, advance to the head of the class! Roy G. Biv was the name science teachers used, to help us to memorize the major colors of the white light spectrum, in the order with which they appear in a rainbow. They are: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet.

Here's another fact you may not know: A rainbow is actually a circle. But, rainbows are low in the sky, with the bottom half lost in the earth.

Rainbow

Grey and grey

and greyer and grey

Grey and grey and greeeey

I can sing a rainbow

Sing a rainbow

Sing a rainbow too

(Shame I can't see it though

Colourblind !)

That's Amaaaaaaaaazing

These seven colours in the rainbow are just the main ones, a rainbow is actually made up of an entire range of colours, any colour you’ve ever seen, even colours you haven’t seen! Nobody sees colours the same, everyone’s eyes react differently depending on how much light there is, so some people may see more colours than what you see.

Random Joke of the Day

A fun thing to do would be to call Best Western Hotels and when they answer:

“Hello Best Western”, reply: “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly!”

Bargain Book

Stuck in the house ? bored  ? Fed Up ? You can now buy my recent release, "Tales of the Unexpected" for the amazing low price of £1.99 (cheaper than a cup

of coffee) 

CHECK OUT THE 5 STAR REVIEWS -

B Silver
5.0 out of 5 stars

Great diverse short stories
28 October 2019
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Love this writer I bought his previous books and in my opinion this is the best so far. The stories are much more diverse than the others. For a book of short stories there are a lot there, great to pop in and read as and when you want to. Read mine on the train, I laughed out loud at one point making my fellow passengers jump out of their seats. Recommended read....

YOU CAN FIND IT ON AMAZON NOW !

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Tales-Unexpected-Neville-Raper/dp/1687345600/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1S5K676ODI5T3&keywords=neville+raper&qid=1584902969&sprefix=neville+r%2Caps%2C239&sr=8-1

FIX

The 'subscribe button' has now been fixed. Simply add your e-mail and get this drivel delivered straight to you !!!

Help me Rondea

In Today's Issue

Rondeau 

Sofa so good

Sofa

Random Joke of the Day

That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing

Funny Fobia

New Release

A Rondeau is a short poem consisting of fifteen lines that have two rhymes throughout. The first few words or phrase from the first line are repeated twice in the poem as a refrain.

Sofa So Good

The sofa calls me to my rest

Like mewling babe embraced by breast

Swallowed up encased in leather

Enveloped against the weather

I have a home for that I’m blessed

It is MY sofa I’m no guest

Place for me somewhere to tether

My safety sofa.

I sink myself into headrest

Hide within when I am stressed

Place to get myself together

Stuffed with bird death their own feathers

I leave a dent, am I depressed

My safety sofa.

The word ‘sofa’ dates back to 2000BC Egypt and derives from the Arabic word ‘suffah’ (which loosely translates as ‘bench’).

Over it’s lifespan the average sofa will host around 782 visitors. That’s a lot of bums on seats!

It will also be witness to 293 arguments, but 1,369 cuddles.

Your sofa will be used 489 times as a bed – 293 of those nights on the sofa will be the result of a domestic disputes !

People sit on their sofa for an average of 4 hours each day.

We find on average £1.80 is lost down the back of the sofa every month. That equates to nearly £180 over the sofa’s lifetime.

We eat 13 meals a month on our sofas – that’s equates to 1,261 meals total.

The average sofa suffers 1,663 spillages over its lifetime. Wine will be spilt on it fortnightly, tea or coffee three times a week, and dinner six times a month.

If you have children, they will jump up and down on your long-suffering sofa 587 times.

You will watch roughly 782 movies whilst sitting on your sofa.

Random Joke of the Day

I've just made a movie about a Tea Bag, it'll be a PG

That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaazing

Men are 6 times more likely to be struck by lightning than women. ( God hates us !! )

FUNNY FOBIA

Cynophobia – The fear of dogs

New Release

Tales of the Unexpected.

In this book we’ll cover such subjects as -  

What happens when two retiring hitmen meet for a final dinner to talk about their past, and probably

limited future.

What’s in a name, oh he’ll tell you but you’ll wish you hadn’t asked.

Is it the love of money or is it’s moneys love for you…we follow a coin to find out.

A failing bookstore takes full advantage of a desperate situation.

And much, much more

This is the third in the highly successful ‘Tales of..’ series.

The stories enclosed are varied but all have a delightful dark pumping vein of humour and twist in the telling.

Satisfaction guaranteed.

About the Author

Neville Raper invented You Tube, has swum the channel twice and is a habitual liar.
He lives in Yorkshire, where just like the locals, he says what he likes and likes what he says.
Broadcaster, Author, blogger, Neville is an occasional stand-up, and regular sit down.

Here is a link

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Tales-Unexpected-Neville-Raper/dp/1687345600/ref=sr_1_4?keywords=Neville+raper&qid=1571492333&sr=8-4 

Memories

Memories

In Today's Issue

Shredder
Memory
Random Joke
That's Amaaaaaaaazing

Shredder

I really need to shred my

Past

To erase its influence

Memories amassed

To burn away

Self-doubt and hate

To remove the ever

Depressive weight

To start renew

Begin again

To wipe and clean

My dirty brain

But like a ghost

In the dark

A repetitive, black

Story arc

How long before

I’m clean and clear

Try wash it off

With drugs and beer

But memory rises

From mental grave

To remind me that

I’m still a slave

But I’ll try again

You never know

This time I might win

Re-set and go!

Memory

There is virtually no limit to the amount of information you can remember

Given how much we seem to forget on a daily basis, it may seem strange but it’s completely true that our brains have an essentially unlimited ‘storage capacity’ for learning. A rough calculation suggests that the brain can store 2.5 PETABYTES of data – that’s 2,500,000 Gigabytes, or 300 years worth of TV !!!!

But we can only remember a handful of things in our ‘short term’ memory

A large part of the reason we seem to forget so much may well be that, whilst our long term memory is virtually limitless, our short term, or ‘working’ memory has a much, much smaller capacity. The original research into short term memory says we can only remember 5 to 9 pieces of information there at any given time, though more recent experiments suggest it may even be as low as 4!

Learning new things produces physical changes in your brain structure

It’s easy to think of the brain as a ‘magical box’ where your thoughts, memories and emotions are kept, but when it comes down to it, the brain is a part of your body just like the heart and your muscles. As such, ‘exercising’ your brain in specific ways – whether that’s learning a new skill such as a musical instrument or a new language, or simply learning new things from a book – produces physical changes in its structure.

Being able to access information quickly (i.e. on the Internet) makes you less likely to remember it

It’s great being able to access almost any piece of information in a few seconds, and resources such as Google, Wikipedia and YouTube have clearly been major parts of a revolution in how we find information. But studies suggest there is an interesting flip-side to being able to access information so conveniently: if the brain knows it can just access it again so easily, it’s less likely to bother remembering the information itself!

We can remember things that didn’t even happen

As time goes on, it can be difficult to know how accurate our memories of an event are – indeed for many of our childhood memories, it can be hard to know for certain whether we’re remembering the firsthand event itself, or are simply recalling a story as told by our parents and from photos or home videos from the time.

But this concept has a far scarier implication which has been studied by psychologists. In an experiment, interviewers were able convince 70% of people they had committed a crime, when in reality they had not.

Testing yourself on information is better than simply rehearsing or re-reading it

The word ‘test’ is probably up there with ‘public speaking’ in terms of it’s ability to absolutely terrify people. No-one likes tests, and even education professionals are arguing that we are tested too much, and it’s getting in the way of ‘real’ education. Indeed, there’s an often-cited quote in education circles:

Memories start forming in the womb – as early as 4 months into a pregnancy!

Known as prenatal or foetal memory, experiments have shown that foetuses can in fact remember sounds that are played to them, supporting many anecdotal claims by mothers that their newly-born children are calmed by certain sounds playing in their environment. In fact, scientists now believe that prenatal memory is crucial in the development of attachment for an infant to it’s mother.

Random Joke of the DayWhen I was little, there was no internet. So people would sometimes have to walk for miles just to call me names.

That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing 

You cannot snore and dream at the same time.

Happy Birthday !!

In Today's Birthday Issue

Happy Birthday
Thank You
Word to your Mother
That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing
Random Joke

Happy Birthday

Well this Blog has been going for just over two years now so thought it's about time I said thank you, to you, the reader. So far this year the readership has gone up from a modest 100 a day to nearly 1k.
This year over 70,000 have clicked on this little blog and read my ramblings. Hopefully, I've entertained you, made you think, made you smile.

I have plans this year to improve this site and offer rewards for readers. If you have any ideas how I could improve, wish to contribute or comment please click on the link on the left or e-mail me at :-

Creativewriter2018@outlook.com

Love you all !

Thank you for reading

You are oh so clever

For my mission to you

My only endeavour

Is to make you smile

And also think

Even though

My rhymes might stink

But you know better

Coz you’re so bright

To read my page

Both day and night

My friend, my pal

My chum, my mate

I love you all

And think you’re great

So thanks again

You beautiful folk

Let's enjoy a laugh

And share a joke

Word of the day: SNERDLE - to wrap up cozily in bed


That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaazing

Mary Wheaton and Pat Shardelow (both USA) have been exchanging the same birthday card since 1944.

Random Joke of the Day

I've been invited to my first Constipation Anonymous Meeting next Monday. Unfortunately, there is no way I can go