Flash Fiction

In Today's Issue

Flash Fiction
300 Words
That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing
Random Joke
Word
Horoscopes for the week
New Release

Flash fiction is fictional work of extreme brevity, that still offers character and plot development, including the Six-Word Story, 140-character stories, also known as "twitterature", the "dribble" (50 words), the "drabble" , also known as "microfiction"(100 words),^["sudden fiction" (750 words), flash fiction (1000 words), nanotales and "micro-story".Some commentators have also suggested that some flash fiction possesses a unique literary quality, e.g. the ability to hint at or imply a larger story.

I was asked to come up with something in 300 
words and was given the prompt of 'wedding dress'. 
This is what I came up with.


300 Words

“Filthy dirty cheating bitch.” I look at our wedding photo. How good did we look, she in her 
Grandmother’s old dress, me in full dress uniform. We were full of promise, hope and 
potential, the American dream. Then we crashed, the bankers gambled with our money 
and lost. The Men on the hill told us cuts must be made; we must tighten our belts. 
Them in their five hundred dollar suits and ten dollar tans. The army let me go to help the
economy, I’d done my duty and was dismissed. Ejected like an empty shell. No jobs, all 
I could do was kill, not a skill admired in this civilised town. 


So I drank, and she stayed away. I’d checked her phone and saw the messages.
Love letters in fifty characters, the sender given a fake name to hide in her address book. 
The enemy always hides.I find her dress of vows and veils and burn it. Confetti flecks
of husband and wife ash float into the sky.

I bet they all knew; this is a small town, everyone knows everyone. Her parents, the
bastards sour at our lack of offspring they would be supporting the adultress. 
All laughing at the used useless man. I’d make her pay; I’d make them all pay. 
I was always good at my job. I kiss the flag, cheap; China made, the ink comes off on
my lips, red, the blood of my country.

I hear their voices rejoicing in union, exalting a God who spits on them from high. 
The things I saw on the battlefield would make them denounce him instantly.
 I fought for them; I bled for them, they will bleed for me.


I feel the M16 in my hands, flick to full auto and step into the church.

That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing

Legend has it that Ernest Hemingway won a bet by writing the six-word story “For sale: baby shoes. Never worn.” Hoping to cash in on that story's success, Hemingway wrote some six-word sequels.

Random Joke of the Day

My wife's leaving me because of my obsession with auctions. She's going once....going twice......( or going going gone )

Word

MATUTOLYPEA - the state of being ill-tempered in the morning

This weeks Extremely Accurate Horoscopes With  Paul T Gyce

Hello, I've been expecting you. My name is Paul T Gyce I have been an astrologer to the stars for over 70 years which is a testament to my skills as I'm 55.

Sit back and wonder how accurate my predictions will be for you, this coming week !!

Aries March 21 – April 20

This week you will meet a tall dark handsome man, unfortunately, he doesn't 

like you.

Your lucky stone this week is Sharon.

Taurus April 21 – May 21

DUCK ! RIGHT NOW DUCK, QUICKLY...

Too late. 

Your lucky colour, now, is red

Gemini May 22 – June 21

Once again, being a Gemini you are in 2 minds, both are in agreement that

you need a haircut, but only on one head.

Lucky Animal - Push Me Pull Me

Cancer June 22 – July 23

MMMM........crab......

Lucky Sauce - Seafood

Leo July 24 – Aug 23

This week you will feel caged, Remember pride comes before a fall,

The mane thing is try to avoid puns.

Your Lucky Food is Zebra

Virgo Aug 24 – Sep 23

Virgo's are brilliant and this week everything will be brilliant because you are so great.

Everyone loves you and you deserve it. If you're not a Virgo... then tough.

Your lucky thing this week is every thing !!

Libra Sept 24 – Oct 23

Libra's are quite astute and will have probably, by now, worked out what star sign

I am. This week you will be asked to weigh something.

Lucky Clothing - A bra...

Scorpio Oct 24 – Nov 22

My ex was a Scorpio and I've never met a nice one. They are fundamentally evil people and will do everything in their power to make sure they get the house, car and your collection of "specialist" video's.... I mean what does she need with 48 video's on ermmmm my hobby. Well I tell you two can play that game, I'm keeping her underwear, It fits me better than her anyway.

Famous Scorpio's 

Crippin

Adolf Hitler

Vlad The Impaler

Danny La Rue

Sagittarius Nov 23 – Dec 22

Just what is a Sagittarius ? I mean I get the rest, animals, things, but this ??? nope.

Any ways, no idea what's going to happen to you as I have no idea what you are.... Oh, sometime this week you will breath.

Lucky Word - Meh !

Capricorn Dec 23 – Jan 20

This week, just like a goat you will over eat. Just try not to eat underwear some of that stuff is really expensive.

Lucky Saying - Who ate all the pies.

Lucky Number - 3.14159265359

Aquarius Jan 21 – Feb 19

By now I'm getting a bit tired, the spirits running through me are becoming dry. I need fluid, and ironically this is your sign. This week you will be rained on.

Lucky Fluid - Rain

Pisces Feb 20 – March 20

Why is it that Pisces is always last on the list, I mean it doesn't make any sense, the year begins with January so shouldn't it start with Capricorn ?

It's all barmy really, Anyways the constellation says that this week you will

find yourself in a room and forget why you went in there for in the first place. Don't worry you're not losing it, it's already gone.

Lucky Dating Site - Plenty Of Fish

Tales of the Unexpected.

In this book we’ll cover such subjects as -  

What happens when two retiring hitmen meet for a final dinner to talk about their past, and probably

limited future.

What’s in a name, oh he’ll tell you but you’ll wish you hadn’t asked.

Is it the love of money or is it’s moneys love for you…we follow a coin to find out.

A failing bookstore takes full advantage of a desperate situation.

And much, much more

This is the third in the highly successful ‘Tales of..’ series.

The stories enclosed are varied but all have a delightful dark pumping vein of humour and twist in the telling.

Satisfaction guaranteed.

About the Author

Neville Raper invented You Tube, has swum the channel twice and is a habitual liar.
He lives in Yorkshire, where just like the locals, he says what he likes and likes what he says.
Broadcaster, Author, blogger, Neville is an occasional stand-up, and regular sit down.

Here is a link

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Tales-Unexpected-Neville-Raper/dp/1687345600/ref=sr_1_4?keywords=Neville+raper&qid=1571492333&sr=8-4 

Help me Rondea

In Today's Issue

Rondeau 

Sofa so good

Sofa

Random Joke of the Day

That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing

Funny Fobia

New Release

A Rondeau is a short poem consisting of fifteen lines that have two rhymes throughout. The first few words or phrase from the first line are repeated twice in the poem as a refrain.

Sofa So Good

The sofa calls me to my rest

Like mewling babe embraced by breast

Swallowed up encased in leather

Enveloped against the weather

I have a home for that I’m blessed

It is MY sofa I’m no guest

Place for me somewhere to tether

My safety sofa.

I sink myself into headrest

Hide within when I am stressed

Place to get myself together

Stuffed with bird death their own feathers

I leave a dent, am I depressed

My safety sofa.

The word ‘sofa’ dates back to 2000BC Egypt and derives from the Arabic word ‘suffah’ (which loosely translates as ‘bench’).

Over it’s lifespan the average sofa will host around 782 visitors. That’s a lot of bums on seats!

It will also be witness to 293 arguments, but 1,369 cuddles.

Your sofa will be used 489 times as a bed – 293 of those nights on the sofa will be the result of a domestic disputes !

People sit on their sofa for an average of 4 hours each day.

We find on average £1.80 is lost down the back of the sofa every month. That equates to nearly £180 over the sofa’s lifetime.

We eat 13 meals a month on our sofas – that’s equates to 1,261 meals total.

The average sofa suffers 1,663 spillages over its lifetime. Wine will be spilt on it fortnightly, tea or coffee three times a week, and dinner six times a month.

If you have children, they will jump up and down on your long-suffering sofa 587 times.

You will watch roughly 782 movies whilst sitting on your sofa.

Random Joke of the Day

I've just made a movie about a Tea Bag, it'll be a PG

That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaazing

Men are 6 times more likely to be struck by lightning than women. ( God hates us !! )

FUNNY FOBIA

Cynophobia – The fear of dogs

New Release

Tales of the Unexpected.

In this book we’ll cover such subjects as -  

What happens when two retiring hitmen meet for a final dinner to talk about their past, and probably

limited future.

What’s in a name, oh he’ll tell you but you’ll wish you hadn’t asked.

Is it the love of money or is it’s moneys love for you…we follow a coin to find out.

A failing bookstore takes full advantage of a desperate situation.

And much, much more

This is the third in the highly successful ‘Tales of..’ series.

The stories enclosed are varied but all have a delightful dark pumping vein of humour and twist in the telling.

Satisfaction guaranteed.

About the Author

Neville Raper invented You Tube, has swum the channel twice and is a habitual liar.
He lives in Yorkshire, where just like the locals, he says what he likes and likes what he says.
Broadcaster, Author, blogger, Neville is an occasional stand-up, and regular sit down.

Here is a link

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Tales-Unexpected-Neville-Raper/dp/1687345600/ref=sr_1_4?keywords=Neville+raper&qid=1571492333&sr=8-4 

Ekphrastic Poetry

In Today's (very late) Issue

Ekphrastic Poetry
We Danced on the Sand
Trivial Top 10
That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing
Random Joke of the Day
New Release


Ekphrastic poetry explores art. Using a rhetorical device known as ekphrasis, the poet engages with a painting, drawing, sculpture, or other form of visual art. Poetry about music and dance might also be considered a type of ekphrastic writing.

The term ekphrastic (also spelled ecphrastic) originates from a Greek expression for description. The earliest ekphrastic poems were vivid accounts of real or imagined scenes. Through effusive use of details, writers in ancient Greece aspired to transform the visual into the verbal. Later poets moved beyond description to reflect on deeper meanings. Today, the word ekphrastic can refer to any literary response to a non-literary work.

Key Terms

Ekphrastic poetry: Poetry about a work of art
Actual ekphrasis: Writing about an artwork that exists
Notional ekphrasis: Writing about an imagined work of art

I was provided with the below picture and asked to come up with some writing to accompany it....

We Danced on the Sand

We sang as we danced and danced as we sang

Our help tried to shield us as best they could

With batwing brollies.

They tried but were no protection against that wind of change

How beautiful she was crimson dressed.

Our song carried and joined the gale force choir

It cycloned back as all things do.

But it had changed

We all danced now in red stained shoes

A staccato beat by musicians with a different flag

Their chords tight on white hot instruments.

I looked down and saw my shadow on rusted sand

She’s here with me again in that cardinal dress.

Her skin is so white and I can’t hear her song.

I look down and my shadow has gone

The shells are on the beach

The shells are on the beach

TOP 10 1st Wedding Dances 2019

10. Ed Sheeran and Beyonce – Perfect (Duet)

9. Ellie Goulding – How Long Will I Love You

8. Jason Mraz – I Won’t Give Up

7. Ray LaMontagne – You Are The Best Thing

6. Christina Perri – A Thousand Years

5. Elvis Presley – Can’t Help Falling in Love

4. John Legend – All of Me

3. Etta James – At Last

2. Ed Sheeran – Thinking Out Loud

1. Ed Sheeran – Perfect

That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing

Kalamandalam Hemalatha has shown the world why she's known as “the dancing queen of Kerala.” On January 6, Guinness World Records confirmed that she had set a world record for the “longest dance marathon by an individual.” Beginning on September 20, she shook her hips and wiggled her neck for 123 hours and 15 minutes

Random Joke of the Day

Got some insect repellant spray, it says on the can that it may cause hallucinations. Personally I don't believe it but the flies swear it's true.

New Release

Coming in October the third in the 'Tales of..' Trilogy.

It will be available on Kobo, Kindle, Amazon and Barnes Noble.

In the meantime here is a link to my Amazon Author's Page.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Neville-Raper/e/B0759Z1D25

Mark Wilson

In Today's Issue

Mark Wilson

Parkinsons

Can I speak my Mind

MARK WILSON

I have recently published an anthology of pieces of work written for, and about people who have suffered from mental health issues. More of that later.

One of the contributers was Mark Wilson. 

This is a poem by Mark Wilson.  Mark is a dad of two and was a private hire driver.  At the young age of forty Mark was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease.

This brutally honest piece is about how this affected him and how it showed him, perhaps, the true meaning of love.

Parkinson’s

The time had come and I'd had enough

I felt so down things had become very tough

I felt on my own nobody cared

I felt so useless and very scared

Nobody loved me or had a thought for me

This was the only way out I could see

I climbed upstairs and sat on my bed

Dark thoughts were running round my head

I poured the drink and put tablets in my hand

When they found me I'm sure they'd understand

Just why I had to do it why I had to get out

They'd be better off without me I had no doubt

I sat back and was ready to end it all

My phone then rang so I answered the call

It was my daughter to ask if I was ok

I couldn't tell her what I was doing that day

It was then I had a change of mind

How could I leave them my loved ones behind?

I was being selfish to all my family and friends

It's them that would be suffering in the end

People did love me now I was sure

Even if I didn't realise all this before

Parkinson

1. Every hour someone in the UK is told they have Parkinson's.

2. There isn’t just one type of Parkinson’s.

There may be five or more types of Parkinson’s according to researchers at Oxford Parkinson’s Disease Centre, which are categorised on factors such as type of symptom and progression of the condition.

3. Everyone is different - no two people with Parkinson’s will have exactly the same symptoms.

4. People sometimes find sufferers can look disinterested or distant.  Parkinson’s can affect people’s facial muscles, giving some people a ‘mask’ or a sombre expression, rather than reflecting their emotions.

5. Although Parkinson’s can affect a person’s movement, it’s often the unseen symptoms such as pain and fatigue which can have the greater impact on people’s quality of life .

Experts say the large number of symptoms can make the disease difficult to diagnose.

6. There’s no cure. Sadly despite scientific advances, there still is no cure for Parkinson’s – something scientific research, and charity  Parkinson’s UK is working to change.

7. A new treatment might be just around the corner.

Recent research has shown that drugs used to treat cancer and liver conditions may hold promise to treating Parkinson’s.

8. The answer to the condition could be in our genes.

Although still in the early stages, Parkinson’s UK is funding research to develop gene therapy – an innovative approach which uses genes to slow or halt the development of Parkinson’s.

9. It also affects younger people: Although it is more common in older people, people under the age of 40 years can develop symptoms.

10. There is help available to sufferers of the disease. Parkinson's UK is the UK's leading charity supporting those with the condition.

Its mission is to find a cure and improve life for everyone affected by Parkinson's through cutting edge research, information, support and campaigning.

Mark has recently released a book of his poetry you can find more about it here :-

https://markwilsonpoetry.co.uk/product/hostage-mind-ebook/?fbclid=IwAR02ACNwCcReBcblqP_6v5fAADku97ZUm4-gi0QM7eKEavtW8H_ODchFoT8

Can I Speak My Mind ?

New Release - 

Can I Speak My Mind is a collection of short stories and poetry written by, for and about people who have been affected by mental health issues.

Some of the pieces are heartbreaking, some are hopeful, some are even funny…but what they all are is honest.

All profits from the sale of this book will go to mental health charities.

By buying this anthology you have contributed to people who go that extra mile to help sufferers in the community. These groups volunteer selflessly. Your money will help them to continue providing much needed support.

So well done you, you are a hero.

Here is a link to the Amazon page - 

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Can-I-Speak-My-Mind/dp/1728787599/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1541082559&sr=8-4&keywords=can+I+speak+my+mind 

Can I Speak My Mind

Neville Raper is a Broadcaster, Poet, Author, Playwriter and a blogger. He is an occasional stand up, regular sit down.

His award winning books can be found on Amazon, Kobo, Barnes Noble and Kindle.