Singles Awareness Day

Its the day after the horror that was Valentines Day, so obviously today is international :-

Singles Awareness Day

Singles Awareness Day is for those who are unattached, and without a significant other. It is celebrated the day after Valentine's Day.

Valentine's Day, celebrates love and romance for those  currently in a relationship. However, if you  are in between relationships, and without a significant other, you may feel left out. Valentine's Day can be a depressing day. So, the day after Valentine's Day is your day.

Singles Awareness Day traditions include:

• Singles get together. It's a chance to meet.
• Singles give each other gifts
• Spend a little time in online dating sites
• You can celebrate and enjoy the fact that you are unattached.

Positives of today -

Chocolate will be half price !!!

You can spend all day in your pants, or someone elses !

You can sleep around.....by that I mean around the bed.....obviously

One night stand !? forget it, you can have two, either side of the bed !

You can fart to your hearts content...

The TV remote is yours !!!!

So enjoy this day...........and think of the money you've saved !

Oh and just in case...That's Amaaaaaaazing

Most expensive dating service

If you’re looking for love this Valentine’s Day, this service may be a little out of budget…

Orly the Matchmaker of Beverly Hills, California, USA, has been running an upscale international introductions company for the last 25 years – the most expensive service of its kind in the world.

Run by a former model, Orly’s world-renowned, old-fashioned matchmaking skills are available for a steep membership fee that can cost up to $100,000 (£70,000).

Random Joke of the Day

A typo cost me my job in IT. I actually wanted the temp to ‘unzip my files’.

Want to see what other guff I write pop over to my Authors page on Amazon. Just paste the below link in your browser.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Neville-Raper/e/B0759Z1D25%3Fref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share

NaPoWriMo Day 4 - International Tell a Lie Day

NaPoWriMo Day 4 - International Tell a Lie Day

In Today's Issue - NaPoWriMo Day 4 - International Tell a Lie Day

NaPoWriMo Day 4
International Tell a Lie Day
Liar Liar My Pants are on Fire
Lies Your Parents Tell You
That's Amaaaaazing
Random Joke

Buy the Book

NaPoWriMo, or National Poetry Writing Month, is an annual project in which participating poets attempt to write a poem a day for the month of April.

Maureen Thorson, a poet and publisher of Big Game Books announced the project March 17, 2003 as an online project on her blog. She invited other poets with blogs to join her in the project and listed the participating poets. Thorson has continued to run the project each year on her blog with more poets participating as the word has spread about the project.

If you want more information the please visit the site :-

http://www.napowrimo.net

International Tell a Lie Day

Tell a Lie Day.....  if you ever need to tell a lie, today is the day to do so. 

While the name suggests that the holiday encourages people to tell lies all day long, I would like to think that the day is not an actual celebration of lying but an acknowledgment that lying is part of life, and sometimes people have to lie to make others feel better. Such lies are called white lies and are possibly the only form of lying acceptable within most religions, cultures, and societies.

Other acceptable forms of lying include: lying while playing a game (bluffing), lies made for the purposes of amusement of the liar or other people (jocose lies), and untruthful statements made without any malicious intent (honest lie).

...that a true or false response to the question this statement is not true leads to a contradiction called the Liar's Paradox? If the response to this statement is that it is true, then the statement is false, and if the response to the statement is that it is false, then the statement is true.

SPANKING NEW POEM - Liar Liar My Pants are on Fire

I never lie and that's
the truth
Back through time
From now to Youth

I didnt do it
It was already broke
I wasn't there
It was just a joke

White lies don't
count
Unless you tell
the wrong amount

So let me say
In an honest way
I'm six foot tall
and wear a toupee

LIES YOUR PARENTS TELL YOU

THE BIG LIE - "Santa Claus will come to bring you presents on Christmas Eve" Nearly 88% of us are guilty of this one, whether just to make your kid smile or to get them to shape up or else! Made it through another year without my kids figuring out this one. Fingers crossed for next year.

THE SILVER MEDAL FIB - "If you don't come with me now, I'll leave you here by yourself" Almost 68% of us have said this in order to scare our little ones into action because it's either that or you're going to carry them out under your arm kicking and screaming.

ROUNDING OUT THE TOP 3 - "If you put this tooth under your pillow, the Tooth Fairy will bring you money" Again around two-thirds (66%) of us tell this story to watch the wonder in our kids eyes. My young ones still have plenty of teeth left to lose, on with the glitter and fairy notes.

THE RUNNER UP LIE - "That's beautiful piano playing" Ouch!! 60% of us parents have said this to encourage our kids to keep it up cause we know they'll get better... soon... hopefully...

LIE #5 - "There's no more candy in the house" This one has been known to backfire. Whenever I say this it prompts my kids to go looking for the 'missing' candy and 58% of us have tried to get our kids to buy this falsehood. And the little buggers probably have their own stash anyway.

LIE #6 - "We can come back and buy you that toy next time" HA! Try not to over-use this or they'll end up calling your bluff "Yeah, right dad... That's what you said LAST time." 48% say this. The "I have no money" one still works on mine. Cause, I don't.

LIE #7 - "If you don't quiet down and behave, that lady over there will be angry with you" These last four lies including this one I've never used but alas, 35% of you have. I think I still behave to this day because I'm afraid of getting yelled at.

LIE #8 - "I didn't bring money with me today" 33% of parents seem to suffer from financial amnesia when out shopping. Be careful, as they age they'll start to wonder why you always shop with no money.

LIE #9 - "If you lie to someone, your nose will grow" A tad over 21% of you have actually tried this one and I'm betting your little ones gave you a quizzical look as most kids know everything in a movie is fake. you'll have better luck telling them that their pants will be on fire, from your boot!

AND THE LAST LIE - "If you don't follow me, a kidnapper will come grab you" 18% of you have actually said this and I gotta say, I'd never use this one. It's too close to truth and feels more like a warning than a lie. Be prepared for paranoia if you try this.

That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing

The most lies told in 30 seconds - New York City, New York, United States / March 17, 2010

Kevin Joyce told 14 lies about himself in 30 seconds. ( I'm sure I can beat that )

RANDOM JOKE OF THE DAY...

 When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo, I had to put my foot down.

Bargain Book

Stuck in the house ? bored  ? Fed Up ? You can now buy my recent release, "Tales of the Unexpected" for the amazing low price of £1.99 (cheaper than a cup

of coffee) 

CHECK OUT THE 5 STAR REVIEWS -

B Silver
5.0 out of 5 stars

Great diverse short stories
28 October 2019
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Love this writer I bought his previous books and in my opinion this is the best so far. The stories are much more diverse than the others. For a book of short stories there are a lot there, great to pop in and read as and when you want to. Read mine on the train, I laughed out loud at one point making my fellow passengers jump out of their seats. Recommended read....

YOU CAN FIND IT ON AMAZON NOW !

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Tales-Unexpected-Neville-Raper/dp/1687345600/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1S5K676ODI5T3&keywords=neville+raper&qid=1584902969&sprefix=neville+r%2Caps%2C239&sr=8-1

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