Witches Knickers

In Today's Issue

Witches Knickers by Anne Rhodes
Did you Know ? ... Witches
Friday's Advice Column with Anna Fender
Random Joke of the Day
That's Amaaaaaaaaaazing
Finish with a Song

Witches Knickers by Anne Rhodes

WITCHES KNICKERS        © Anne Rhodes

I heard on the radio, the other night,

Of the undies the witches leave behind

As they skim down low from a scary height

On whatever old transport they can find.

Don't ever believe those who swear as true

That broomsticks are all that witches can ride

Because when they're stuck, an old cloud will do

As transport across the dark countryside.

It's when the wind blows through the bare tree twigs

That they lose their knickers for all to see.

They ride far too close, hands holding their wigs,

Then modesty's gone with a one, two, three

What you think you see are thin plastic bags

Twisted and torn caught on those twigs so bare          

But in truth they're the pants, now blown to rags,

Of the witches who forgot to take care.

                                  They rushed on their broomsticks and scraped their knees                                         

Playing chase with their friends from high to low.

They snagged their knickers on those wintry trees

all modesty gone - they've no shame, you know!

You weren't sure that flying witches exist.

There's proof for you with their knickers flapping           

On all the branches in a plastic mist.

Those witches who play and cheer whilst clapping!

Did you Know - Witches
1.A witch is not a satanist. 

2.The broom stick was used for cleansing rituals not for flying. 

3.The witches hat at one time represented authority and the respect from the local community. 

4.Most villages and rural community had a wise women in the past, who were later accused of being an evil witch by the church. 

5.Most women accused of witch craft where innocent that included the many mid-wives. 

6.You wouldn't know a witch if they where speaking to you, there is no preference for clothing nor age. 

7.Witch craft is considered pagan but can have elements of many other religions including Christianity. 

8.Men can be witches. 

9.A witch can be solitary(hedge witch) or belong to a coven. 

10. A witches familiar is not always a cat but can be anything from a spirit to a door mouse.

Fridays Advice Column 

With your host - Anna Fender

Hello everyone, my name is Anna Fender, I have been a specialist in giving advice since I was three months. I remember, at that time, advising my Mummy and Daddy on contraception,
I wanted to be an only child...

This week I've had a letter from a young lady from Barnsley, obviously, in order to ensure I

keep her anonymity I wont tell you her name is Miss Carrie Okie.

Ey Up Anna,

I have a rite shocking  problem with fly away hair.

No matter what I put on it, hairspray, lard ! nothing seems to work. It's always flying about, it looks like I comb it with an egg whisk...

Can you help T'old luv?

Carrie Okie

Dear Barnsley girl,

Yes, of course I can help.

Simply pop down to your local Q and B and buy yourself some
"No more nails" or any such extra strong glue.

Rub it into your hair, as you would your lard, let it set and viola your hair

will never fly away again......never.

Your's Anna

Random Joke of the Day

If you get angry, just relax, take a deep breath and count to 10. Unless of course you're angry about oxygen and numbers.

That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing !

Baked beans aren't baked, they are stewed.


Finish with a Song

This is Witchy Woman by The Eagles released in 1972