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Showing posts with label writer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writer. Show all posts

Tuesday 12 September 2017

The Good Old Days

In Today's Issue

The Good Old Days by Marjory Lacy
The Good Old Days
Question Impossible
Random Joke of The Day
That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing
Finish with a Song




The Good Old Days.

Well,
what comes to mind is
The City Varieties in Leeds.

Did you see it on the Telly?
Have you been there? Really!

My father in law, worked around
The corner, went there for a beer -sound!

As an early customer, he got
The job of sticking tassels on the spot

Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, if you know
What I mean. He would go home, so

Happy, to his little fat wife,
She does not know of his secret life!

He was tall and thin, thin like a
Jockeys’ whip, -

"Jack Spratt could eat no fat
His wife could eat no lean,
So between the two
They licked the platter clean!"

Sorry, I just cannot be serious
The Good Old days were so hilarious.

Marjory Lacy


The Good Old Days

For my non UK readers 'The Good Old Days' was a BBC entertainment programme which ran from 1953 to 1983.
It was performed at the Leeds City Varieties and recreated an authentic atmosphere of the Victorian–Edwardian music hall with songs and sketches of the era performed by present-day performers in the style of the original artistes.

The audience dressed in period costume and joined in the singing, especially "Down at the Old Bull and Bush" which closed the show. The show was compered by Leonard Sachs, who introduced the acts from a desk situated at the side of the stage. In the course of its run it featured about 2,000 performers. Each show was up to an hour long. All acts were in the style of late Victorian/Edwardian stage acts.

Here's a video of the show with a famous UK comedian who, I'm sad to say, passed away in 1993.





Question Impossible
Given that The Good Old Days ran for the 30 years, what is the longest (still) running show on TV?

Answer below




Random Joke of the Day

My old Mum used to say, "Always give your food a rinse before you eat it." Lovely woman, terrible sandwiches.

That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing

The Anglo-Zanzibar war of 1896 is the shortest war on record lasting an exhausting 38 minutes.


Question Impossible....The Answer.

The longest running TV show on the planet is - The American Show 'Meet the Press' which started in 1947 and is still running.

Finish with a Song

Given the theme, this is Yesterday by the Beatles released in 1965



Friday 8 September 2017

Junkie

In Today's Issue

Junkie by Anne Rhodes
Did you Know? Drugs
That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing
Random Joke of the Day
Buy the Book
Finish with a Song





POEM -  JUNKIE???  ©  Anne Rhodes

I am a Junkie! Folk say I am hooked!
A paper-saver – with notes on each side
Printed, hand-written, wherever they looked
When touched each pile makes a paper landslide.

“Look it up again” their despairing cry
“Or file it neatly labelled in boxes”.
“That was the intention,” I give a sigh.
How to use Google adds to my stresses.

It’s better to print and read what I’ve got
To file stuff that’s important from the past.
To save stuff that later might mean a lot
Stuff that in theory I might need fast.

Granted that every flat surface is full
Of poems and stories and other work
Written when housework just doesn’t quite pull
Hobbies that create yet more paperwork!

Yet when I tidy it doesn’t get filed
I put it in carriers to make things neat.
No-one seems happy the way things are piled
How do folks manage this tidying feat?

Unshelved – unread - books all add to the mess.
Question is, really – why isn’t it done?
I should file more and type less I confess,

But without this stuff I couldn’t function!

Submissions

Lots of you have asked how you can submit your own work. Simply contact me via the contact buttons on the right and we'll take it from there. Remember this blog has a global audience of over
2,500 readers a week so this is a great opportunity to get your work out there and, more importantly...READ.

Go for it 





Drugs

1 – Drug addiction and abuse takes its toll on all  – Regardless of whether you struggle with addiction in a personal manner, the emotional and financial impact effect stems throughout every town and community.
2 – Drug addiction and abuse in American costs the taxpayers an average of $484 billion each year, £3.6 Billion in the UK. This number includes lost job wages, healthcare costs, crime, traffic accidents and associated costs of the criminal justice system.
3 – Drug addiction and abuse can be linked to at least ½ of all major crimes committed in the United States, in the UK it rises to 2/3.
4 – Nearly 2/3 of those found in addiction recovery centers report sexual or physical abuse as children. Studies show child abuse to be a major factor in later life drug addiction.
– A stimulant is a drug that provides users with added energy and contentment. Common stimulants include cocaine, amphetamines, nicotine and even caffeine, and can be quite addictive.
6 – Many drugs are addictive due to the chemical changes they impose on the brain. Brain chemistry affects how people act, feel and experience life in a general manner. By changing the equation, these substances can cause permanent harm and even psychosis.
– Any IV drug use increases the risk of HIV exponentially.
– Inhalants encompass an array of office and household products. Users will inhale the fumes emitted by these products to obtain a high. Common inhalants include paints, glues, gas and other chemicals. 
9 – Though a great many people tend to focus their attention on alcohol and illegal drug abuse, the most addictive drugs are often found in the medicine cabinet. Many people become addicted to medications prescribed by a licensed physician to treat chronic pain, anxiety or sleeplessness. Others steal medications from friends and family members or purchase them illegally.
10 – Though marijuana has garnered a reputation as a medicinal cure-all, the drug offers its fair share of side effects, including memory loss, learning issues, clumsiness, altered reality perceptions and increased heart rate. The THC found in marijuana works to inhibit brain function and can result in long-lasting effects even after a user has quit smoking.

There is a helpline for people in the UK who need help and advice about drugs its :

0300 888 3853

In the USA its ;

National 1-800 Crisis Hotline



98% of the DNA in your genes is exactly the same as a chimpanzee’s.


Polaroids. What Eskimos suffer from after sitting down
on the ice for too long.


By the Book

Sorry, blatant plug, but, if you like what you see on here and would like to see it translates into my writing please take a look on Amazon at my new book,

Tales of the Unaccepted


It's 8 short stories all with a twist.
There is an added bonus that, if you buy the book and leave a review, you will end up as a character in my next release due December 2017!



About the Author


Neville Raper invented You Tube, has swum the channel twice and is a habitual liar.
He lives in Yorkshire, where just like the locals, he says what he likes and likes what he says.
Broadcaster, Author, blogger, Neville is an occasional stand-up, and regular sit down.


Message from the Author.

Hi, thank you for buying this book unless you stole it, then shame on you.
Seriously, I hope you enjoy the stories within. A lot of people ask where I get the ideas from so I’ve taken the liberty of sharing the inspiration of each one. I hope that this may inspire you to write your own.
I’d like to say that this has been a long hard road to get to this point, but honestly, it hasn’t. I find writing a pleasure and having my work read a joy.
My ultimate goal is to write something that I would like to read and by doing so, hopefully, something you will enjoy reading as well.
So sit back, dim the lights, but not so much that you can’t read, and come with me on a journey.
These are all stories of ‘what if.' for isn’t that what life is all about?

Yours Forever
Neville


REVIEWS FOR TALES OF THE UNACCEPTED 

Top customer reviews

Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Loved it...a lot of the stories had a twist which I really enjoyed. I also enjoyed the sneak preview of the next book.....
Comment  Looking for voting buttons? Sorry, we don't let customers vote on their own reviews.
Format: Paperback
Sinister,humorous,witty,thought provoking and a real page turner. If you enjoy the unexpected then this book is for you. An excellent read.

Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
It was a pleasure to read this book. Neville Raper is clearly a genuinely funny man. His engaging and self-deprecating sense of humour runs through these stories, but this is a lot more than just a funny book. Some of these stories explore the dark side of life and have a powerful sting in the tail (and tale).
This is not run-of-the-mill fiction. It is different, quirky and original.
I enjoy Neville’s easy style. He says that he enjoys writing and it shows. He has a real way with words. He uses excellent imagery in these pages and reveals himself as an astute observer of mankind.
I look forward to reading more of the work of this very promising writer.

Finish with a Song

This is the Verve with The drugs don't work released in 1997



Thursday 7 September 2017

Flash Poetry



In Today's Issue

Flash Poetry
This weeks Horoscopes
Random Joke of the Day
Finish with a Song




Flash Poetry

Do you have an inner poet? One way to 'dip your toe' is to try short prose.
One good rule to follow is to try and use metaphors, this will help you 'show' your reader what you are trying to say, rather than tell them.

Here's some of my examples.

gold

I watch the gymnastic leaf
tumble, topple and flip in the gutter
when it's done, it lays exhausted

Perhaps waiting for its gold medal.

tick tock

My heart is a clock
It ticks away my
routine heart
Humdrum drum drum
drum

crucifix

I live in the gaps
caused by my losses
The cracks in my life
Hide all my crosses

Torch

I could read in the dark
From the light in your
eyes

n raper 2017


Enjoy? hope so, have a go yourself......oh and send me your examples via the contact button.
They will be seen around the world.



This weeks Extremely Accurate Horoscopes With  Paul T Gyce

Hello, you're late ! As you well know, my name is Paul T Gyce. I've been the astrologer to kings and queens and some kings...

Now, sit back and bask in the wonder of how accurate my predictions will be for you, this coming week !!

Aries March 21 – April 20

This week you will lose 2lb's...It's down the back of the sofa.

Your lucky weight this week is 2lb less than you
weigh right now

Taurus April 21 – May 21

The moon is in ascendancy, I'll be honest
I'm not sure what that means, but I can tell you that this week
you'll have a drink.

Lucky Drink - Tizer and Advocaat


Gemini May 22 – June 21


The sign of the twins, this week you will be in two minds about growing a beard. If you're
a man go for it, if your a woman, give it a try.

Lucky Band ZZ Top

Cancer June 22 – July 23


MMMM........crab......

Lucky side dish, Salad
Leo July 24 – Aug 23

At the start of the week you will be troubled with a feeling that you
have forgotten something, by next Friday, you will realise it was your pants.

Lucky Stone, Sylvester  


Virgo Aug 24 – Sep 23

You would think that given it 2017 it would be cool to be in the garden in underwear.
OK, it wasn't your garden or, your underwear, but still.

Unlucky Number - 999

Libra Sept 24 – Oct 23


This week you may find a large man in your garden in your
under wear, please don't judge.

Lucky Colour - See Through



Scorpio Oct 24 – Nov 22


My ex wife was a Scorpio, so this week you will coming back from a very
expensive holiday with your new boyfriend, the flash one who works at the
gym you go to. No wonder you went every night. I did start to wonder though when you didn't lose any weight, you're still a fat cow....and he dyes his hair !

Lucky Rock... Hudson



Sagittarius Nov 23 – Dec 22


This week you will walk into a bar, there will be a Scotch man and an Irish Man. One of you
will tell a joke.

Lucky Punchline - and then my hat flew off !


Capricorn Dec 23 – Jan 20

Today you will read your horoscope and marvel how accurate it is and
you will tell all your friends.
Lucky Blog - This One...Subscribe


Aquarius Jan 21 – Feb 19




This week you will walk into a bar and meet a Sagittarius she will order a
double entendre and you will give her one.

Lucky Place - Across the road with the chicken



Pisces Feb 20 – March 20

This week you must avoid people with beards as they may be Captain Birdseye
all he wants to do is show you his fishy fingers. 

Unlucky Coating - Bread Crumbs



Random Joke of the Day





Smoking will kill you... Bacon will kill you... But smoking bacon will cure it.


Finish with a Song

This is The Verve with Sonnet released in 1997