Angel

In Today's Issue

Angels by Marjorie Lacy
Trivial Top 10
Random Joke of the Day
That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing
Finish with a Song

GUARDIAN ANGEL

Sleeping on the job?

When I was most in dire need

Just in time you woke

MY SCRUFFY GUARDIAN ANGEL

Dirty face, black eyes

Tattered wings and runny nose

You came up trumps all the same

MY GUARDIAN ANGEL- THANK YOU!

Worn wings, rusty sword

Playing cards with little devils?

You saved me in nick of time

MY SLAPDASH GUARDIAN ANGEL

On a sly fag break?

Eyes closed, feet up on a cloud?

All the same – you star

ANGEL

Blue-eyed Seraphim

Beautiful in silvered wings

Blonde halo of curls

ANGEL WARRIOR

Golden-eyed and strong

Shield raised sword held high prepared

Wings of hardened steel

Today, we look at the UK's
Top 10 favourite biscuits....

10 - Chocolate Fingers ( I know a dirty joke about these ! ) 

9 - Chocolate Bourbon ( Blurgh...not a fan )

8 - Ginger Nut ( Ron Weasley ?? )

7 - Digestive ( or suggestive )

6 - Chocolate Chip Cookie ( The American Invasion !! )

5 - Jaffa Cake ( errrrrrrm there's a clue in the name !! )

4 - Shortbread ( Och eye the noooo )

3 - Custard Cream .....( and a lay down in a darkened room )

2 - Chocolate Hobnob ... Comedy Name..

1 - Chocolate Digestive ......Do you dunk ?

Random Joke of the Day

Last week,I went to the funeral of a dear friend, who was killed in a freak tennis accident. The service was brilliant

The “D” in D-Day stands for “Day”, in other words, “Day-Day”

Finish with a Song

This is Angels by Robbie Williams released in 1997

Escape

In Today's Issue

Escape by Anne Rhodes
Great Escapes
Random Joke of the Day
That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing
Finish with a Song

ESCAPE THE ENEMY                     © Anne Rhodes

Escape – that’s all folk seem to need, to do.

Compared to some, our problems are so small.

Unhappiness or heartache makes us cry.

The funny bits of life can pass us by.

A stubbed toe, a broken arm or finger,

The misery brought on by loneliness.

All these, though large in our own lives as such

Are merely our own emotional crutch.

Are nought, compared to those who flee from fear,

From death or bombs or now from burning homes

A lifetime spent without acknowledgement

Now the need for swift escape is rampant.

Their houses and their property are gone

Frail or babes in arms are carried some way

Escape from fear their only driving force

From cruel villains who have no remorse.

Generations pass still unaccepted

They did not ask to be ignored or shunned

They did not ask for such strong dismissal

Indeed, is such cruel treatment lawful?

Thousands and thousands collapse where they’re told

A banking, a muddy field which gets worse

The more arrive to churn its wat’ry sludge.

Too many to stay so onwards they trudge.

No-one would flee, yet bringing so little -

Walking for frightening mile upon mile

Reaching out for the world to succour them

In their time of need, and their fear to stem.

Our problems shrink to nought when thus compared

Our lives not in the same danger as theirs.

Their poor lives seem worse, the deeper one delves -

We only try to escape from ourselves.

Joseph Bolitho Johns, an Australia bushranger, escaped from prison so many times a special cell was built to hold him. The cell was so strong the Governor promised to forgive his crimes if he could escape again, which he did in 1867.

In 1942, Kazimierz Piechowski, an Auschwitz prisoner, escaped the camp along with three others by dressing up as Nazi officers and stealing a German captain’s car. When they arrived at the gate he simply shouted orders to the guards who let them pass with no questions asked.

Yoshie Shiratori, the “Showa Era escape artist,” is known for having escaped from prison four times by picking locks with wire, sawing floorboards with metal sheet, and digging his way out with a bowl.

In 1934, the Depression-era American gangster, John Dillinger, escaped using a fake pistol he whittled from a potato in his cell to intimidate 33 people before getting real sub-machine guns.

Mark DeFriest made 13 escape attempts, seven of them successful, after he was arrested for “stealing” tools left to him by his father. Believed to be an autistic savant, he could memorize jailors’ keys and reproduce them from anything available to him.

In 1995, Daniel Luther Heiss escaped prison after discovering that the key pictured on his prisoners’ information handbook was the master key for the entire prison, which he replicated.

When his bank loan con started going wrong, Steven Jay Russell feigned a heart attack and was transported to a hospital. There he impersonated an FBI agent and called the hospital on his cell phone to tell them he could be released.

In 2012, Choi Gap-bok used his yoga skills to escape from prison while the prison guards were sleeping by squeezing through the food slot at the bottom of his cell door. The slot measured 5.9 inches tall and 17.7 inches wide.

Random Joke of the Day

Experts say the new iPhone X is so innovative, It revolutionises how we ignore people standing next to us.

That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing

In 1912, a Paris orphanage held a raffle to raise money—the prizes were live babies.

Finish with a Song

Given the theme this is The Escape Song by Rupert Homes released in 1979.

The Good Old Days

In Today's Issue

The Good Old Days by Marjory Lacy
The Good Old Days
Question Impossible
Random Joke of The Day
That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing
Finish with a Song

The Good Old Days.

Well,

what comes to mind is

The City Varieties in Leeds.

Did you see it on the Telly?

Have you been there? Really!

My father in law, worked around

The corner, went there for a beer -sound!

As an early customer, he got

The job of sticking tassels on the spot

Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, if you know

What I mean. He would go home, so

Happy, to his little fat wife,

She does not know of his secret life!

He was tall and thin, thin like a

Jockeys’ whip, -

"Jack Spratt could eat no fat

His wife could eat no lean,

So between the two

They licked the platter clean!"

Sorry, I just cannot be serious

The Good Old days were so hilarious.

Marjory Lacy

The Good Old Days

For my non UK readers 'The Good Old Days' was a BBC entertainment programme which ran from 1953 to 1983.

It was performed at the Leeds City Varieties and recreated an authentic atmosphere of the Victorian–Edwardian music hall with songs and sketches of the era performed by present-day performers in the style of the original artistes.

The audience dressed in period costume and joined in the singing, especially "Down at the Old Bull and Bush" which closed the show. The show was compered by Leonard Sachs, who introduced the acts from a desk situated at the side of the stage. In the course of its run it featured about 2,000 performers. Each show was up to an hour long. All acts were in the style of late Victorian/Edwardian stage acts.

Here's a video of the show with a famous UK comedian who, I'm sad to say, passed away in 1993.

Question Impossible
Given that The Good Old Days ran for the 30 years, what is the longest (still) running show on TV?

Answer below

Random Joke of the Day

My old Mum used to say, "Always give your food a rinse before you eat it." Lovely woman, terrible sandwiches.

That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing

The Anglo-Zanzibar war of 1896 is the shortest war on record lasting an exhausting 38 minutes.

Question Impossible....The Answer.

The longest running TV show on the planet is - The American Show 'Meet the Press' which started in 1947 and is still running.

Finish with a Song

Given the theme, this is Yesterday by the Beatles released in 1965

Swap Ideas Day

In Today's Issue

Swap Ideas Day
My Ideas
Did you know? creative ideas
Random Joke of the Day
That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing
Contribute

Swap Ideas Day

This is the day for us to share and swap ideas and concepts. 

Some ideas are practical some are more abstract, whatever they are they are great to share if only to check their effectiveness.

This site is a great place to share your writing work and ideas and I am more than happy to help you develop that work.

To contribute just use the contact button on the side.

Ideas

Ideas in my head
They bobble around
Mixed with pictures
Sights and sounds

I hear a phrase
I hear a word
I let them fly
My idea bird

A man walks past
in too tight genes
What's his story
Could it mean.....

A woman with 
an ugly dog
Think in digital
or analogue?

So I write them down
for later use
For they will be used
In something obtuse

Did you Know?  Creative Ideas

72% OF PEOPLE HAVE CREATIVE INSIGHTS IN THE SHOWER

THE INTROVERTS ARE ONTO SOMETHING: SOLITUDE IS WHERE CREATIVITY THRIVES

TRYING NEW THINGS MAKES YOU MORE CREATIVE

TRAUMA HAS HIDDEN CREATIVE PROPERTIES

DAYDREAMING IS SURPRISINGLY GOOD FOR YOUR BRAIN

SOME OF THE BEST IDEAS ARE WIDELY RIDICULED BEFORE THEY’RE REVERED

Random Joke of the Day

"I'm sorry," said the barman, "we don't serve time travellers." 

A time traveller walks into a bar.

99.9% of your DNA is identical to that of everyone else in the world.

So, if you've got some writing or poetry you'd like to share to a GLOBAL audience. 

Then submit via the side button. Get you work read !!

Go on, have a go...

Junkie

In Today's Issue

Junkie by Anne Rhodes
Did you Know? Drugs
That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing
Random Joke of the Day
Buy the Book
Finish with a Song

POEM -  JUNKIE???  ©  Anne Rhodes

I am a Junkie! Folk say I am hooked!

A paper-saver – with notes on each side

Printed, hand-written, wherever they looked

When touched each pile makes a paper landslide.

“Look it up again” their despairing cry

“Or file it neatly labelled in boxes”.

“That was the intention,” I give a sigh.

How to use Google adds to my stresses.

It’s better to print and read what I’ve got

To file stuff that’s important from the past.

To save stuff that later might mean a lot

Stuff that in theory I might need fast.

Granted that every flat surface is full

Of poems and stories and other work

Written when housework just doesn’t quite pull

Hobbies that create yet more paperwork!

Yet when I tidy it doesn’t get filed

I put it in carriers to make things neat.

No-one seems happy the way things are piled

How do folks manage this tidying feat?

Unshelved – unread - books all add to the mess.

Question is, really – why isn’t it done?

I should file more and type less I confess,

But without this stuff I couldn’t function!

Submissions

Lots of you have asked how you can submit your own work. Simply contact me via the contact buttons on the right and we'll take it from there. Remember this blog has a global audience of over
2,500 readers a week so this is a great opportunity to get your work out there and, more importantly...READ.

Go for it 

Drugs

1 – Drug addiction and abuse takes its toll on all  – Regardless of whether you struggle with addiction in a personal manner, the emotional and financial impact effect stems throughout every town and community.

2 – Drug addiction and abuse in American costs the taxpayers an average of $484 billion each year, £3.6 Billion in the UK. This number includes lost job wages, healthcare costs, crime, traffic accidents and associated costs of the criminal justice system.

3 – Drug addiction and abuse can be linked to at least ½ of all major crimes committed in the United States, in the UK it rises to 2/3.

4 – Nearly 2/3 of those found in addiction recovery centers report sexual or physical abuse as children. Studies show child abuse to be a major factor in later life drug addiction.

5 – A stimulant is a drug that provides users with added energy and contentment. Common stimulants include cocaine, amphetamines, nicotine and even caffeine, and can be quite addictive.

6 – Many drugs are addictive due to the chemical changes they impose on the brain. Brain chemistry affects how people act, feel and experience life in a general manner. By changing the equation, these substances can cause permanent harm and even psychosis.

7 – Any IV drug use increases the risk of HIV exponentially.

8 – Inhalants encompass an array of office and household products. Users will inhale the fumes emitted by these products to obtain a high. Common inhalants include paints, glues, gas and other chemicals. 

9 – Though a great many people tend to focus their attention on alcohol and illegal drug abuse, the most addictive drugs are often found in the medicine cabinet. Many people become addicted to medications prescribed by a licensed physician to treat chronic pain, anxiety or sleeplessness. Others steal medications from friends and family members or purchase them illegally.

10 – Though marijuana has garnered a reputation as a medicinal cure-all, the drug offers its fair share of side effects, including memory loss, learning issues, clumsiness, altered reality perceptions and increased heart rate. The THC found in marijuana works to inhibit brain function and can result in long-lasting effects even after a user has quit smoking.

There is a helpline for people in the UK who need help and advice about drugs its :

0300 888 3853

In the USA its ;

National 1-800 Crisis Hotline

98% of the DNA in your genes is exactly the same as a chimpanzee’s.

Polaroids. What Eskimos suffer from after sitting down

on the ice for too long.

By the Book

Sorry, blatant plug, but, if you like what you see on here and would like to see it translates into my writing please take a look on Amazon at my new book,

Tales of the Unaccepted

It's 8 short stories all with a twist.

There is an added bonus that, if you buy the book and leave a review, you will end up as a character in my next release due December 2017!

Available on Amazon, Paperback or Kindle Version.

Link - https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1548896446/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1500073463&sr=8-1&keywords=tales+of+the+unaccepted

About the Author

Neville Raper invented You Tube, has swum the channel twice and is a habitual liar.

He lives in Yorkshire, where just like the locals, he says what he likes and likes what he says.

Broadcaster, Author, blogger, Neville is an occasional stand-up, and regular sit down.

Message from the Author.

Hi, thank you for buying this book unless you stole it, then shame on you.

Seriously, I hope you enjoy the stories within. A lot of people ask where I get the ideas from so I’ve taken the liberty of sharing the inspiration of each one. I hope that this may inspire you to write your own.

I’d like to say that this has been a long hard road to get to this point, but honestly, it hasn’t. I find writing a pleasure and having my work read a joy.

My ultimate goal is to write something that I would like to read and by doing so, hopefully, something you will enjoy reading as well.

So sit back, dim the lights, but not so much that you can’t read, and come with me on a journey.

These are all stories of ‘what if.' for isn’t that what life is all about?

Yours Forever

Neville

REVIEWS FOR TALES OF THE UNACCEPTED 

Top customer reviews

5.0 out of 5 starsLoved the twists

By T Southworth on 15 July 2017

Format: Paperback Verified Purchase

Loved it...a lot of the stories had a twist which I really enjoyed. I also enjoyed the sneak preview of the next book.....

Comment  Looking for voting buttons? Sorry, we don't let customers vote on their own reviews.

5.0 out of 5 starsIf you enjoy the unexpected then this book is for you

By Amazon Customer on 14 July 2017

Format: Paperback

Sinister,humorous,witty,thought provoking and a real page turner. If you enjoy the unexpected then this book is for you. An excellent read.

5.0 out of 5 starsA very enyoyable read

By on 19 July 2017

Format: Paperback Verified Purchase

It was a pleasure to read this book. Neville Raper is clearly a genuinely funny man. His engaging and self-deprecating sense of humour runs through these stories, but this is a lot more than just a funny book. Some of these stories explore the dark side of life and have a powerful sting in the tail (and tale).
This is not run-of-the-mill fiction. It is different, quirky and original.
I enjoy Neville’s easy style. He says that he enjoys writing and it shows. He has a real way with words. He uses excellent imagery in these pages and reveals himself as an astute observer of mankind.
I look forward to reading more of the work of this very promising writer.

Finish with a Song

This is the Verve with The drugs don't work released in 1997