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Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts

Tuesday, 19 September 2017

Hurricane

In Today's Issue

Escaping the Hurricanes by Anne Rhodes
Hurricanes
Random Joke of the Day
That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing
Tales of the Unaccepted now on Kobo
Finish with a Song





ESCAPING THE HURRICANES     ©  Anne Rhodes

Sometimes the bad things, sad things in my life
Loom large and take up all my precious thoughts
Sometimes depression blocks off reasoning
And I can curl up in my shell for weeks.

Then suddenly the outside world breaks through
Out in the outside world and seen from space
The warming world creates a deeper sea
And lands can flood or all their forests burn.

The wind blows stronger whipping into whorls
It grabs the extra water from the sea.
Faster spins the cloud to hurricane force
And drives itself towards the helpless isles.

Small low-lying helpless communities
Race away quite quickly by boat or plane.
Or hunker down through poverty and fear.
They pray they will not drown or lose their house.

The hurricane spins onward north-north-west
But to the south another one appears.
Tourists gone and all fishing boats destroyed
They tend the wounded, count the dead, and pray.

Now on the mainland, spins the whirling wind
Far ahead are long rows of fleeing cars.
Their money more, their houses better built,
So do they flee to save their precious skins?

Or is it that deep fear comes at us all
When faced with the unknown in any guise?
Our own small fears loom large inside our lives
As theirs who run from storm and hurricane.

We know not what goes on inside a mind;
A mind which keeps its counsel, hides its fears.
A trouble shared is halved, so it is said
Some of the weight lifted by listening ears.




  1. Hurricanes are large, spiraling tropical storms that can pack wind speeds of over 160 mph and unleash more than 2.4 trillion gallons of rain a day.
  2. The deadliest U.S. hurricane on record was a Category 4 storm that hit the island city of Galveston, Texas, on Sept. 8, 1900. Some 8,000 people lost their lives when the island was destroyed by 15-ft waves and 130-mph winds.
  3. Over 1/3 of cat and dog owners don't have a disaster preparedness plan in place for their animals. Help neighbors and friends come up with a hurricane plan for their pets.
  4. In the Atlantic, hurricane season starts June 1, while in the Pacific it starts May 15. Both end on November 30.
  5. When they come onto land, the heavy rain, strong winds and heavy waves can damage buildings, trees and cars. The heavy waves are called a storm surge.

  1. 0% of the hurricanes that occur in the United States hit Florida.
  2. The difference between a tropical storm and a hurricane is wind speed – tropical storms usually bring winds of 36 to 47 mph, whereas hurricane wind speeds are at least 74 mph.
  3. Hurricanes rotate in a counter-clockwise direction around the eye. The rotating storm clouds create the "eye wall," which is the most destructive part of the storm.
  4. Hurricanes are classified into 5 categories, based on their wind speeds and potential to cause damage. Names can be "retired" if a hurricane has been really big and destructive. Retired names include Katrina, Andrew, Mitch and most recently Sandy.
  5. When the National Hurricane Center began giving official names to storms in 1953, they were all female. This practice of using only women’s names ended in 1978.
  6. The costliest hurricane to make landfall was Hurricane Katrina, a Category 5 storm that slammed Louisiana in August of 2005. Damages cost an estimated $108 billion.


I really have to do something about my battery addiction, maybe I'll have to start going to AA meetings ..



At the start of World War I, the US Airforce (then a component of the US army) had only 18 pilots and 5 - 12 airplanes.




Now Available on Kobo as an e-book at the bargain price of £3.50 ($4.70)

Cheaper than a bottle of wine...... treat yourself !!




Finish with a Song

This is Thunder Rolls by Garth Brooks released in 1990


Sunday, 10 September 2017

Swap Ideas Day




In Today's Issue

Swap Ideas Day
My Ideas
Did you know? creative ideas
Random Joke of the Day
That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing
Contribute



Swap Ideas Day

This is the day for us to share and swap ideas and concepts. 

Some ideas are practical some are more abstract, whatever they are they are great to share if only to check their effectiveness.

This site is a great place to share your writing work and ideas and I am more than happy to help you develop that work.

To contribute just use the contact button on the side.




Ideas

Ideas in my head
They bobble around
Mixed with pictures
Sights and sounds

I hear a phrase
I hear a word
I let them fly
My idea bird

A man walks past
in too tight genes
What's his story
Could it mean.....

A woman with 
an ugly dog
Think in digital
or analogue?

So I write them down
for later use
For they will be used
In something obtuse




Did you Know?  Creative Ideas

72% OF PEOPLE HAVE CREATIVE INSIGHTS IN THE SHOWER


THE INTROVERTS ARE ONTO SOMETHING: SOLITUDE IS WHERE CREATIVITY THRIVES


TRYING NEW THINGS MAKES YOU MORE CREATIVE


TRAUMA HAS HIDDEN CREATIVE PROPERTIES


DAYDREAMING IS SURPRISINGLY GOOD FOR YOUR BRAIN


SOME OF THE BEST IDEAS ARE WIDELY RIDICULED BEFORE THEY’RE REVERED





Random Joke of the Day

"I'm sorry," said the barman, "we don't serve time travellers." 

A time traveller walks into a bar.




99.9% of your DNA is identical to that of everyone else in the world.





So, if you've got some writing or poetry you'd like to share to a GLOBAL audience. 

Then submit via the side button. Get you work read !!

Go on, have a go...









Friday, 8 September 2017

More Flash Poetry




In Today's Issue

More Flash Poetry
The Sea
Did you Know? ..... The Sea Side
Random Joke of the Day
That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing
Finish with a Joke




Yesterday I showed you some "Flash Poetry" and I asked for your examples, Quick as a Wink, Here is Marjory Lacy with her work ( she currently on holiday....can you tell? )

The  Seaside.
Sea, sand, kids and dogs.
Ice cream, hot chocolate.
Pizza for tea.
Don’t want to go home!

Moon.
Moon, Oh! Moon,
Where are you tonight?
Behind the clouds,
Out of sight!

Seagulls.
Seagulls hover,
watch you eating
You can see
What they are thinking.

Sun/rain.
There’s the sun gone again.
The sky’s gone dull, quick RUN!
Here comes the rain, rain, rain!

Furry Animals.
Do you like furry animals?
That you can cuddle and love.
Stroking their backs and ears.
Looking into their bright eyes.
And if they have one - see tails wag.

Rainbow.
High in the sky a rainbow
Appears, so pretty after the rain.
Its bright arch has gold at its ends.


And one more from me .....


The sea is trying to tell me something
but it's drowned out




Did you Know?.......The Sea Side



The UK’s coastline is well over 6,000 kilometres long!


The tallest recorded sand castle is 12.59 m (41 ft 3.67 in) tall.


The first English ice cream recipe was published in 1718.

The tallest ice cream cone was 9ft

Sandy beaches are mostly made of silica (SiO2) in the form of the mineral quartz.

The longest beach in the world is arguably Praia do Cassino (Casino Beach) in the city of Rio Grande, Brazil. It is approximately 212 km (132mi) long.





What do you get if you cross a motorway with a fridge? Killed.




The oldest condoms ever found date back to the 1640s (they were found in a cesspit at Dudley Castle), and were made from animal and fish intestines.


Finish with a Song
This is the Beach Boys with Californian Girls release in 1966



Thursday, 7 September 2017

Flash Poetry



In Today's Issue

Flash Poetry
This weeks Horoscopes
Random Joke of the Day
Finish with a Song




Flash Poetry

Do you have an inner poet? One way to 'dip your toe' is to try short prose.
One good rule to follow is to try and use metaphors, this will help you 'show' your reader what you are trying to say, rather than tell them.

Here's some of my examples.

gold

I watch the gymnastic leaf
tumble, topple and flip in the gutter
when it's done, it lays exhausted

Perhaps waiting for its gold medal.

tick tock

My heart is a clock
It ticks away my
routine heart
Humdrum drum drum
drum

crucifix

I live in the gaps
caused by my losses
The cracks in my life
Hide all my crosses

Torch

I could read in the dark
From the light in your
eyes

n raper 2017


Enjoy? hope so, have a go yourself......oh and send me your examples via the contact button.
They will be seen around the world.



This weeks Extremely Accurate Horoscopes With  Paul T Gyce

Hello, you're late ! As you well know, my name is Paul T Gyce. I've been the astrologer to kings and queens and some kings...

Now, sit back and bask in the wonder of how accurate my predictions will be for you, this coming week !!

Aries March 21 – April 20

This week you will lose 2lb's...It's down the back of the sofa.

Your lucky weight this week is 2lb less than you
weigh right now

Taurus April 21 – May 21

The moon is in ascendancy, I'll be honest
I'm not sure what that means, but I can tell you that this week
you'll have a drink.

Lucky Drink - Tizer and Advocaat


Gemini May 22 – June 21


The sign of the twins, this week you will be in two minds about growing a beard. If you're
a man go for it, if your a woman, give it a try.

Lucky Band ZZ Top

Cancer June 22 – July 23


MMMM........crab......

Lucky side dish, Salad
Leo July 24 – Aug 23

At the start of the week you will be troubled with a feeling that you
have forgotten something, by next Friday, you will realise it was your pants.

Lucky Stone, Sylvester  


Virgo Aug 24 – Sep 23

You would think that given it 2017 it would be cool to be in the garden in underwear.
OK, it wasn't your garden or, your underwear, but still.

Unlucky Number - 999

Libra Sept 24 – Oct 23


This week you may find a large man in your garden in your
under wear, please don't judge.

Lucky Colour - See Through



Scorpio Oct 24 – Nov 22


My ex wife was a Scorpio, so this week you will coming back from a very
expensive holiday with your new boyfriend, the flash one who works at the
gym you go to. No wonder you went every night. I did start to wonder though when you didn't lose any weight, you're still a fat cow....and he dyes his hair !

Lucky Rock... Hudson



Sagittarius Nov 23 – Dec 22


This week you will walk into a bar, there will be a Scotch man and an Irish Man. One of you
will tell a joke.

Lucky Punchline - and then my hat flew off !


Capricorn Dec 23 – Jan 20

Today you will read your horoscope and marvel how accurate it is and
you will tell all your friends.
Lucky Blog - This One...Subscribe


Aquarius Jan 21 – Feb 19




This week you will walk into a bar and meet a Sagittarius she will order a
double entendre and you will give her one.

Lucky Place - Across the road with the chicken



Pisces Feb 20 – March 20

This week you must avoid people with beards as they may be Captain Birdseye
all he wants to do is show you his fishy fingers. 

Unlucky Coating - Bread Crumbs



Random Joke of the Day





Smoking will kill you... Bacon will kill you... But smoking bacon will cure it.


Finish with a Song

This is The Verve with Sonnet released in 1997