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Showing posts with label flash fiction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label flash fiction. Show all posts

Monday 18 September 2017

Angel


In Today's Issue

Angels by Marjorie Lacy
Trivial Top 10
Random Joke of the Day
That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing
Finish with a Song




GUARDIAN ANGEL
Sleeping on the job?
When I was most in dire need
Just in time you woke

MY SCRUFFY GUARDIAN ANGEL
Dirty face, black eyes
Tattered wings and runny nose
You came up trumps all the same

MY GUARDIAN ANGEL- THANK YOU!
Worn wings, rusty sword
Playing cards with little devils?
You saved me in nick of time

MY SLAPDASH GUARDIAN ANGEL
On a sly fag break?
Eyes closed, feet up on a cloud?
All the same – you star

ANGEL
Blue-eyed Seraphim
Beautiful in silvered wings
Blonde halo of curls

ANGEL WARRIOR
Golden-eyed and strong
Shield raised sword held high prepared
Wings of hardened steel




Today, we look at the UK's
Top 10 favourite biscuits....

10 - Chocolate Fingers ( I know a dirty joke about these ! ) 

9 - Chocolate Bourbon ( Blurgh...not a fan )

8 - Ginger Nut ( Ron Weasley ?? )

7 - Digestive ( or suggestive )

6 - Chocolate Chip Cookie ( The American Invasion !! )

5 - Jaffa Cake ( errrrrrrm there's a clue in the name !! )

4 - Shortbread ( Och eye the noooo )

3 - Custard Cream .....( and a lay down in a darkened room )

2 - Chocolate Hobnob ... Comedy Name..

1 - Chocolate Digestive ......Do you dunk ?


Random Joke of the Day




Last week,I went to the funeral of a dear friend, who was killed in a freak tennis accident. The service was brilliant


The “D” in D-Day stands for “Day”, in other words, “Day-Day”


Finish with a Song


This is Angels by Robbie Williams released in 1997

Friday 8 September 2017

More Flash Poetry




In Today's Issue

More Flash Poetry
The Sea
Did you Know? ..... The Sea Side
Random Joke of the Day
That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing
Finish with a Joke




Yesterday I showed you some "Flash Poetry" and I asked for your examples, Quick as a Wink, Here is Marjory Lacy with her work ( she currently on holiday....can you tell? )

The  Seaside.
Sea, sand, kids and dogs.
Ice cream, hot chocolate.
Pizza for tea.
Don’t want to go home!

Moon.
Moon, Oh! Moon,
Where are you tonight?
Behind the clouds,
Out of sight!

Seagulls.
Seagulls hover,
watch you eating
You can see
What they are thinking.

Sun/rain.
There’s the sun gone again.
The sky’s gone dull, quick RUN!
Here comes the rain, rain, rain!

Furry Animals.
Do you like furry animals?
That you can cuddle and love.
Stroking their backs and ears.
Looking into their bright eyes.
And if they have one - see tails wag.

Rainbow.
High in the sky a rainbow
Appears, so pretty after the rain.
Its bright arch has gold at its ends.


And one more from me .....


The sea is trying to tell me something
but it's drowned out




Did you Know?.......The Sea Side



The UK’s coastline is well over 6,000 kilometres long!


The tallest recorded sand castle is 12.59 m (41 ft 3.67 in) tall.


The first English ice cream recipe was published in 1718.

The tallest ice cream cone was 9ft

Sandy beaches are mostly made of silica (SiO2) in the form of the mineral quartz.

The longest beach in the world is arguably Praia do Cassino (Casino Beach) in the city of Rio Grande, Brazil. It is approximately 212 km (132mi) long.





What do you get if you cross a motorway with a fridge? Killed.




The oldest condoms ever found date back to the 1640s (they were found in a cesspit at Dudley Castle), and were made from animal and fish intestines.


Finish with a Song
This is the Beach Boys with Californian Girls release in 1966



Wednesday 6 September 2017

Read a Book Day


In Today's Issue

Read a Book Day
My Book - Sneak Preview
Did you know? - Reading a Book
Random Joke of the Day
That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaazing
Finish with a Song




Read a Book

Today's the day to pour yourself your favourite beverage, get comfy and immerse yourself in a good book.


Research has shown that reading can have several health and social benefits. Frequent readers tend to have lower stress levels than non-readers. In addition, reading can stimulate brain activity and improve memory. Socially, reading can reap a lot of benefits - well-read people tend to be more empathetic and aware of societal ills and differences.
Reading can also improve critical thinking and comprehension skills and can make people better writers.
So READ !





This is my latest book, available now on Amazon, check out the 5 Star reviews.

I have another book out this December, title to be confirmed, but here is an extract from, working title "Woolworth's Fine Dining"



Jack, at first, felt no trepidation about being alone and unable to see where his mother had gone.
He would look for her in a bit. He walked over to the middle of the store where stood a huge escalator, its teeth eating up the floor. Above it was a list of levels and their various departments. To Jack they looked like the destination boards used at airports, he could just imagine a week's holiday in Abi Dashery. There were six floors in total ranging from Homewares to Soft furnishings. But it was one level that immediately caught Jack's eye, so much so, that any thought of his mother paled into insignificance. Right there on floor 6, just by the side of, Store Restaurant was, TOYS.


Jack stepped onto the escalator; he marvelled at its robotic movement as it rose him up to the next floor, how the steps formed from nothing into large metal boxes to fade away again and be
sucked in by the flat floor. He ran around only to see it re-forming another ladder up to the next level.

Finally, he was approaching the sixth floor; it slowly appeared before his eyes like a developing picture, pixel by pixel and then here it was Nirvana.

Jack had no idea where to start, there were rows upon rows of action figures, construction toys, cars, guns, robots, in the corner of his eye he glimpsed dolls, he shuddered, "I'll keep away from that section" he mumbled to himself.

                                                                      ***

If Jack had owned a watch or had, to be honest, any concept of time, he would, perhaps be thinking to himself about where his Mum was or even, what time this store closes. He didn't, and he wasn't. It was 4.55; the store closed, as most did in the 1970’s, at 5.30.


                                                                       ***


Jack's first port of call was the action figure aisle. The only versions he'd ever had of these were the ones passed onto him by his brothers, all were imperfect soldiers, and he supposed like real survivors of battles, his artificial Infantry also had missing limbs. The ones in front of him,
though, were perfect. Raw recruits in his personal fantasy war, he could almost hear them, barking confirmation of orders that he had given. The cacophony of missiles and gunfire echoing around as his men stood steadfast against impossible odds, and, of course, always victorious.

He could do no more than fantasising at the moment, as each action figure was tightly bound in the lover's embrace of their individual cardboard coffins. Jack was only 12, but he knew that to open the boxes was wrong, but not for the store, they were just the faceless peddling pimps of these dreams in plastic. No Jack felt for the end recipient of these soldiers, although he'd never had anything remotely new for himself, he would never rob the joy of packaging opening to any child, that slightly panicky joy when a present is received for the outer peel to be shredded to find the fruit.

Jack turned away from the army in front of him, slightly saddened, he was immediately cheered by the sight of a massive model train display.

It was 5.25.

                                                                           ***


Jack was transfixed, Lilliputian trains chugged around a perfectly formed world. The whole display was mounted upon a decorated display box, made to look like a grass foundation. The array itself was about eight-foot square. There were towns, stations and bridges perfectly formed and in scale with the puffing trains. Tiny people frozen in place waiting for their tiny trips, it seemed to Jack that one click of his fingers would bring them out of their suspended animation.

"THIS STORE IS NOW CLOSING; PLEASE MAKE YOUR WAY TO THE EXIT"

A cardiac stab hit Jacks, heart, he whirled and sprinted to the escalator. They were turned off.

                                                                      ***


The escalator that, only minutes before was a gliding stairway now looked like a craggy cliffside, all metallic teeth and large drops, he'd have a problem getting down that safely he thought. He looked around for an alternative, STAIRS TO ALL FLOORS; he made his way to the far side of the toy department.

"Hello sssssonny "a serpentine voice stopped him in his tracks, he turned to see the figure of a store security officer, his incredible height was only eclipsed by his thinness. So thin he nearly

wasn't there, thought Jack. Dressed in black with a peaked hat he looked like a shadow waning in the evening sun.

"I'm just heading out" answered Jack, "well good luck withthth that" smiled the guard, "the doors are locked now", and as if to reinforce this fact, he jingled the keys attached to his belt, the store jailer thought Jack.

"Oh sorry, can you let me out" Jack was aware of the slight panic in his voice.

"Well that all depends ssssssonny" once again that rasping lisp, "will you pay ththththe toll? "

At twelve years old, although Jack had lived in his lovely cosseted life and had no real concept of such things, he suddenly felt a panic enveloping him as if now he was prey.

The security guard loomed over him, and Jack could swear he was starting to drool. Just like the girl downstairs on the "Pick and Mix" he looked……hungry.

Jack didn't even think he just reacted; he kicked the guard hard on the shin. The man shouted in pain, and it was at that moment that Jack's world changed, forever.


                                                                        ***


It was now 5.50 and the people rushing home outside the store were all wrapped up in their pre-occupation, even if they could hear through the insulated walls and thick reinforced glass, would any of them react to the screams of a young boy?

                                                                         ***

What, at that precise moment made Jack scream, was the man's teeth. They looked like needles dipped in egg yolks, yellow and greasy. This his sanity could take, it was the sheer number of them. He seemed to have hundreds and, in that split second he had seen them all in their horrific carnivore horror. You see they didn't just cover his gums; they seemed to run all the way down his throat. Jack wondered if the man's stomach lining was a mass of chomping enamel fangs, and in that final glimpse, the break from reality, what made Jack really cry in terror, was the man's tongue, it was a mass of erupting ulcers, undulating and popping, tiny volcanos of rancid infection

Jack spun on his heels and ran; he had no idea where he was going to go, anywhere as long as it was away from that monstrosity. He stumbled blindly aware that all the time the guard was calling him "Don't be sssssssilly ssssson, there's nowhere to go, and I've got the keys, come on pay thththe toll…."


Jack found himself in the toy section again. Now the lights had been mainly extinguished for the end of the working day. The only real light in this dimly lit area came from the miniature train set, cheerily chugging around its plastic world. Jack made for it, he could perhaps hide behind its structure, and the little light it cast could help him spot his pursuer. He squatted down, panting in shock and the exertion of running.

He felt the hot squirt of urine in his Y-fronts as the hand shot out from below the display and grabbed his ankle.






Did you know? - Reading a Book

1. Reading can help prevent Alzheimer’s.


2. Being a reader means you’re more likely to learn something new every day.




3. People who read are more likely to vote, exercise, and be more cultural. ( well 2 out of 3 )

4. Reading can be therapeutic.


5. Reading enhances your memory.


6. Reading actually does make you seem sexier, especially to women. ( I am saying nothing! )



7. Reading helps to boost your analytical thinking.


8. Reading expands your vocabulary, so you’ll sound like a genius.


9. Fiction books increase your ability to empathize with others.


10. People who read are more likely to get ahead when it comes to their careers, and life in general.






My insomnia is awful. But on the plus side – only three more sleeps till Christmas. 



In Japan you are more likely to be struck by lightning than you are being shot by a gun !!

Finish with a Song

This is Elvis Costello with Everyday I write a Book released in 1986



Tuesday 29 August 2017

The Hurricane




In Today's Issue

The Hurricane by Sharon Shields
Hurricanes
A Thank You
Random Joke
That's Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing
Finish with a Song



The Hurricane

This was it, this was my big moment. Up to now I'd done county fairs and hot dog eating competitions, but as the only reporter in this part of Florida, I had to cover Hurricane Bertram.  I could hear Steve, the studio anchor, in my earpiece, finishing his piece to camera about the hurricane.  I could see my cameraman counting down on his fingers to me, my heart rate increasing as the numbers decreased.  Three. Two. One.

"Over to Becky who is in Naples.  How are things there?"

"Hi Steve.  Well as you can see, its a little gusty out here today!  Gusts have reached 110 miles per hour and there are reports already of trees coming down on Highway 41.  The streets are empty, with some residents taking shelter in their own homes, but the majority have evacuated upstate, out of the path of Hurricane Bertram."

I was struggling to stand against the gusts and shifted my weight from foot to foot, trying to stay upright.

"You ok there Becky?" Steve laughed, a deep throaty chuckle in my ear.  I grimaced.

"Yeah I think so Steve but  I've had easier days."  I turned slightly to the side, allowing the camera to see the ocean behind me, the waves had come up the beach and onto the boardwalk where I stood.  I moved forward slightly as the waves covered my feet, spray blowing into my face.  I shook my head, trying to get my wet hair out of my mouth.  At least now my interview was over.

"Back to you in the studio Ste..."


It hit me side on, without warning, knocking me over.  I heard Steve gasp and say "Was... was that a fish...?"

Sharon Shields



Hurricanes
(Dosomething.org)

Before I go any further my thoughts go out to all my American readers.....keep safe.




  1. Hurricanes are large, spiraling tropical storms that can pack wind speeds of over 160 mph and unleash more than 2.4 trillion gallons of rain a day.
  2. The deadliest U.S. hurricane on record was a Category 4 storm that hit the island city of Galveston, Texas, on Sept. 8, 1900. Some 8,000 people lost their lives when the island was destroyed by 15-ft waves and 130-mph winds.
  3. Over 1/3 of cat and dog owners don't have a disaster preparedness plan in place for their animals. Help neighbors and friends come up with a hurricane plan for their pets.
  4. In the Atlantic, hurricane season starts June 1, while in the Pacific it starts May 15. Both end on November 30.
  5. When they come onto land, the heavy rain, strong winds and heavy waves can damage buildings, trees and cars. The heavy waves are called a storm surge.


  1. 0% of the hurricanes that occur in the United States hit Florida.
  2. The difference between a tropical storm and a hurricane is wind speed – tropical storms usually bring winds of 36 to 47 mph, whereas hurricane wind speeds are at least 74 mph.
  3. Hurricanes rotate in a counter-clockwise direction around the eye. The rotating storm clouds create the "eye wall," which is the most destructive part of the storm.
  4. Hurricanes are classified into 5 categories, based on their wind speeds and potential to cause damage. Names can be "retired" if a hurricane has been really big and destructive. Retired names include Katrina, Andrew, Mitch and most recently Sandy.
  5. When the National Hurricane Center began giving official names to storms in 1953, they were all female. This practice of using only women’s names ended in 1978.
  6. The costliest hurricane to make landfall was Hurricane Katrina, a Category 5 storm that slammed Louisiana in August of 2005. Damages cost an estimated $108 billion.


A big thank you to all my visitors.
My readers for the last 24 hours are :-

United States
527
United Kingdom
502
Germany
57
Czechia
40
Ukraine
31
Ireland
30
Canada
27
Portugal
27
Poland
24
France
22

Thank you all sooooooooooooo much

Neville



Random Joke of the Day


I've started my own cremation ashes storage business. It's a nice little urner


The first toy ever advertised on TV?......Mr Potato Head !


Finish with a Song

For the storms, This is Garth Brooks with Thunder Rolls released in 1990